


Damnatio Aeterna (by the will of God)

by DrownedOutStars



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Biting, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, Catholicism, Claiming Bites, Dhampir Rey, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, I also think dhampirs are neat, I just think religious vampire hunters are neat, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Leather Glove Kink, Loss of Virginity, Mates, My own twist of dhampirs, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Oral Sex, Plot First Porn Second, Religion, Religious Content, Religious vampire hunters are literally my bread and butter, Rey (Star Wars) Has Issues, Rey Palpatine, Rey doesn't know she's a Palpatine until much later, Rey's father is Palpatine's biological son, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sex in a church I repeat sex in a church, There is some religious smack talk i won't lie, Throw in a dash of alchemy why don't we, True Mates, Vaginal Fingering, Vampire Bites, Vampire Hunter Rey, Vampire Hunters, Vampire Kylo Ren, Vampires, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), vampire mates, vampire mating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:54:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 53,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrownedOutStars/pseuds/DrownedOutStars
Summary: (Damnatio Aeterna - Eternal Damnation)"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."- UnknownThe year is 1893, the place London, England, and the Resistance are a group of vampire hunters led by Father Skywalker of the Catholic Church.Rey, who was adopted by Father Skywalker at age five, has known the existence of vampires for as long as she could remember and is the best hunter in the group. She's fearless, incredibly skilled, and there hasn't been a vampire that's met her that hasn't been sent back straight to Hell.That is, until Kylo Ren, and she begins to learn things about herself that she wish she never knew after meeting him.(I suck at summaries)
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 117
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

_No one is exactly sure when they surfaced, but some say they came around the same time as humans did._

_But, unlike humans, these creatures do not live in the day and rejoice in the sunlight._

_They stay within the shadows, feasting upon the abyss of night, and tearing into the moon with their very presence._

_They stayed hidden for centuries, becoming humanity's very shadow and living amongst the darkness as its own kin. They stray far from the light, far from God, and the only entity they are involved with is the Devil himself._

_But, one day, humans did learn._

_A group of priests stumbled upon them one night, and God looked the Devil in the very eyes that night._

_Only a few made it out with their very lives, and they pledged their lives to destroy the very children of the night in order to restore peace on earth and shine God's light upon the world._

_For generations they've existed, hiding amongst humans as hidden saviors, and most of humanity has still been blinded to these creatures thanks to them._

_They have gone through numerous names throughout the centuries, and their name will change over and over again as time goes by._

_For now, it was 'the Resistance', and a new threat has arisen from the depths of Hell._

🥀🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🥀

**London, England. November of 1893.**

Rey walked into the main part of the cathedral, her eyes downcast as she walked towards the large cross in the chapel.

She got on her knees in front of the cross, blessing herself in the cross formation before putting her hands together in prayer and bowing her head as she closed her eyes and began to speak the Lord's prayer.

" _Pater noster, qui as in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum_." 

The Latin flew from her lips as she felt her shoulders relax. She breathed in the ancient words, letting them fill her lungs and then exhaling them out in serene prayer.

" _Adveniat regnum tuum. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris_."

She droned out every single sound but her voice. She let the wind grow silent, let it die the moment it caressed the large stained glass windows.

" _Et se nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo_."

The world was still. Rey was still. All that existed was her and these words.

"Amen." Rey exhaled out the word as she let her eyes flutter open, all sounds rushing back at once as she looked up at the cross.

As a young child, when she was first brought to the church by the orphanage, this cross had frightened her. She would stand in front of it each day, staring up at it with terrified eyes as her body trembled.

For years, she had nightmares of her being the one up on the cross instead of Jesus. She had nightmares that it was her hands and feet that were nailed to it, and in those nightmares she would scream and scream and scream.

But children are always afraid of things, and once you become an adult, those things you were once afraid of as a child are more than silly. 

She stared at it for a few more moments before standing up and turning around, walking down the long hall of pews before opening the doors and exiting the chapel.

She walked down the halls of thick marble, her eyes downcast with a blank expression on her face.

Most people don't revel in silence, as they find it to be pure insanity to be alone in the quiet and let their minds be the loudest thing in the room. Most people enjoy noise, wrap themselves up in it and cling tightly to its bright threads. 

But Rey never did. 

She preferred the silence, preferred the still quiet and let herself drown in it and swallow her whole. She danced in the waves of it, let herself twirl and spin into nothingness as her mind consumed her as the mind always does when given the slightest opportunity.

She let herself float as she continued to walk, once again drowning out all noise as she slowly hugged herself. She let her gloved hands slide up her arms almost up to her shoulders, let the leather kiss the wool of her long coat.

She let the ghosts of her past walk beside her, let them whisper their memories into her ears and listened to them inventively. 

" _Remember us?_ ", they would whisper. " _Do you remember everything we've done? Everything we have said, everything we have breathed? Let us share our regrets together, let us harmonize our woe._ "

Rey inhaled sharply before halting in her steps, her head whipping up as she looked out one of the window openings in the hallway out towards the monastery. 

She squinted before cursing under her breath and began to run, quickly running towards the doors and out to the monastery.

"Finn!" Rey cupped her hands around her mouth as she ran, a young black man turning his head towards her and smiling brightly. 

"Rey!" He called out as he waved his hand at her, Rey grinning as she ran faster. 

"Finn, you imbecile, you came back early!" Rey laughed as she approached him, pushing him playfully only for him to chuckle in response.

"Did I?" Finn continued to smile and Rey leaned against the stone wall as she caught her breath. 

"You were supposed to be in Romania for another two weeks," Rey exhaled loudly as a smile painted itself on her lips with the grace of Michelangelo's paintbrush. "Why'd you come back so soon?"

"Oh, you know," Finn sighed as he leaned back against the wall with her, turning his head to look down at her as he put his hands in his pockets. "I missed you."

"No, I'm serious!" Rey laughed yet again and Finn looked back forward.

"I did what I had to do in Transylvania. I killed the blonde one." Finn's voice grew quiet as he shifted from one foot to the other and Rey's smile dissipated as she processed his words.

"You killed Phasma?" Rey whispered and Finn nodded.

"...Congratulations!" Rey shot out after a moment and Finn jumped at the loudness of her tone. 

"She was, uh...a rather slippery one, huh? We've been tracking her for months now, and you finally killed her! I think that calls for celebration, eh? Eh?" Rey grinned as she elbowed him playfully.

"I think the celebration is reveling in that I have done God's work and the world is rid of one more lee--"

"Aw, no! Come on!" Rey elbowed him again and he looked down at her with an arched brow. "One glass of wine won't kill you, right? Just tell yourself that it's for religious purposes and not for personal celebration! There's no sin in that, hmm?"

"However did you get chosen to become a hunter?" Finn tittered and Rey shrugged.

"Father Skywalker took me in from the orphanage at age five, and I was too nosy and quickly found out what he teaches beside the Lord's word. I kind of forced myself into it, actually. Before he could even say no, I was out training here with you, Poe, Rose, Kaydel, Jessika and Paige." Rey hummed as she looked up at the stone roof of the outer balcony. "I just wouldn't take no for an answer, that's all. I wanted to be included."

"You certainly have a strange relationship with God, that's for sure," Finn smirked and Rey huffed as she continued to stare up at the roof. "What would He say for you wanting to drink out of personal celebration?"

"He'd probably say 'hell, yeah'," Rey murmured before laughing as Finn playfully pushed her away while laughing as well.

"You are quite the strange one, Rey."

"Ah, but you love me for it." Rey winked before looking out at the yard and then stepping forward to look up at the sky.

The air was cold; brittle, almost. She could taste the precipitation of rain in the air, see the clouds greying and hear the looming thunder off in the distance.

A storm was coming, and she could feel the intensifying electric currents that clung to the air. 

"A storm is coming," Rey breathed out, speaking her thoughts, as she continued to look up at the sky. Grey swelled in her vision, the clouds puffy and ready to release rain onto the ground below at any given moment. "That'll make tonight's hunt interesting."

"Oh, you're going on a hunt?" Finn asked as he walked forward to her, leaning his arms against the stone railing as he looked over at her.

"Yeah," Rey breathed out yet again before sticking her hand out. A droplet of rain fell into her palm, and her eyes lit up at the chillness of it. "With Paige."

"Who's the target?" 

Rey looked over at him at his question, bringing her hand back and letting the rain droplet slide off of her skin.

"The one who was always seen with Phasma. The redheaded one." Rey blinked and Finn clicked his tongue before nodding.

"Armitage Hux," Finn sighed as he stepped away from the railing. "The blonde one told me he'd kill me in revenge for her. I suppose he already heard the news of me killing her."

"Don't worry, I'll kill him for you," Rey stuck out her pinky with one of her famous grins. Like the sun, they were. "Pinky promise."

"Oh-ho-ho, the elusive pinky promise!" Finn gasped dramatically before locking his pinky with hers. "Don't you know how truly sacred these are, Rey? I must say, you are quite the daring child of God."

"I've been called daring before, sure," Rey rolled her eyes with a smile as she took her hand away. "But I believe the word 'reckless' suites me much better. If I were a word, that would be it." She fiddled with her golden cross necklace as she spoke, Finn laughing as he shook his head.

"You are indeed reckless, and the amount of times I've heard Father Skywalker shout ' _reckless child!_ ' is abundant." Finn leered and Rey snorted as she walked towards the door of the monastery, pushing it open as she held her hand out for Finn to walk in.

"He's not wrong, is he? I mean, I'm about to get us drunk for the sole reason of personal celebra--I mean religious reasons." Rey cleared her throat and Finn sighed before walking inside with her.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

"This weather is dreadful," Paige sighed in annoyance as they stood in an alley on an empty street as the rain poured down. "How could Father Skywalker possibly expect us to perform well in this downpour?"

"I think it makes the hunt much more fun." Rey smiled as she polished her dagger blade on her coat. She had dipped it in holy water at least fifteen times before they had left, and she had let it sit out under the sun all day before that. 

She twirled it in her hand, marveling at the ivory handle and caught her eyes in its pure silver reflection. "Besides, I've got your back. I'll be your eyes if you need me to be."

"You always have been exceptional in difficult instances, haven't you?" Paige laughed breathlessly as she tied her hair back with a ribbon. "You really saved my ass last December in Norway in that snow storm, remember? I don't think I've ever seen anyone but a leech move that fast in blinding snow and hear that well in deafening winds."

Rey paused at her words before scoffing with a smile and shaking her head. It was a compliment, yes, but Rey thought it rather silly to compare her hard learned skills to that of the very creature they hunt.

Her eyes suddenly flicked towards the entrance of the alleyway, her pupils blowing wide as she recognized a blur of red hair run by. 

She took off running, hearing Paige run after her, and the both of them ran into the rainy street to see the redhead at the end of the street.

He was dressed in all black as most leeches were, his hair matted to his skull and dripping with rain as well as rain sliding down his enraged face. His pale skin practically glowed in the night; white as paper with no trace of living color.

Rey stared at him and he directly stared back, his gloved hands clenching into fists as he sneered. 

She could see his fangs from where she was standing.

"Why is he just standing there?" Paige asked quietly and Rey narrowed her eyes as she took a step forward, but Hux remained still.

"I...don't know," Rey murmured as the rain plummeted down upon them relentlessly. The air was cold, the rain was cold, and the entire situation was cold. Everything felt...frozen.

"This has never happened before, a leech would normally be running at us now," Paige silently took her pistol from her holster, but Hux's icy jade eyes were still glued onto Rey.

"...I think he's waiting," Rey breathed out in realization. "I think he's waiting for us to make the first move. I don't think he's like the others, I think he's just as intelligent as the blonde one was."

"Then I suppose we shouldn't make him wait any longer, huh?" Paige grinned before cocking her pistol and pointing it at him.

The moment the first shot rang out, the battle had begun. 

He had dodged the bullet, obviously, just as Rey had expected him to do so, and he ran forward only for Rey to grin and run straight at him.

She heard Paige shout out to her to not be stupid, but these were the only times that Rey felt truly alive. She lived for the hunt, lived for the feeling of her blade slicing through dead flesh, and she lived to see the leeches burst into irredeemable ashes.

He grinned in the same fashion as her as they continued to run at each other, both of them almost crashing into each other as the moment Rey had waited for had came.

"You're interesting, aren't you?" Hux chuckled as she swung her dagger at him only for him to dodge it. "Running right at me with a steady heartbeat."

"What can I say? I'm good at my job." Rey muttered in an annoyed tone as she swung the dagger again, swiping her leg in an attempt to knock him onto the ground. He was suddenly up on the roof of a building, crouching down as he clicked his tongue and wagged his finger.

Paige aimed at him again and he ducked as the bullet went over his head, but his eyes never left Rey's.

"He would like you, you know that?" Hux called out and Rey's pupils blew up once more at his words.

"Where is he?" Rey's expression hardened as she ran up a few boxes on the side of the building, landing on the roof with a murderous look in her eyes. "Where is Ren?"

"And you're fast, too," Hux smiled as he stood up, tilting his head to the side as he looked her up and down. "I don't think I've ever quite met a hunter like you."

" _Where is Ren_?!" Rey screamed before rushing forward, swiping the blade at him only for him to jump backwards with a laugh.

"My goodness! The rage in you is exquisite, huntress! I almost don't want to call you scum!" Hux laughed again before vanishing, and Rey screamed again as he appeared behind Paige and tore his hand through her stomach before ripping it out and kicking her down to the ground.

" _Paige_!" Rey screamed at the top of her lungs as tears stung her eyes, Paige looking up at her with frightened eyes.

"I suppose you didn't have her back after all, did you?" Hux smiled as he dragged his tongue up his hand, only to spit the blood out on the ground.

Rey jumped down from the building and Hux stared at her with wide eyes as she landed perfectly on her feet, Rey running at him and slicing his throat with her dagger as she let out another scream.

"Y-you're not--dear God, I hope he's here," Hux choked out as blood streamed down his chest from his throat, and Rey plummeted the dagger into his chest to watch him explode into ash.

Rey fell to her knees and picked Paige up, cradling her in her arms as her tears mixed with the rain. "H-hey, Paige, you're going to be okay, okay?"

"It's not your fault, Rey," Paige choked out before coughing up an existential amount of blood. "You can't--you can't blame yourself for this, okay? I wasn't paying attention--"

"Paige--Paige, come on," Rey stood up to her feet before picking Paige up bridal style, only to halt as she saw who she had been looking for for months on end just a few feet away from her.

He was pale, unnaturally so, with long black hair that hung to his lower mid neck in an almost regal fashion. He was tall, broad like an ox, and he had beauty marks dusting his face. He was uniquely handsome, but she didn't know what she had expected. Almost all leeches were attractive. It was how they lured in their prey.

He was dressed in all black, his hands donned with black leather gloves, and to her he looked like the embodiment of Death.

But his _eyes_. Devilish twin rubies who glimmered like freshly spilt blood, shining with the promise of unadulterated sin in its 'living' stones.

Ren. This was Kylo Ren, lord of the leeches, and the one her and all of the hunters had been searching for.

He stared at her before looking down at the wet ashes on the ground, then at Paige, and then back at her.

It was unbelievably still for a moment, except for the stinging rain that was deafening in the air, and Rey only stared at him as he stared back at her with something in his demonic eyes akin to curiosity.

It was the only time in Rey's life where she wanted to run.

"Rey," Paige swallowed thickly before coughing, Rey looking down at her to see Paige smiling up at her comfortingly. "Run."

"What?" Rey whispered and Paige nodded reassuringly as she continued to smile.

"Leave me. Run."

Rey looked back up to see him still standing there as still as a statue, his eyes unblinking as they burned into hers like ruby inferno. She could see his lips curl up into a slow smile, and Rey made a decision right then and there.

She turned and ran _with_ Paige in her arms.

But it was only a matter of seconds before he was in front of her, Rey nearly running into him before stumbling backwards with fear visibly coming off of her in heavy waves.

 _Why am I afraid? I shouldn't be afraid_ , Rey took another step back as she felt Paige slowly growing limp in her arms, and she knew she only had so little time to get Paige back to the church in time to save her. _It's his eyes...it has to be his eyes...I've never seen a leech with red eyes. That--that has to be why._

"I didn't think the Church would send such a reckless woman. Are you not all about inner peace, and not about unpredictable violence? That seems more up my kind's alley." Oh, his voice wasn't what she had expected in the slightest. His voice was equivalent to that of silk on fire; the frayed ends burning into the smoothness and creating an ashy pile of sleek danger. 

Rey stayed silent as he took a step forward, only for her to take several steps back as she narrowed her eyes in warning.

She didn't realize Paige was taken out of her arms and thrown onto the ground as she was yanked forward by the Devil himself. 

He grabbed her by her coat collar, pulling her close only for him to freeze as his eyes slowly widened.

She smelled of decaying roses, of brutal winters, and of harsh ice. It was the scent of death, of cold, and he didn't understand. How could a human, much less a hunter, smell that... _dead_? All of his kind's scent were cold in nature, of fresh death not easily scented by mortals, and yet...and yet she smelled like it. She smelled like _him_. Even in the rain, she smelled like him.

"...Interesting," Kylo muttered as his gloved hands loosened on her collar, Rey's chest heaving up and down erratically as she stared up at him. "Very, very interesting."

Rey found her strength then and sliced the right side of his face all the way down to his chest, the brunette choking as some of his blood got into her mouth.

Kylo screamed and instantly let go of her, stumbling backwards and to the side before falling to his knees and clutching his face as he screamed again. 

Rey let her dagger clatter to the ground as she scooped Paige up in her arms, turning and running as fast as she could as she heard the Devil scream yet again.

And then she heard him _laugh_ , and terror gripped her as she ran even faster and disappeared into the rainy shadows of the night.

Kylo laughed bitterly as he stared down at the ground, watching his blood wash away in the rain once it hit the cobblestoned street. He could feel the hellishly deep wound healing, vanishing as soon as it came, and a sick part deep inside of him wished it wouldn't heal.

She was gone now, he knew that, but he could find her again.

He could find her again and ask exactly who she was, and why she smelled _exactly_ like him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short, and I apologize for that, but I promise the next chapter will be the normal two thousand to three thousand words!
> 
> Also, for the dress Rey is wearing, here is the imagery: 
> 
> Also, while writing the ballroom scene, I strictly listened to Melting Waltz from the Penny Dreadful OST

Rey stumbled into the chapel into the cathedral where Finn and Poe were, both of their heads whipping towards her and Finn's hands instantly went to his mouth as he saw her wide, frightened eyes and Paige barely alive in her arms.

"Help," Rey called out in a trembling voice and Poe and Finn instantly ran over, Poe taking Paige from her arms as Rey began to collapse.

Finn instantly caught her, Rey's body limp in his arms with her face pointed towards the ceiling. Fear melted away into exhaustion, and Rey inhaled slowly as she felt herself relax at his touch.

This must've looked like a painting of sorts. A man cradling a woman's body close to him, staring down at her in pain as she looked up at the ceiling lifelessly.

_Mourner's embrace_ , Rey whispered in her mind. _I believe that's a more than fitting title for this painting._

"I killed Hux," Rey whispered and Finn exhaled loudly as Poe rushed with Paige out of the chapel.

"You did?" Finn spoke quietly and Rey nodded once in a lifeless manner as she let her eyes close.

"And Ren was there."

Well, that certainly changed the atmosphere of the room as Finn nearly dropped her out of shock.

"Ren--Ren was _there_? And you didn't--"

"I couldn't," Rey laughed bitterly as she reopened her eyes, anger swirling in a forest of hazel as venom dripped from the tip of her tongue. "Because I was _afraid_."

Finn stared down at her in disbelief before inhaling sharply and bending her knees to pick her up bridal style, carrying her out of the chapel and outside into the pouring rain.

She knew he was heading towards the monastery, knew that he was to take her to her room, but all she wanted to do was be laid down in the autumn grass and sink into the soaked dirt until nothing was left of her. 

She wanted to disappear. She wanted to be put to rest for her ultimate failure.

"Rey," Finn's voice sounded far away as the rain continued to pour down onto them. "Rey?"

Rey's eyes fluttered closed as she slowly let darkness overtake her, and the last thing she heard was Finn frantically running and repeatedly saying her name.

\--------------------------------------------------------

_Why she was dreaming of him, she didn't know. But there he was, standing in front of her within a black abyss surrounding them, and all Rey could do was stare back._

_He stared at for a moment for a moment longer before she suddenly realized that they were in a ballroom of sorts, he putting one hand on her waist as his other hand fit into hers. She held onto his upper arm as they began to waltz around, their eyes never breaking as they both searched for something within their gazes._

_"Who are you?" Kylo asked and Rey hummed softly as her black gown that had seemingly manifested upon her moved across the marble floor like spilled ink onto parchment. He was also dressed in black, and she had a sinking feeling that her mind had made that intentional._

_"I'm nobody," She sighed as they continued to move, Rey suddenly realizing that they weren't alone. There must have been hundreds of others in the room, but her eyes never left Kylo's. "I'm nothing."_

_"Nothing?" He scoffed with a smile as he slowly pulled her closer, his hand sliding lower to her lower hip. "I am conversing with nothing?"_

_"It would appear so, yes," Rey smirked and he chuckled quietly. He seemed beyond intrigued, and she couldn't find a trace of malice in his living rubies. "You are speaking and dancing with nothing but the air."_

_"You are an oddly peculiar little creature, you know that?" Kylo smiled wider as she heard music suddenly playing in the background. The violins and cello sang their melancholy woe, the piano and harp collaborating to make up with a fallen angel's dying whisper of beauty to the sadness of the string's lament._

_"I'm odd? Says the one dancing with air!" Rey laughed breathlessly as they continued to move, her hand absentmindedly moving up to cup his neck._

_They were touching as if they were lovers, and Rey didn't know why it felt so blissfully normal._

_"The air has a beautiful smile," Kylo smirked and Rey scoffed loudly as she rolled her eyes._

_"Why are you flirting with me, Ren? Even though this is just some odd fever dream, I killed Hux, and I kill your kind every chance I get. I hate your kind, simply put, and, one day, I'll have your fangs in a small bottle on my dresser." Rey smirked right back and he laughed loudly as he shook his head, pulling her even closer as he laced their fingers together._

_"Oh, huntress, how you caress my heart with such vile promises!" Kylo laughed again as he looked up._

_"Why am I here, Ren?" Rey breathed out as she looked up at him to see that he was still smiling as he looked back down at her. "This--this isn't just some fever dream brought on by the sickness of rain, is it?"_

_"Mmn, no," Kylo grinned. "No, it's not a fever dream. You have me in you, huntress. Did you forget?"_

The blood, _Rey's eyes widened in realization._ Some of his blood got into my mouth.

_"I--I don't--" Rey's words died in her mouth as she continued to stare into his eyes, her hand traveling up to gently caress his face with her satin gloved hand._

_"You're a marvel," Kylo spoke almost in awe. "In all my years, in all my centuries of being on this godforsaken earth, I have never,_ never _met someone like you. Ever."_

_"But I'm nothing--"_

_"Not to me," He halted as he dipped her, sliding his hand down her throat to her breast to feel her heartbeat under his palm. Rey breathed shakily as her head lolled back, his touch seemingly electrifying and calming her nerves all at once. "Not to me."_

_"I'm going to find you," His voice dropped unbelievably low, and Rey suddenly realized the danger that she was in. "And, when I do, I'm going to find out exactly what you are."_

_"I'm human," Rey whispered in slight terror as she felt him nose her neck like a mother dog would to her pup. The desire had died, as it never should have been born, and now all she felt was her hunter instincts going on high alert as she stayed still in his arms. "And I'm a huntress of the Resistance."_

_"You don't smell like a human, huntress," Kylo shivered as his eyes closed at her scent. "You smell like..._ me. _You smell of the dead."_

_"You're fucking insane..." Rey breathed out shakily and Kylo paused for a moment before laughing loudly and coming back up as he pulled her up, twirling her around and pulling her close from behind._

_"You really do tell it how it is, don't you?" He laughed again and Rey stared at herself in the mirror on the back wall in horror._

_The room was empty with just herself in it._

_The others in the room weren't people, they were vampires, and she was the only human in sight._

_Now she knew that she was_ definitely _in danger._

_"We make quite a spectacle of a pair, don't we?" Kylo purred in her ear as he lifted her arms up from her side, Rey nearly choking on air as her arms seemingly moved on their own in the reflection._

_"Ren, stop," Rey shot out but Kylo only smirked as he dropped her arms, pulling her even closer against him as he ran his hands down her sides teasingly slow._

_"Since you killed off my fledgling siblings, I think it's only fair that you give me a replacement," He twirled her around again before lifting her chin up with his index finger. "Don't you?"_

_"Wha--no?!" Rey spat and Kylo arched a brow with an unamused expression._

_"Eternity gets awfully lonely, huntress. They kept me company, did so for centuries, and you and your little hunter friend murdered them. So," He traced her jaw with his finger before clicking his tongue. "I think it only fair that you give me a replacement, and I believe you know who I want."_

_"Absolutely not!" Rey snapped as she pushed him back, anger flashing in his eyes before his smile returned as he ran a hand through his hair._

_"Ah, but here's the thing," Kylo chortled and Rey looked around to every single pair of eyes in the room on her._

_"I'm not taking no for an answer."_

_Rey felt like she was falling the second the music halted to a stop after he spoke. She felt as if she had stumbled over a rocky cliff, her body twisting and flailing, and she was waiting to reach a rocky end. Everything was going both slow and fast at once, and all she could do was stand frozen as panic consumed her very nerves._

_"No," Rey practically whimpered as she forced herself to slowly walk backwards, clutching her chest as she shook her head. "No, I'm of God. I belong to God."_

_He looked positively irritated at her response before stalking up to her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward as he glared down at her._

_"You religious hunters and your vows of celibacy! 'I belong to God and only God, God is my one true love!' Come off of it, Rey! It's nonsense! Religion. Has. Always. Been. Nonsense!" Kylo bit out the last five words with a bite worse than a hellhound as his eyes glowed with unbridled rage._

_Rey stared up at him with misty eyes as she choked back a sob, her eyes darting around to see that all eyes were still on her._

_She hated this. She hated_ him.

_"Matter of fact," Kylo hissed once again as he tore off her cross necklace, Rey crying out as the gold metal chain and pendant hit the ground. "He doesn't even care about you, so why do you parade around a symbol of a deity that doesn't even care that you exist?"_

_Rey stared at the necklace on the ground before sniffling as tears finally began to well in her eyes, her lower lip trembling as she looked back up at him._

_He still looked enraged, as if he didn't even care that she was about to burst out sobbing, but she could see something similar to regret shining in his eyes as a couple tears slid down her cheeks._

_"...He's the only one that's been there since the beginning," Rey whispered brokenly as she looked down at the broken necklace once more. "But you wouldn't know anything about that because you strayed far from His path long ago. Didn't you?"_

_"Because I realized that your God is nothing," Kylo narrowed his eyes angrily and Rey's eyes flicked back up to his. "And I am the only God I need."_

_"Heresy at its finest--"_

_"Heretics are the ones that have all the fun." Kylo dropped her wrist before turning around and began to walk out of the ballroom, the other vampires vanishing one by one as he walked past them._

_Rey knelt down and gently picked up the broken necklace, cradling it to her chest as she hung her head mournfully. It felt as if a piece of her had broken off right along with the necklace, and she easily blamed Kylo for it. She was terrified he was going to break her even more, and she wasn't even awake._

_"Rey," Kylo spoke from the entrance of the ballroom and Rey looked up at him with teary eyes. "I am going to find you...and then I'm going to make you permanently mine."_

_"And if I say no?" Her voice didn't sound like her own, it sounded too...she couldn't even place it._

_Kylo looked over his shoulder with a grin before speaking, "You won't."_

Rey's eyes flew open and she bolted up, her hand instantly flying to her necklace and she sighed in relief as it was still safely clasped around her neck. A clap of thunder shook the room and she nearly jumped as her door swung open.

"Rey," Rose choked out from the doorway and Rey's face fell at the sight of her crying.

"Paige is dead."


	3. Chapter 3

Rey sat in the chapel alone, seated upon one of the pews with her eyes downcast at the marbled floor.

She couldn't believe that she had failed to bring Paige back in time in order to save her. She couldn't believe that she had failed _twice_ that night.

She felt as if ice had encased her skin and very soul, leaving her this frozen shell of a person and the only one she had to blame was herself.

But also _him_.

_"Rey, I'm going to find you...and then I'm going to make you permanently mine."_

She knew he only knew her name by hearing Paige say it, but still. _Still_. Hearing her name on his lips was almost like indulging in all seven deadly sins at once, and it irritated her to no end that when he spoke her name, it stirred something within her that she had never known was there.

She just had to be messy instead of precise with her cutting, she just had to get some of his blood into her mouth, and _he_ just had to invade her dreams and try to get her to crack and ultimately succeeded in doing so.

Never again. Never again would she cry before him, never again would she show fear. She'd kill him the next time she saw him, and then she and the others could move onto Snoke.

She clenched her fists in her lap as she glared at the floor, inhaling sharply through her nose as a rage like no other swept over her like a infectious plague. She let it infect her, fill her lungs with calamitous smog, and she breathed out the hatred bitterly.

"Rey," 

Rey's head snapped up at the sound of Finn behind her. She stood up and turned to face him, only to instantly regret it as she saw his utterly defeated expression.

"We tried everything, but she--her stomach was torn clean through, we all knew saving her was a low if not an impossible possibility." 

"And yet you still tried," Rey walked over to him, gently touching his cheek with a sad smile as the hatred burned even brighter at his tear filled eyes. "And, for that, we're still saviors. She's in God's arms now, there's nothing we can do but rejoice for her."

"...Why couldn't you kill him?" Finn whispered and Rey's eyes flashed angrily as she took her hand back at lightning speed.

"Because I'm a coward--"

"No," Finn grabbed her wrist gently and Rey clenched her jaw. "No, you've never been a coward. Never once in your life have you been a coward, Rey, so...why couldn't you kill him? What stopped you?"

_I don't know_ , her mind whispered as she reeled in regret. _I don't know. I don't know._

"It's kind of hard not to be afraid when the ruby irises of Satan are staring you down--"

"Stop using fear as an excuse--"

"An excuse?" Rey scoffed as she yanked her wrist back, her eyes burning brightly into his as she barked out a loud laugh of disbelief. "An _excuse_? You must be joking! Are you actually thinking that I'm lying to your face by telling you I was, for once in my life, afraid? Fear is common, you would know. We all know. We're _human_ , and humans feel fear on a level larger to all other creatures."

"It just doesn't make sense," Finn spoke softly and Rey's expression softened as she gently touched his arm.

"Do you honestly think I'd lie in here?" Rey whispered and Finn's face twisted in guilt as he looked towards the cross.

"No," Finn choked out. "N-no, I'm--Rey, I'm sorry--"

"It's okay to be paranoid," Rey nodded hurriedly. "But not towards me. Never towards me."

Finn hesitated for a moment before reaching out and touching her cheek, worry etched on his face as he looked her over. "Rey, you look ill. You're as pale as a ghost, are you alright? Did you become sick from the chilled rain?"

"Ah," Rey smiled tiredly as she shook her head. "No, I don't believe I'm sick. I think I'm just...tired. Tired and full of regret, which I suppose is a sickness all on its own."

"Then I suppose you should rest!" Father Skywalker spoke up from the entrance of the chapel and both Finn and Rey turned their head towards him.

"Finn, if you could so kindly leave us?" He smiled softly in a warm manner. It was a smile Rey had found comfort in all of her life, and it was the comfort she needed the most right now.

"Of course, Father," Finn smiled before stepping away from Rey and turning around, walking out of the chapel and leaving Rey alone with the priest.

Rey stood there for a moment before running at him, throwing herself into his arms to which he held her tightly in a way that only a parent could to their child. She let out a small sob and he instantly hushed her, cradling the back of her head as he closed his eyes with a smile.

"Why do you weep for the fallen, Rey? She's with God now, there's no need to cry for such a joyous occasion," He chortled quietly and Rey squeezed her eyes shut as she clung to him tighter.

"Because it's my fault--"

"Ah, but it isn't. Not even in the slightest!" He pulled back with the same smile as reopened his eyes, clapping his hands on her shoulders to which Rey jumped ever so slightly with wide eyes. 

"It is a shame, a tragedy, but you all know that death is a price you may pay when you go on outings. Such is the way of doing the Lord's work. We must not grieve more than we need to because she died with honor."

"...Father," Rey whispered as she put her hands behind her back, straightening up her back as she did so. He never stopped smiling, not even for a second, and Rey knew that that smile was reserved for her and her alone. It was the smile of a parent gazing upon their child.

"Yes, Rey?"

_He said I smelled dead. How could I possibly ask you why he would such a terrifying thing...?_ "...I think we should bury her under the cherry tree," Rey swallowed silently as she diverted from the real thing she wished to say. "Don't you?"

"How funny, Rose said the same exact thing," He sighed softly as his blue eyes glinted in the candlelight of the holy room, running a hand through his grey hair as his eyes went towards the cross before looking back at her. "Is that all you wanted to say?"

His blue eyes were normally that of the sky. They were of light, of the day, but in this moment, they were dark with an internal storm and Rey feared that he was suspicious of her as well. 

Panic began to eat away at her like parasites the longer she looked into his eyes in the deafening silence, and, for once, she did not revel in the silence. She feared it.

"No," Rey shook her head and the day returned to his eyes as he held his hand out towards her and she instantly took it as she gave him a small smile.

"Then let's go get you some food, yes? Jessika has made the most amazing roast for dinner."

\------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo laid in bed with three human corpses laying around him at the castle he had taken home in on the outskirts of England, his eyes glued to the ceiling as he inhaled slowly.

_"And if I say no?"_

"You won't," Kylo whispered as he closed his eyes, taking one of the dead girl's hands and placing it on his chest before placing his hand over it. A gesture of comfort, he supposed. "I'll make sure you won't, Rey."

"Um," Kylo's eyes flew open as he heard a voice at his open door. "Lord Ren?"

"Mitaka," Kylo ground out as he turned his head towards the door, seeing the nervous vampire male standing there with his hands twiddling together anxiously. "What is it?"

"You, um, you asked me to look in the elder books for anything relating to a human smelling like us...but I--I couldn't find anything, and I sincerely apologize." Mitaka cleared his throat and Kylo paused before sitting up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there's no records in the elder books of a human smelling like us--"

"You're telling me I basically found a unicorn?" Kylo scoffed and Mitaka hesitated before nodding hastily.

"...Oh, this is wonderful!" Kylo erupted into laughter and Mitaka flinched before laughing nervously in a loud tone. 

"Y-yes! Yes, yes, yes, uh--uh, yes! She's a, um, unicorn! Although...why'd you choose that mythical creature out of all--" Mitaka cut himself off at Kylo's glare before laughing again. "Unicorns are great! You got the horn on the horse, and they...attract virgins! Great mythical creature choice, my Lord! I couldn't have chosen one better!"

"You do realize that's a saying, right?" Kylo deadpanned and Mitaka opened his mouth to speak before pausing for a few brief moments and then closing his mouth as he nodded.

"God, I miss Hux," Kylo groaned as he laid back down, throwing an arm over his eyes as he groaned even louder. "I hated him to no ends, but at least he didn't act like a nervous wreck each time he was around me."

"Oh," Mitaka spoke softly as he looked down at the name of his late maker. "Yes, I miss him as well."

Kylo took his arm off of his eyes before getting up, Mitaka looking away as he pulled on his pants which had been discarded on the floor.

"There really was nothing in the elder books about a human smelling like us?" Kylo asked and Mitaka shook his head.

"No, there really wasn't. I looked through all of them, like you asked, but I found nothing." Mitaka paused before continuing, "I mean, of course, if a human has been marked by us, they smell like the vampire that marked them, but that's it. And you said she had a unique scent, didn't you?"

"Incredibly unique," Kylo muttered as he buttoned up his shirt. "She smelled of a rose in an icy hibernation. She smelled alive and dead all at once, and I've never smelled anything like it in all of my four centuries. It's...almost impossible to place."

"Wait," Mitaka looked back over at him to see Kylo fully dressed. "You didn't tell me she smelled alive as well."

"It's like...half dead," Kylo walked over to the desk in his room, touching her dagger which lay upon it before hissing as his skin started to smoke at the mere touch of it. He yanked his hand away, laughing breathlessly as he watched his skin heal. "But still very much more dead than alive. It's almost as if she's taken half of us into her."

"But--but that's impossible--"

"Are you calling me a liar?" Kylo smiled as he looked over at him and Mitaka quickly shook his head with fright shining in his dark eyes. Oh, how easy it was to frighten him with just a single glance.

"N-no, I'm--"

"Well, since you've been so incompetent," Kylo sighed as he walked towards the door, pushing past him in a harsh manner with an even harsher smile. "I suppose I'll just go ask Snoke."

"...Okay," Mitaka whispered as he looked away with sad eyes. "I'll just clean up the bodies for you."

Kylo chuckled as he walked down the hall, making his way down to the lower floor of the abandoned castle.

Kylo walked down the steps to Snoke's chambers, humming quietly with a hop in his step as he did so.

"My maker," Kylo knocked on the open door as he saw the decrepit, scarred creature called Snoke sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, his icy blue eyes scanning the large book in his hands before they flicked up to meet Kylo's. "May I trouble for a moment?"

"Ah, Ren," The creature slowly grinned. "My boy, what a pleasure it is to be in your presence. Yes, come, come!" He waved him over and Kylo instantly walked in.

"I'd like to ask you a question, if that's alright with you?"

"Yes, yes! Sit, sit!" Snoke grinned wider as he pointed down to the floor in front of him, Kylo internally deadpanning as he sat on the floor.

It was almost an insult to make him sit on the floor with his status, but he knew better than to go against his maker. After all, he made him, and therefore he was superior. Although, on some days, Kylo thought of overthrowing him and taking his place as King, but he always talked himself out of it. He'd die, and, while he was immortal, death was his largest fear.

Even the undead, the feared fanged immortal, fear the unknown.

"What is this question you have for me, my boy?"

"Is it possible for a human to smell like us without being marked by one of us? For a human to have their own distinct scent of cold death?" Kylo asked and Snoke's face instantly turned sour.

"Why are you asking such a thing?" Snoke bit out and Kylo tensed up.

"I'm just...curious. It's just simple curiosity, my maker." Kylo spoke calmly and Snoke hummed quietly as he tilted Kylo's chin up with one finger.

"No, Ren." Snoke answered flatly. "No, it is not possible. No human can smell like us. They are _human_."

"...Of course," Kylo knew that Snoke wouldn't tell him anything, but he wasn't exactly sure as to why. "I apologize for my intrusion."

"Such a stupid question for my brightest progeny," Snoke chuckled as he looked back down at his book as he took his hand back. "You even have our true eyes, and yet you ask me this stupid, stupid question. Don't be like Hux and Phasma, Ren. Look where it got them."

Kylo internally winced at the sound of his dead fledgling siblings' names being spoken with such venom as he stood up.

"I'm not like them." Kylo spoke quietly as he turned around and walked back towards the door.

"Oh, I know," Snoke chuckled once more as Kylo walked out the door. "You're better."

Kylo paused before growling quietly and walking back up the stairs.

He'd find out what she was sooner or later, he'd make sure of it. Until then, he'd let it eat at him like a monster starved.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Rey sat on her bed in the dark, with only a single candle as her companion, after dinner, and she looked down at the cross necklace in her hand with a solemn expression as she sat alone in the consuming silence of regret.

" _Oh, regret,_ " her ghosts hissed, " _Oh, the torturous regret you sit in while wallowing through our memories. How do you live with yourself?_ "

"I don't," Rey whispered to the dark as the storm continued to rage outside. It had started up again right after dinner, and she felt as if it was God mourning right along with her. "I'm pretty sure I died the moment I met...him."

" _How could you be dead if you do not walk along with us?_ " They hissed and Rey closed her eyes as she bit back a sob.

She heard her door open, heard the familiar footsteps of Finn, and she didn't open her eyes until she felt him sit down beside her.

"This guilt will eat at you whole if you continue this act," Finn sighed and Rey glanced over at him as lightning lit up the room for a brief second. "And I'll sure miss you if you turn into a shell of nothingness."

"I feel like nothing," Rey breathed shakily as she felt tears spring to her eyes, her hand trembling as she closed it tightly around the necklace. "I could've saved her--"

"No, O' reckless one," Finn nudged her shoulder with a sad smile as he turned his head towards her. "You couldn't. But you tried, and that's all that matters."

"Then why does it hurt?" Rey choked out as she rested her head against his shoulder, Finn putting his arm around her shoulders as he inhaled slowly.

"It always hurts," Finn exhaled before closing his eyes. "Loss is like...a sea."

"A sea?" Rey sniffled and Finn nodded as he opened his eyes.

"You do not feel its waves crash against you until you hear the news, until you witness it with your eyes, or until it slaps you in the face with the might of God," Finn laughed sadly before continuing, "And, sometimes, you try to run further into its sea, only to drown yourself completely in its blackening abyss of smothering shadows."

Rey stayed silent as she listened, leaning into him as she let herself fall into his comforting yet painful words of truth.

"And, yes, you may thrash and fight against its currents, but that only pulls you in deeper and deeper until there is nothing left of you but a shell filled with its inky water...in this moment, you're thrashing, and that's a perfectly normal response."

"It is?" Rey asked and Finn nodded as he looked down at her.

"It is, and you can mourn as long as you need to...but you can't let its waters fill you. Yes, she died for our cause, but that doesn't mean we can't be sad. Paige was...Paige was a light among darkness, and her light will continue to dance in our shadows."

"You're so painfully optimistic," Rey laughed, a genuine laugh, and Finn sighed in relief at the sound of it.

"Do you wish to spend the night alone, or would you like to sleep on the floor in Poe and I's room?"

"Oh, how scandalous--"

"No, no, I said the floor," Finn laughed loudly and Rey pulled back to look at him. She gently touched his cheek, looking at his very soul as she smiled. This man was like her brother, the sibling she wished she always had, and she was almost certain he felt the same way about her.

"Rey," Finn spoke in a tone softer than satin, and Rey simply smiled as she let her hand fall from his face.

"I'll be fine on my own, don't worry about me. You told me the thing I needed to hear the most."

"And what was that?"

"That it's okay to be sad." Rey smiled wider as a couple tears slid down her cheeks and Finn wiped them away as he nodded slowly with sympathy shining in his eyes.

"Of course it is," He smiled with the warmth of Apollo. "And you should remember this. Always. No matter what Father says."

"Yeah, well," Rey laughed as she looked away. "He's not wrong about how we should be happy about her being with God--"

"But we're allowed to be sad, too." Finn cut her and she looked back at him before nodding.

He left after that, and Rey opened her hand to look back down at the necklace.

She wouldn't let Ren break her, just like she had decided earlier.

And she _would_ kill him.

Even if there was a small part of that her that strangely screamed at her not to.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Rey had awoken before the sun to study as much as she could about Kylo Ren.

She already knew so much about him, of course, but seeing him in person...well, that was an entirely different story that she had already told herself a vast amount of times in her mind since she encountered him.

A little more information couldn't hurt, of course, and so she had awoken and headed down to the underground of the cathedral and into Father Skywalker's private library.

It was a large, dusty room of sorts, and Rey always seemed to sneeze at certain points when she was down there. It was irksome at best, but she ignored it as best as she could. After all, she needed new information if she was to encounter him again, and she had a sinking feeling that he'd be searching for her high and low at every chance he could get.

She walked down the cracked stone steps, hugging her shawl tighter around her as she descended into the dark with only a single candle (that she had brought with her) as her companion. Light was always a good companion to have.

Her footsteps barely made a sound, Rey going lower and lower until she found herself in the room.

She instantly placed the candle stick on the large wooden table, going over to the bookshelves and taking out each and every tattered, yellowed paged book, which was about three, on Kylo Ren that there was in her arms.

The books had been passed down from priest to priest for four centuries now, as Father Skywalker had told her, and Rey was always mesmerized by the incredible detailing each book held. The calligraphy was phenomenal, the information astounding, and she was almost positive that she had read every book in there at least ten times.

But she wanted to see if there was one singular thing she possibly could've missed that could help her understand why he was the way he was.

She flipped open book after book, reading each page throughly, and by late dawn, she groaned loudly in frustration as she had found nothing new.

"Born in 1437 to Leia Organa and Han Solo as Ben Solo, turned in 1466 by Snoke and made into Kylo Ren, blah, blah, blah...murdered both of his parents days after being turned...red eyes, demonic strength and speed compared to others...there's nothing new, and I honestly don't know what I expected! New information won't just magically appear on the pages!" Rey hissed out as she gently slammed the book shut, huffing out a breath and watching the dust fly from the leather bound cover.

She pressed her lips together tightly as she placed her palms on the table, sighing loudly as she closed her eyes and let herself stand alone with her thoughts in the still quiet. 

"I just...want to know why he thinks I smell dead, and I don't even know why I'm looking up information on him that I already know when I know that won't even help my cause. Perhaps it's because I'm trying to study him? Even though I've studied him for years? Lord, this is confusing!" Rey bit out before sighing again as she opened her eyes.

She didn't know how, or why, but a lone book laying on the very end of the shelf caught her eye and Rey was almost positive she had never seen it's strikingly bright red leather bound cover before.

"...Oh, hello," Rey muttered as she walked over to it, gently picking it up and opening it only for her nose to scrunch up as she flipped a few pages and each page aroused her interest more and more.

"Who's Palpatine...?" Rey whispered as she continued to look through the pages, the only sound in the room that of her steady breathing and her fingers turning the pages oh so delicately. 

Horrifying. Hideous. Monstrous. Abomination. Defiler. Murderer. All of this words jumped out at her, wrapping themselves around her brain like a barbed metal wire, and she paused on a singular page that almost whispered at her to look closer.

"Ancient...elite...one of the first?" Rey's eyes widened as she felt her heart still for a moment before it began to thump excitedly. "Why weren't we taught about him?"

Why weren't they taught about him? They weren't even taught about ancients that much, now that she thought about it. She knew what an ancient was, but she had no names or faces to place them. Except for Snoke, but he wasn't exactly considered an _ancient_ ancient.

This Palpatine wasn't just described as an ancient, no, he was described as an _elite_ , and Rey wasn't even sure what that even entailed. 

She supposed it was because he was one of the first, which was an oddity of a thing to discover all on its own, but the things she was reading about him...oh, the things she was reading about him. 

There were mentions of Vader, a vampire she barely knew anything but the basics about, the original hunters known as the 'Jedi', and of--

That was Leia's name.

"Leia Organa was the child of Vader...? Wait, no, that can't be right," Rey gave a tiny shake of her head as she tensed up. "Vampires can't have children--unless...she was conceived when Vader was still human? This Amidala person was her mother, obviously, and it would make sense if Leia was conceived when Vader was still human, but...that would mean..."

And then it hit her. Kylo Ren was a descendant of Vader, and it made sense as to why he had red eyes now. 

Lord Vader was a megalomaniac, a titan who ruled for twenty-three years on the bloodied throne of the undead, until he died of mysterious circumstances and his ashes were found among the remains of a large bonfire in 1436. No one was sure who had killed him, as it wasn't in the books, but someone had tracked him down and ended his tyranny.

Rey had always assumed it a Jedi, as that would make the most sense, but once again, there was nothing in the books that suggested it.

"Rey," Rey jumped as she heard Father Skywalker say her name, the book falling from her hands and landing with a loud ' _thud_ ' onto the stone flooring. 

"What are you doing?"

"I--I was just reading--"

"That book is forbidden."

"I-I didn't know, I sincerely apologize--" 

"...It's alright," The older man sighed as he walked over, picking the book up and frowning down at it as the candlelight danced on his features. "If I was to have anyone know about this, I would want it to be you, anyways."

"Why is it forbidden?" Rey asked and he paused before inhaling sharply and placing the book back on the shelf.

"Because Palpatine is long dead, there's no need for any of you to learn about him. There's no need to...indulge in that certain part of vampire history."

"But he turned Vader, it says so right in the book," Rey instantly noticed how Father Skywalker tensed up at that, his blue eyes greying as he glanced over at her. "And Kylo Ren is related to Vader! I think that's extremely useful information--"

"It isn't." He bit out icily and Rey felt a chill caress her spine as he narrowed his eyes. "It really isn't, Rey. You and the others were only taught so much about Vader because that part of vampire history, just like Palpatine, is not needed to be spoken."

"But Leia--"

"Was conceived when Vader was still human, and was born to Queen Amidala. That's all you need to know, alright? She was human, you can...you can trust me on that," He looked down at the book before snatching it up and turning to walk back towards the stairs.

"But I'm so confused," Rey whispered and he froze in his steps.

"Why does it not need to be spoken about...?"

"...Because it just doesn't. And you're not to mention what you've read to anyone, do you understand?" He spoke lowly before disappearing back up the stairs, and Rey stood there in the dim lighted darkness as she stared at where he had vanished.

It was almost too confusing as to why he had reacted in that way, as he had never used such an icy tone with her, and something told her that there were secrets being kept.

And Rey, ever the reckless one, desperately wanted to know what those secrets were.

\---------------------------------------------------------

"You look exhausted," Finn spoke up at the breakfast table as Rey stirred her spoon around in her oatmeal with a bored expression. "Are you alright?"

 _No._ "Mhm," Rey looked up at him with a tight smile before looking back down. "I'm great."

"I call nonsense," Poe scoffed and all traces of her smile had vanished; a ghost coming and going on her lips.

"Is it the nightmares again, Rey?" Jessika frowned as she tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, and Rose glanced up from her plate to look over at Rey.

"No," Rey shook her head as she gently let go of the spoon, looking up at Jessika as she gave her a fake smile that looked unbelievably real. "No, Jess, I'm okay. No nightmares for me."

"Oh," Jessika smiled tiredly as she nodded. "Good, that's good. We all know they were really bad last year when you turned eighteen, but I suppose turning nineteen had made them magically vanish. Some things truly do vanish with time, don't they?"

"Yeah, I guess they do." _I just want to go back to my room. I'm not even hungry, I just want to go back to my room._

"...Hey, Rey, why don't you go get some sleep?" Finn spoke up and Rey looked at him before giving him a tired smile and nodding.

He could always tell when she didn't want to be somewhere, and he was letting her escape to her room just like she wanted.

She instantly left the dining hall, rushing to her room and slamming her door behind her before letting out a loud exhale as she closed her eyes. She pressed her back up against the door, letting herself slowly slide to the floor, and her hand absentmindedly went up to her necklace as she slowly let herself fall into a dream.

\---------------------------------------------------------

_Her eyes fluttered open and she found herself on her back on a large silk bed with Kylo looming over her, his crimson gaze staring down at her with him settled between her thighs._

_"No," Rey hissed out and Kylo scoffed with a smile but otherwise stayed silent as he continued to stare down at her with his hands planted firmly on the bed._

_"Get off of me, Ren--"_

_"How odd that even in your dreams, you sleep," Kylo smiled in a manner much too warm for that one of the dead. "Do you not get enough sleep in the real world so you sleep in your dreams as well?"_

_"I wasn't--"_

_"I've been staring down at you for ten minutes," Kylo chuckled. "So, yes, you were. I must say, it's mesmerizing to watch a person who breathes sleep. Your chest rises up and down with this life I haven't had for centuries, and your heartbeat," He placed his hand on her chest and Rey felt as if electricity had touched her. "Is so slow when you sleep. Almost invisible."_

_"Why didn't you visit in my last dream?" Rey suddenly flipped them over so she was on top, Kylo purring loudly as he slid his gloved hands up her thighs and under the sheer white nightgown he had undoubtedly manifested on her._

_"I wasn't asleep then, why? Did you miss me, huntress?" Kylo grinned with fangs and Rey growled quietly as she narrowed her eyes._

_"I know something about you now," Rey grabbed his wrists and Kylo purred even louder as dark lust clouded his bright eyes. "Why you are the way you are; why you have red eyes."_

_"And what did you learn?" His tone was much too excited for her taste._

_"That you're Vader's grandchild," Rey hissed out venomously and Kylo paused before laughing._

_"That's it? That's what you_ just _learned? Oh! Oh, Rey, what is your elusive priest teaching you? This is known news amongst my kind, the most common of knowledge! It's why Snoke chose me! How could you have possibly not known this?"_

_Rey's grip on his wrists loosened as her shoulders slumped down, her body relaxing as she looked away with an almost sense of betrayal in her eyes._

_Common knowledge. A thing that was forbidden to her and the other hunters was forbidden, but common knowledge to the vampires. What else was common knowledge to them that was forbidden to her?_

_"I thought I knew your whole story," Rey whispered as she looked back down at him. "You were born to the only child of Vader, Leia Organa, and to Han Solo in 1437, turned in 1466, and you let them both die right in front of you as you were the one who killed them--"_

_"The only child?" Kylo furrowed his brows. "She wasn't the only child, Rey. Who told you that? She had a twin. He was my uncle."_

_"Ha! What a lie! My Father wouldn't lie to me!" Rey sneered and Kylo stared at her in confusion. "Father Skywalker would never--"_

_"Oh," A look of realization dawned on Kylo's face before he burst into loud laughter. "Oh! Oh, wow, I'm impressed! How he's still alive after all these years, I'll never know, but wow! Luke is your Father! He's the elusive priest that's been teaching hunters and sending them after me for the last four and a half centuries! And here my kind thought it was a line of priests!" Kylo laughed harder and Rey's face fell._

_"He--you're lying," Rey felt as if she was falling. "Father Skywalker is human--"_

_"Perhaps he found a concoction that has made him immortal, but yes, you're right. He's still human, he must be because if he were my kind, you would know, but Luke Skywalker is four hundred and eighty years old." Kylo's eyes gleamed excitedly with this new information._

_Rey swayed for a moment as nausea overtook her, the brunette getting off of the bed and stumbling a few steps before falling to her hands and knees as she hung her head with wide, frantic eyes._

_"You're lying," Rey breathed shakily and Kylo was suddenly standing in front of her._

_"No, Rey," Kylo knelt down and tilted her chin up. "I'm telling the truth. Luke Skywalker and Leia Skywalker were born to Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala in 1413. I'm assuming he never told you Vader's real name because he wanted to conceal his true roots from you. He even changed my mother's last name to deceive you."_

_"T-the books just say Vader, I don't--I don't understand--"_

_"My poor huntress," Kylo frowned as he traced her jaw with his index finger. "Your heart breaks with such devastating truth, doesn't it? It hurts to know that the man who taught you is yet just a stranger you never truly knew until this moment."_

_She wasn't going to cry. She couldn't, she couldn't show weakness to this demon again. So, instead, she looked up at him with fiery, hate filled eyes that equaled to that of the red hot gates of Hell._

_"Even if what you say is true," Rey grit out and Kylo's eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he tilted his head to the side. "I refuse to believe a man who lost himself from God."_

_"You think I'm lost? No, Rey, I've been found."_

_"And I believe that a man who does not believe he is lost, has already been lost for quite some time." Rey forced herself to smirk and Kylo stared at her before standing up._

_"It's almost cute how you still try to act tough when all you want to do is cry...but I think I'll settle for 'pathetic' just this one time to get my point across," Kylo leered down at her, and, oh, that was it for her to feel the hatred infect her all over again. "It's pathetic, Rey."_

_"You think me pathetic?" Rey stood up and Kylo looked at her with a blank expression. "And yet you wish to make me yours? Do you collect pathetic things, is that it?"_

_"It's your humanity that makes you pathetic," Kylo spoke in such a lone tone that it sent a shiver down her spine. "And I plan on relieving you of it very, very soon."_

_"Only in Hell will I let you do anything to me--"_

_"Oh, Rey," Kylo crooned as he touched her cheek delicately. "You are in Hell."_

_She attempted to fight him then, but he was too fast. He turned her around, holding her tightly from behind as he gripped her wrists and pressed her arms down on her chest in a crossed formation. She left out a scream as she tried to break free, but he only laughed as his grip tightened._

_"Goodness! You're a strong little thing, aren't you? I'm actually having to hold you with all my strength!"_

_"Let me the fuck go!"_

_"Isn't cursing a sin, Rey? Dear, oh, dear, what would your God say about you dropping a word like that out of your delicate little mouth?" Kylo cooed and Rey screamed in anguish as she tried to pull forward once more, her body writhing as she screamed yet again._

_But she stopped the second she felt the tips of his fangs press against her neck, her body jolting as her eyes went wide with terror._

_"Will you behave?" Kylo breathed against her neck and Rey swallowed thickly as she squeezed her eyes shut._

_"P-please leave me alone," Rey choked out and Kylo pulled his head up slowly. "I-I don't know why you think I'm special, but I'm not. I'm not."_

_"But you are," Kylo sighed beside her ear. "You're everything."_

_"No, I'm nothing but the air--"_

_"You say you're the air, but you're so much more than that," Kylo grinned as he continued to speak by her ear. "You're the smoke from a fire that's finally prepared to consume everything in its righteous path. You, Rey, are your own God. Just like I am mine."_

_"That's...heresy..." Rey spoke in a frightened tone as her eyes flew open only for Kylo to coo in response._

_"Aren't heretics the ones that have the most fun, darling? Haven't I said this before?" Kylo's tone was fierce with a truth that only prophets could speak of._

_"After all," She was falling into his voice, plummeting into the silk of his tone. "They are the ones that raise the most delicious hell, isn't that right?"_

_No. No, she wouldn't give in. In a burst of strength, she escaped from his arms and ran out of his room, and Kylo simply watched her go as their surroundings turned to an inky black._

_"You can't run from the truth!" Kylo called out to her before laughing wildly._

Rey woke up sobbing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [link text](https://drownedoutstars.tumblr.com/post/616462645482160128/am-i-obsessed-with-the-dynamic-of-vampire-hunterl)
> 
> Moodboards because I'm aesthetic trash

Later that evening, Rey finally left her room, only to walk into the chapel to sit in the silence like she did almost every day.

But, instead, she paused by a pew as her eyes darted to the cross. 

Her hand went up to her necklace, and, for a strange split second, the metal felt acidic against her palm.

_"He doesn't even care about you, so why do you parade around a symbol of a deity that doesn't even care that you exist?"_

She hissed loudly as she gripped the back of a pew until an ear splitting crack filled the room and dove it into silence.

Rey slowly looked down to see that she had cracked the wood, and the moment she let it go, it split and a chunk of the wood fell to the ground.

She froze for a moment before letting out a trembling breath. "...Fuck."

After that incident in the chapel, and the 'dream', she barely slept or ate for a week.

Something was happening to her, some kind of change that had been ignited by Kylo's very presence presenting itself to her, and he was right. She was in Hell.

She was twisting in the fires; screaming as they licked her skin and marred her flesh with the sins he had brought upon her simply by speaking to her. She was locked in a red hot bird cage above a bonfire, burning and burning until nothing was left but a permanent scream, and Rey felt as if she'd be stuck in this state of pain for the rest of her days.

When she did eat, it was only in small portions, and she found herself vomiting the food up soon after eating it. 

Water didn't soothe the strange burning in her throat, and she normally found herself silently crying in her room as she begged God and his Son to stop the pain and free her from whatever sin she had done to deserve this.

But she had done well in hiding it from her fellow peers and from Father Skywalker.

Each time they were around, she was all smiles and laughter, all sweetness and honey, and she had easily fooled them into thinking she was alright. They didn't know she was in pain, or that she wasn't sleeping and that she was gravely ill, and for a week, the world was fine in their eyes.

But, with each day, Rey was getting sicker and sicker. And, on the eighth day of her internal hell, when it came time for her to go on a hunt, she went willingly but with a sluggish mind and slightly blurred vision.

"Rey," Kaydel, who had come back from her visit to Ireland three days back, whispered over to her as they stood behind an old brick building. "You take the woman, I'll take the man."

"Ha," Rey barked out a soft laugh as her eyelashes fluttered for a moment before she regained her healthy façade. "That's fine with me."

Kaydel took off and Rey stood there for a moment before running in the opposite direction and suddenly halting as she saw the vampire woman on top of a roof crouched down.

"You smell sick," The woman grinned as she spoke in a thick accent and Rey's grip on her dagger (this one onyx) tightened as she glared up at her. "Almost dead."

"Is that right?" Rey huffed before jumping and grabbing onto the roof, pulling herself up and the woman instantly stood up.

"How did you--"

"Please stop talking," Rey sighed as she stood up, fighting the urge to close her eyes and collapse as she did so.

"...What are--"

"I can take it from here." Kylo seemingly manifested out of nowhere and Rey nearly sobbed as she fell to her hands and knees, tears springing to her eyes unwillingly as the dagger slipped from her hands.

The woman quickly vanished, and Kylo crouched down in front of Rey. He tilted her chin up, locking his eyes with hers as he inhaled sharply.

"You're sick."

"I'm not," Rey bit out hoarsely as she glared angrily at him. "I'm perfectly fine."

His eyes softened as his gloved hand caressed her cheek, and Rey had to fight herself not to lean into the cool touch. 

"You're burning up, Rey," Kylo murmured and Rey squeezed her eyes shut as she let out a loud, shaky exhale.

"How could you let yourself get this ill?" Kylo spoke with wide eyes before standing up and pulling Rey up to her feet. He held her nearly limp body in his arms and she stared up at him and shock overtook her as she saw fear shining in his eyes.

"You're dying," He whispered in an almost horrified tone and Rey paused before laughing bitterly and looking to the side. 

"Am I?" Rey laughed again and Kylo only stared down at her before doing something that would both horrify and excite her.

He turned her face towards his before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers, Rey's eyes going wide as she felt a warmth enter her mouth as she stared up at the night sky unblinking.

It felt like all sin had pressed its lips to hers as he did, something inside of her exploding as her eyes finally fluttered closed after a moment and she found herself, to her horror, kissing back as she cupped his cheek with her hand.

He pulled back after a moment and swiped his thumb across the corner of her mouth to clean up the blood that had trickled down and Rey looked up at him with dazed, frightened eyes as she felt herself feeling instantly better.

"What have you done to me?" Rey whispered in terror and Kylo exhaled with a smile before pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes.

"What were you doing to yourself? I healed you. Did you forget that vampire blood has healing properties?" Kylo chuckled quietly before his eyes flew open as he felt Kaydel's presence just around the corner.

"Rey," Kylo pulled back as Rey still stared up at him in terror, her hand falling from his cheek as she exhaled quickly. "Join me. Come with me."

"...Are you out of your mind?" Rey scoffed as she felt her strength return as the fear melted away into rage. She pushed him away from her, leaning down and picking up her dagger as she glared at him with unforgiving eyes.

"I will _never_ join you, Ren."

"...I don't want to have to kill you," Kylo frowned as he took a step back. "I don't want to destroy you, Rey. Just take my hand, come with me. That's all I'll ever ask of you. I'll give you the stars, the galaxy, whatever your heart desires...so just take my hand. Please."

Rey hesitated for a moment as she stared at him, her eyes growing soft for a split second before growing hard. "I don't make deals with the devil, Ren. I guess you were wrong about me not saying no, huh?"

"So be it." Kylo growled loudly before rushing forward and knocking Rey onto her back, to which she sliced his cheek as her back hit the roof.

She rolled him over so she was on top, watching his cheek heal as he snarled up at her.

But his eyes shone with hurt, not malice. There was anger, yes, but not hatred. She paused for a moment before she heard Kaydel shout her name, Rey turning her head towards the sound only for Kylo to grab her wrist and she was suddenly dangling off the building.

"Why would you make me do this?" Kylo asked in a pained tone and Rey looked up at him without fear.

He obviously didn't know she'd been dropped off of a building numerous times and had been perfectly fine.

"Why would you become obsessed with a woman of God?" Rey smirked and Kylo narrowed his eyes as his grip on her wrist loosened, her body dropping ever so slightly and Kaydel screamed.

"Why wouldn't you just say yes, Rey?! Fucking-- _goddammit_!" Kylo screamed as one of Kaydel's bullets hit him in the shoulder, and he screamed again as it caused him to drop Rey.

As she fell, snow began to descend from the heavens, and she exhaled slowly as she closed her eyes and let herself fall.

When you fall off of a high place, for you, it seems as if time slows down. It feels as if the world is dragging on, like time almost doesn't exist, and you overestimate the time it took you to actually fall.

Your life flashes before your eyes, each memory and experience, and all you can do is remember as you fall to your expectant death.

Right before you hit the ground, time resumes.

As Rey hit the ground, both Kaydel and Kylo screamed. Kylo was suddenly gone, almost as if he couldn't bare to stay and look at the thing that he had done, and Kaydel rushed over to Rey as she fell to her knees.

Rey opened her eyes after a moment and Kaydel screamed again only for Rey to groan and sit up as she rubbed the back of her head.

"Ow..."

" _That's it_?! _That's all you have to say_?! ' _Ow_ '?!" Kaydel screeched and Rey glanced over at her before erupting into loud laughter which stunned the blonde into silence.

"Oh, Kaydel, did you see his face? It was almost as if he had killed his reason for living!" Rey laughed again only for Kaydel to stand up and stumble backwards.

"You should be dead," Kaydel shook her head with a horrified expression as she continued to back up. "I-I don't understand, you should be dead...!"

"Yeah, well," Rey sighed as she touched the back of her head again, looking at her gloved hand to see wetness on the black leather. "I think...um...oh, wow..." Rey breathed out as her vision began to blacken, and the last thing she heard was Kaydel screaming yet again as she collapsed back onto the ground like a rag doll. 

\---------------------------------------------------------

She heard familiar, disembodied voices when she awoke.

"Is she okay?!"

"Yes, Finn, she'll be fi--"

"K-Kaydel said she fell off of a ten story building--"

"And aren't we lucky that she survived with just a minor head injury?" Father Skywalker sighed loudly and Rey's eyes fluttered open as she felt a glass of sorts press against her lips.

Her vision was blurred, but the liquid entering her mouth was grassy and bitter all at once. It burned her mouth, her throat, and she fought the urge to scream as she squeezed her eyes shut in agony.

_Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, please? Please?!_ Rey coughed loudly as the glass was pulled from her lips, her back arching as she let out a choked, garbled scream.

"Father, what is--"

"Blue vervain." Father Skywalker bit out and Rey fully screamed louder this time as she gripped at her hair and thrashed around in her bed like a mad woman.

It felt like her veins were on fire, that she was dying from the inside out, and all she could do was scream and cry as she rolled over on her side and curled up.

"...What does vervain do?" Finn asked in horror and Father Skywalker paused before answering.

"It cleans up illnesses, that's all you need to know." He murmured as he placed his hand on Rey's forehead, Rey whining loudly at the warm touch.

She wanted cold. She wanted...she wanted...

"Finn, she needs rest," Father Skywalker looked at Finn and Finn nodded quietly before having to force himself to leave from Rey's side.

"Can you speak, Rey?" He asked and Rey cracked her eyes to look up at him as she panted in pain.

"Alright, then you can just listen," He smiled before taking a syringe off of the small table beside Rey's bed, rolling his sleeve up and holding his arm out before slowly sinking the needle into his vein. 

"You were doing so well for years, you know that? You weren't showing any signs of the cursed illness that had been passed down onto you. You were just this happy child that could do things the other children couldn't, and the moment I saw you at that orphanage, I adopted you because I knew you were special."

He took the needle from his arm before continuing, "But then...he ignited that illness somehow, didn't he? He fed you, correct?" 

"Y-yes..." Rey croaked out and Father Skywalker sighed loudly before gently taking her arm and even more gently sinking the needle into her vein and pushing down the plunger. 

"Then I'm going to help you," He smiled and Rey sobbed in relief as the burning stopped once his blood entered her vein. "And I'll eradicate this illness from you."

""S-something inside me has always been there," Rey whispered as she let her eyes close and body go lax as an almost floating sensation took over her senses. "But now it's awake, and I'm afraid. I don't know what it is, or what to do with it. And I need _help_."

"And that's what I'm doing, my child," He pulled the syringe out and placed a piece of cotton against her arm, not caring about his own small wound for the moment. "I'm helping you."

"Th-thank you," Rey reopened her eyes to smile weakly as tears pricked her eyes, and he nodded as he smoothed her hair back onto her pillow.

"Sleep, Rey. You need it."

She let herself fall asleep to the sound of the wind howling outside her window, but she also could hear Kylo's scream echoing in her ears.


	6. Chapter 6

When she awoke two days later, barely remembering past passing out on the street, she was told that Kylo Ren had gone on a killing spree and had murdered an entire brothel in London.

The papers had chalked it up to some sort of mad man on the loose, some feared that it was the Ripper back with a vengeance, but Rey and the other hunters knew the truth.

And, currently, everyone was staring at her at the breakfast table as she stared down at her porridge.

"...I don't have a single doubt about his obsession; or his desperation to seek me out," Rey spoke in the tone of the dead--silent as a tomb--as she kept her eyes downcast. "But this...the way he reacted to 'killing' me...it's almost as if all of this is my fault for just... _existing_."

"Why is he obsessed with you?" Poe bit out and Kaydel slightly glared over at Rey once he asked the question, but Rose, Jessika and Finn quickly looked down.

"I don't know," Rey closed her eyes as she hung her head. She wouldn't tell them the truth. "I don't know."

"Probably because you're in the process of turning!" Kaydel snapped and Rey froze after her eyes flew open.

"Kaydel, why would you even say something like that?!" Finn barked and Kaydel huffed as she crossed her arms angrily.

"I saw them! The way they were looking at each other, touching each other! She's obviously his whore--"

"Stop it!" Jessika shot out and Rey clenched her jaw as she narrowed her eyes down at her bowl.

"She was _straddling_ him!"

"Rey's not a whore!" Rose practically shouted in a frantic, fast paced tone and Rey inhaled sharply before standing up.

"I take my celibacy seriously, Kaydel," Rey spoke lowly as all eyes were on her. "Unlike you, who laid with a man when we were in France on a mission two years ago."

Kaydel's face twisted in horror and Poe choked loudly on air as Rey announced one of Kaydel's biggest secrets. 

"And don't try to deny it because I walked in on you, and I never lie." Rey turned and walked out of the dining hall, letting out a loud sigh as she heard the familiar footsteps of Finn run after her.

"Hey, hey, don't listen to her--"

"I'm not," Rey looked over at him to see his expression one of frantic panic. "I'm just not hungry."

"You've been asleep for two days, Rey, you need to eat," Finn frowned and Rey paused before smiling.

"Yeah? Do you maybe want to go into town to get pastries?" 

\---------------------------------------------------

"These little lemon tarts will be the death of me," Rey groaned loudly as she took another bite of her bar, the brown paper bag clutched tightly in her hand as Finn laughed loudly in response.

The snow had died down since the night she had fallen asleep, and it was nothing but a calm, serene scene as snow gently fell down and kissed the ground.

Well, besides the bustling commotion in the streets they were walking through, it was serene.

"I don't know, O' reckless one. I'm starting to think that you can't die!" Finn laughed again and Rey looked over at him as she smiled and took yet another bite.

She chewed and swallowed before speaking, "Well, I think I'd be rather sad if I couldn't die. I'd certainly hate watching you die, if that was the case."

"Yeah?" Finn smiled as his hand brushed against hers for a brief moment, but Rey didn't think anything of it. They were walking after all.

"Yes, I would!" Rey exclaimed as she nodded and quickly ate the rest of her lemon bar before holding the bag with both of her hands and looking over and up at him as they continued to walk. 

"I'd be absolutely devastated if I had to watch you die while I live on."

"Would you now?" Finn asked as he continued to look forward and Rey nodded in a much more hurried fashion this time.

"Yes, of course!"

"Well...I hope we die at the same time, then," Finn continued to smile as he popped a tea cake in his mouth and chewing it and swallowing before speaking again. "And I'd very much like to be buried by your side."

"Oh, yes, of course," Rey grinned as she looked back forward. "I'd like to be buried beside you under the willow tree in that great big cemetery a mile away from the church."

"The willow tree?" Finn arched a brow as he nearly halted. "Don't you know the folklore behind willow trees?"

"That they're sinister and are supposed to uproot themselves and stalk poor, traveling souls?" Rey snorted as she shook her head. "Absolute nonsense, is what I say to that! I think willow trees are beautiful."

"How so?"

"Oh," Rey breathed out as she paused in her steps and Finn paused with her as he looked down at her.

"They're mournful," Rey smiled as she looked down while tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "They touch the ground in hope of touching the very earth they were born from. They want to touch their roots, their source of life, for the sole reason of knowing that, yes, they exist. They're the most human tree on this planet."

"...Wow," Finn exhaled with a smile as he continued to look at her. "Only you would call a tree 'human'." 

"But they are!" Rey grinned that brilliant, blinding sunlight grin as she looked back up at him. "They really, truly are!"

"I believe you!" Finn turned towards her. 

"And that's exactly why we're siblings," Rey tilted her head to the side as she grinned at him. "You've always understood me more than the others."

Finn's smile slowly vanished as apology etched itself on his features like a rough sketch. "Rey...I'm really sorry Kaydel called you a who--" He cleared his throat as he found himself unable to say the word. "The 'W' word." 

"You think I care about that?" Rey scoffed loudly as she nudged his shoulder with her own as they started walking once more. "I really don't because I know it's not the truth. I'm not Ren's whore, I've never been Ren's whore, and I don't ever plan to be his whore."

"That's three Hail Mary prayers right there," Finn sighed and Rey pouted as she huffed in defiance.

"Kaydel said it--"

"And she was exceptionally wrong for doing so," Finn pointed out as he traded bags with her. "And I'll be sure to tell Father about it when we go back."

"What about me? Will you tell him I said it three times?" 

"Oh, I think I'll let it slide,"

"You spoil me," Rey chuckled as she pulled a tea cake out of the bag. "You spoil me too much."

"No, I don't think so," Finn gave a small shake of his head as he pulled a lemon bar out. 

"Hey, Finn," Rey paused yet again in the middle of the street. "Do you remember what happened after Kaydel brought me back? I remember bits and pieces, but not all of it. What was that tonic that Father gave me?"

"Um," Finn hummed as he looked up towards the grey sky. "I think it was something with...blue vervain? He said it was to clear out illnesses or something equivalent to that. But..." Finn frowned as his shoulders slumped. "I think you had an allergic reaction to it or something, because you were screaming and thrashing around like it was acid."

"I think I remember pain," Rey nodded slowly as she put the tea cake back in the bag. "But...I don't remember the conversation Father and I had. I just remember being scared." She didn't mention that her chest had been slightly burning since she had awoken, and she wondered if it was the tonic that was still in her system that was making it ache.

Rey inhaled slowly before beginning to walk at a slow pace as Finn followed her closely by her side like he always did and always would.

"Finn, I need to tell you something," Rey spoke in a dead whisper as her small hands clutched the bag in a frightenly tight manner and Finn thought she might rip the bag.

"Yeah? What is it?" Finn asked in an equally quiet manner and Rey's eyes darted up to his.

"On our first meeting, Ren told me I smelled dead...and he's been visiting my dreams ever since--well, except recently. He's been in my dreams twice. Just twice."

Finn nearly fell against the store window they were passing by, his eyes going wide as his hands twitched. "In...your dreams...?"

"Are you completely ignoring the part where he said I smelled _dead_?" Rey hissed out in a whisper and Finn stayed silent and unresponsive for a moment before shaking his head in a tardily fashion.

"No, I just--how could he be invading your dreams...?"

"Some of his blood got in my mouth when I sliced his face," Rey absentmindedly touched her lips as him kissing her flashed in her mind. The sweetness of it, the utter horrid, sinful deliciousness, and Rey found herself spacing out for a moment before continuing, "And I guess because I swallowed it, without meaning to, it means that he can visit me in my dreams. I think--I think there's a lot of things about leeches that we haven't been taught about."

"You're doubting Father's teachings?" Finn's voice dropped an octave and Rey froze as fear suddenly gripped her heart.

"N-no, I just--"

"He wouldn't lie to us." Finn cut her off almost harshly and Rey nodded as she looked away.

But Rey thought otherwise. Why would Kylo lie when everything else he had said was truthful, though blasmephous and dripping with carnal sin? 

"...How old do you think Father Skywalker really is?" Rey whispered out her thoughts without meaning to and Finn gave her a strange look.

"He's fifty-three, Rey. This is common knowledge." Finn arched a brow and Rey slowly nodded even though she didn't agree with him.

He may look fifty-three, but Kylo had said that he was four hundred and eighty. Four. Hundred. And. Eighty.

"Um," Rey swallowed as she looked away. "I think I want to go back, yeah?"

"Oh, you sure?" Finn sounded unlike himself, almost as if his voice was masked by a fake cheeriness. 

_I shouldn't have told him. I just thought...I'd thought he'd understand, that he would bring comfort in this hellish situation, but...it seems as if I've only turned him against me._ "Yes, please." Rey looked down as she fought the urge to cry.

A sudden scent caught her attention and her head whipped up, her pupils blowing wide as her throat constricted and tightened. 

Finn couldn't even stop her if he wanted to when she took off running.

The bag in her hand was dropped, completely forgotten about, and her hair whipped behind her as the tantalizing smell increased as she ran faster and faster.

She halted to a stop when she a woman coughing discreetly into a handkerchief and their eyes met as she pulled the handkerchief back to reveal a splatter of blood against the pure, stark white embroidered cloth.

"Oh, don't worry, dear," The woman laughed as Rey stared down at the handkerchief with wide eyes. "It'll clear up in no time!"

"...Sure, because consumption just magically goes away." Rey murmured as she began to back up before turning and seeing Finn several feet away. He was staring at her in confusion, his brows furrowed, and she shook her head as she glanced away.

_What's...happening to me...?_

\---------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day went by blurred, and all Rey could think about was that the scent of blood on a handkerchief from a woman with consumption had drawn her in like a stray moth to a dancing flame.

She feared that the sickness that plagued her would return, as her throat was already beginning to feel scratchy, and she hugged herself as she walked down the outside corridor of the monastery.

Finn hadn't talked to her since they had gotten back, and Rey was afraid that she had lost the only close friend--practically sibling--because she had trusted him with information that haunted her.

Everything felt slow, like it did when she was falling, and she wondered if it would always feel like this from here on out.

The snow fell heavier than it did early, and as she stepped out onto the white covered ground, she closed her eyes and let the cold envelop her.

She laid down in the snow, looking over to her side after opening her eyes to see Kylo's face staring back at hers with his body laying beside her.

She knew it was an illusion, as he couldn't pass onto holy ground, and she chalked it up to the permanent exhaustion that seemed to cling to her even after sleeping for two days.

"Oh, what delusions of grandeur," Rey breathed out as she touched his face as he remained silent and as still as a marble statue. "How truly cursed I must be if it is you I see instead of God. How the vast unknown gives me a vision of you, I'll never know."

"Does the unknown frighten you?" His phantom whispered and Rey exhaled with a smile as she closed her eyes once more.

"To no ends." She replied, and when she opened her eyes, he was gone. It was just the silence of snow and the emptiness of loneliness.

And she wondered why she wished his phantom hadn't of left as she continued to lay there amidst her silence.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't sit there and tell me that sith eyes don't make the coolest vampire eyes to ever exist
> 
> You just can't

Rey awoke to the feeling of being carried, not even remembering falling asleep outside in the snow, her eyes fluttering open to see Finn looking forward with guilt shining in his eyes.

"Finn?" Rey whispered and Finn inhaled slowly as he nodded hurriedly.

"I didn't tell Father, I didn't--I'm sorry," Finn breathed shakily as he quickly walked to his room. "I'm sorry that I seemed cold. I was just--I don't know how to react to these things, Rey."

"Understandable." Rey breathed out before closing her eyes, letting the calm of sleep wash over her as she sank into the calming ink of her subconscious.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

_As her eyes opened, she knew she wasn't awake._

_There are instances in dreams in where you know you aren't awake, that you are, in fact, asleep. It's a strange sensation, being both tethered to reality and unreality, and so you walk through your dream as cautiously as possible in order to see if certain things point out to you that you wouldn't notice when you're fully immersed in unreality._

_Rey was doing exactly this as she found herself walking out of Finn's room, the outside world dark and almost burnt in her eyes. Each step she took, invisible fire seemed to ashen her footsteps; leaving behind visible boot prints, but she kept her eyes straight forward as something told her to not dare look over her shoulder as she heard odd chittering and the sound of things skittering around like insects on a wall._

_Ash fell from the sky instead of snow, the sky pitch black and no light was seemed to be found anywhere. And yet, she could see. She could see everything._

_She walked to the cathedral at a slow pace, her breathing and heartbeat steady at first but slowly going up as she got nearer and nearer in this dark, ash filled world._

_She pushed open the cathedral doors, her breath shuddered as she saw the inside in complete blackened ruins as if everything had been engulfed by flames._

_"Hell," She murmured as she stepped inside. "This is Hell."_

_She suddenly heard laughter from inside the chapel, her ears recognizing the voice familiar and yet unfamiliar all at once. It sounded both demonic and angelic, an unholy fusion of sweetness and decay, and Rey had to force herself to continue forward as the laughter echoed in her ears._

_The heat grew, the burning air suffocating her skin, and she swallowed thickly as she stifled a pained cough while approaching the chapel doors._

_She wasn't expecting to see what she saw, but when she did, she fell to her knees as her mouth opened in a silent scream._

_There she was, in the nude flesh against the cross, being hungrily ravaged by Kylo on his knees. Her doppelganger moaned loudly as it shifted its leg on Kylo's shoulder with its hands tangled in his hair, his face buried between its thighs as it arched its back and moaned again. His gloved hands were gripping its thighs tightly, soft growls emitting from his throat as he ate it out roughly and hungrily all at once._

_But when it opened its eyes, Rey did scream then._

_The irises were nightmarish red that bled into the white with an almost glowing gold engulfing the pupil. It slowly grinned at her with three pairs of sharp fangs instead of just one, another laugh echoing the room as it stared directly at her._

_"Don't be afraid of who you are," It breathed out as it leaned its head back against the cross once more, Kylo slowly pulling back and glancing over his shoulder at Rey._

_"You are the unknown." Kylo smirked, and Rey screamed louder as the chapel lit up in flames as a flash of a jagged stone throne flashed before her eyes._

Rey bolted up in bed in a cold sweat, a loud cry escaping her lips as her chest heaved erratically. She desperately tried to grab at the sheets, to cling to something of this earth to know that, yes, she was here and not there, but the panic still rose. The fear still escalated.

"I--h-help--" Rey choked out to the empty room as she felt tears stream down her cheeks, her body trembling as she hugged herself tightly and hung her head.

The nightmares were back, and yet these nightmares were significantly worse. Never had she seen herself a vampire, never had she seen Kylo, and never had there been such a level of...hellish _intimacy_.

She never even thought of sex. She was celibate, a child of God, and to see herself doing such a thing in a nightmare...she felt like she was drowning in a sea of something she couldn't describe.

She finally got out of Finn's bed after what felt like an hour, stumbling back to her room in a frightened daze as all sounds but her ragged breathing vanished.

Hell. She had been in Hell. 

She had been in Hell and it was she who was Satan, not Kylo. It was her. Had it always been her...?

She didn't even see Father Skywalker approach her, the older man tilting her chin up as she stopped. She looked up at him with broken, horrified eyes and he stared down at her in an almost emotionless manner before taking her hand and leading her to his quarters.

"Nightmare?" He sighed as they entered his study. He walked her over to a chair, gently sitting her down before going over to a large shelf filled to the brim with odd vials and jars filled with various things she couldn't place.

"Hell," Rey choked out as she squeezed her eyes shut. "I-I was in _Hell_." 

"They're just nightmares, Rey, there's no need to be afraid of them," He smiled as he took a jar of tea bags off of the shelf before disappearing into the next room. 

"It was _Hell_ \--"

"But it wasn't real!" He exclaimed as she heard him scuffle around. "Don't ever be afraid of things that aren't real, for they will control you and take over your life as you know it. To give power to something unrealistic is to make it real in every which way possible."

 _I can't tell him what else I saw. I can't. I cannot bring that shame upon myself. Not in front of Father._ "Are you making more...vervain?"

"No," He laughed as he came back out, sitting in the chair beside her as he clapped a hand on her knee. "You are not ill in this moment, you need not be cleansed. I am simply making lavender-jasmine tea to soothe your nerves."

"Oh, I love that tea," Rey sighed fondly as she leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes and finally letting herself breathe in his warm, comforting presence. "You've made that tea for me since I was young."

"And so I shall continue to do so when you are as old as I am." Father Skywalker chuckled and her eyes flew open at that.

 _Because you can't age_ , her mind whispered but she shoved down her doubt as she sat back up straight. 

"The sun will set soon," His tone dropped as he looked over at her and Rey instantly looked at him as fear once again invaded her system. "And I want you to stay here as the others go out to deal with Ren. They will kill him on their own, fear not, and you shall remain safe and sound within your room. Do you understand?"

"...Yes," _No._ "Yes, I understand."

"Good." He clapped her knee again before standing back up and walking back into the next room. 

Rey instantly stood up and thought about leaving for a moment as an acidic feeling began to set into her very nerves. Was it fear? Discomfort? She didn't know, but it didn't feel good. 

She left before he could even come back into the room, quickly walking to her room as she tried to control her raising heart rate.

They wouldn't survive a fight against him if they even tried. He hadn't used his full strength against her, she knew that, but she also knew that he wouldn't hold back on them. He didn't 'care' about them like he did her, and Rey knew she couldn't let them face him.

No one would be prepared. Not against him.

She realized this would be the one time she went against Father's wishes, but she didn't care. Not now. The situation was too dire to obey.

She paused for a moment before taking off her necklace and storing it in her coat pocket.

Why she did it, she wasn't sure, but when she did, the faint burning in her chest vanished.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

She was waiting for him in an abandoned church on the outskirts of London--which she knew he could enter due to God no longer being there--as she stared up at the decaying wood cross with tired eyes.

She had left even before sunset, and she'd been waiting here for an hour now. It was dark, unreasonably so, but she had brought candles and lit them on the altar so she could have at least some light in the perpetual darkness.

She knew that Finn, Poe, Rose, Jessika and Kaydel were on the other side of the city, searching for him, and that's why she chose to come to a place as far away from them as possible.

He'd find her here. She was counting on it, and she nearly smiled as she heard the doors to the chapel open behind her.

"Oh, what ghost stands before my eyes," Kylo breathed out as he stood several feet away from her and Rey turned around to face him with annoyance written all over her face.

 _Of course he chose to be dramatic. Why am I not surprised._ "Ren--"

"What spectral vision come to haunt me?" He looked as if he was ready to fall to his knees in front of her as he cut her off with a trembling breath.

"I'm not dead, Ren," Rey sighed as they began to circle each other like predatory animals. "So you can stop the dramatics."

"I thought you dead," Kylo spoke with wide eyes as they circled each other. "I couldn't feel you. I just felt excruciating pain, as if you were burning alive, and then...nothing. In our bond, you had died."

"You're slowly killing me," Rey clicked her tongue as she undid the sheath on her hip to take out one of her throwing knives. "If that makes you feel any worse, which I hope it does." 

"How harsh your words are for a man ridden by the guilt of 'killing' you," Kylo scoffed with a bitter smile as they got closer and closer to each other. "I would almost think you didn't care about me."

"What ever could make you think I do?" Rey spat and Kylo slowly grinned with those more than deadly fangs.

"The way you look at me," He reached out to touch her but she quickly smacked his hand away to which he laughed as they both paused in their steps. "The way you react to my very presence. And, of course, not to mention," He chuckled as he took a step closer to her.

"The way you kissed me back."

"Why did it have to be you, the most psychotic, delusional vampire, that became obsessed with me?" Rey huffed as she pulled out one of her knives, completely ignoring the last thing he said, and Kylo's eyes flicked down to it in her hand.

"Why did it have to be you, the most stubborn, bratty huntress, that I became obsessed with?" His eyes darted back up to hers and Rey bit back a loud laugh.

"Touché." She gave him a single nod and Kylo shrugged with a smirk before it all went down.

Who knew that fighting could be so graceful? It felt like a dance to her as she fought him, and by the way he was laughing and grinning, she could tell he thought the same.

Fun. He was having _fun_.

"God, I've missed you!" Kylo laughed again as he easily dodged her, and she found herself freezing as he was suddenly crouching down on the beam above her with a feral grin.

"Ren, what are you--"

"You're just as beautiful from above as you are so below," Kylo purred out and Rey deadpanned as she stared up at him.

"Stop flirting with me." Rey spoke in a flat tone and Kylo clicked his tongue as he looked towards the entrance of the desecrated chapel doors.

"I really thought you dead," He murmured and she could see the not-so-hidden sadness in his eyes even without him looking at her. "I really thought I killed you...I couldn't sleep. All I could do was feed and feed as I tried to fill this... _emptiness_ inside of me,"

The room delved into silence as pain etched on his face as he looked back down at her and, somehow, Rey could feel his pain as if it was her own.

"I felt like I died right along with you, Rey."

Ten words. Ten words and she suddenly felt sympathy for a demon. Ten words that made her drop her knife to the ground and nearly sway on her feet.

"Ren," Rey started before shaking her head and looking away. "Stop it."

"Stop what? The truth?" He was in front of her now, turning her face towards his as he stared down at her with eyes so soft they were that of silk. 

"Stop whatever it is you're doing to me, I can't--I can't take this anymore," Rey fought the urge to choke out a dry sob as she looked up at him with watery eyes. "I want it to _stop_."

"No, Rey," Kylo simply smiled as he shook his head. "You want it to _start_."

Her lower lip began to tremble as tears spilled from her eyes and down her golden cheeks, a breathy exhale escaping her lips as she tried to find the words she wanted to say.

 _"I can't stop thinking about you,"_ she wanted to say. _"I can't stop wanting to see you for some odd, sick reason."_

But, instead, she said: "You don't get to say what I want."

"I don't?" His eyes searched hers while cradling her face in his hands with those sinfully cool gloves that always seemed to soothe her feverish skin. "Even if it's the truth and we both know it?"

"Who's to say you know my truth?"

"Oh, sweetheart," Kylo chuckled darkly as he smirked. "Your truth is my truth. When will you both learn and understand this?"

"I hate you," Rey ground out as she narrowed her eyes, her tears drying as soon as they were wet. "I fucking _hate_ you."

"How funny," Kylo muttered as he leaned down until their lips nearly brushed together. "That's not the energy I get from you at all."

"And--and what energy...do you get...?" His lips were so close. So, so, _so_ close. She felt like her brain was malfunctioning, like she wasn't even her anymore. It was almost as if Kylo had turned into a magnet, and her the metal; she was stuck.

"Infatuation to the highest, carnal degree."

And then he kissed her, and that white hot feeling exploded throughout her just like it did up on the roof as she felt warmth enter her mouth once again like it did on, yet again, the roof.

But this kiss was different, even if his blood was involved.

There was no gentle intention, no softness or sweetness; it was as fiery as Hell below.

She could taste the blood on his lips, in his mouth, and Rey moaned loudly at the taste of it as she grabbed at his coat to try and ground herself.

But he pulled back, and she _whined_.

"You say you hate me," Kylo grinned and she was suddenly shoved up against a wall. He slammed his hands beside her head, trapping her as he grinned wider. "And yet you react like _that_."

Rey's tongue darted out and licked the blood off of her lower lip, his eyes flicking down to it as he inhaled shakily and tensed up. He looked as if he was restraining himself from doing something drastic, something beyond sin, and Rey scoffed with a smile as his eyes remet hers.

"I should be questioning why you're still alive," Kylo growled loudly as he grabbed her chin harshly which caused her to gasp. "I should be questioning why you aren't reacting to the dastardly cold weather as I can see your breath in the air like the ghost I thought you were. But would you like to know what I'm actually questioning, Rey?"

He leaned in closely as he practically glared at her in frustration as he said, "I'm questioning why I haven't marked you as permanently _mine_."

Oh. _Oh._

_Oh, no._

"N-no," Rey shot out shakily as her eyes widened. "No, no, Ren. No."

"It doesn't hurt," The frustration in his eyes melted away as he crooned and tilted her head to the side, his eyes glowing as they fixed themselves on her neck. "I'll make it as painless as possible--in fact, I'm almost positive you'll even enjoy it."

"No, Ren, no--no, no, no, I don't--"

"Hush," Kylo purred as he leaned down to her neck, keeping her head in place as he got closer and closer with his fangs. "As if I'd actually ever hurt you again, Rey. There's no need for this unnecessary fear."

She knew having both his blood and him biting her wouldn't turn her, as he'd have to drain her and then feed her, but the very thought of his fangs in her skin frightened her. Fang marks were permanent, they scarred, and she'd never be able to escape him if he did this.

And she'd be cast out by her fellow hunters. She'd be locked up, put under observation, and most likely would be used as bait to lure Kylo out so they could kill him.

"T-they'll kill me if they see a mark," Rey choked out and Kylo instantly froze above her throat as his eyes widened. "I-I'll be burned once they use me to kill you."

"...Well, I can't let that happen, can I?" He pulled back and gently pulled down her long, black wool coat, moving her blouse to the side so her shoulder was visible.

"But I can't not mark you, Rey," Kylo wrapped his arms around her, an arm around her waist and one behind with his hand on the middle of her back as he pressed her against him. "Not after all we've been through, not with the way we feel about each other."

She stayed silent as she gripped his coat in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt the tips of his fangs press against her shoulder.

And then...

He bit.

Rey cried out loudly as his fangs sank in, hot blood spurting into his mouth, and her eyes flew open as a jolt of hot white electricity coursed through her. Her body felt hot, hotter than normal, and she found herself absentmindedly pressing her hips against his as closely as she could.

 _What...is this...?_ Kylo closed his eyes as he furrowed his brows, holding her tighter as the taste intensified with each pull from her vein. It tasted like heaven, like sweetness, like love, like spice, like honey, like cinnamon.

Like _God_.

Kylo groaned loudly against her shoulder before forcing himself to pull back, only to bury his face in her neck as he let out a soft whine with his eyes still closed. 

"You taste divine," Kylo practically whimpered as Rey's chest heaved erratically. "Oh, God, you taste _divine_."

The sound of multiple footsteps running their way broke the moment, Kylo growling loudly as he yanked back with a feral expression.

"Rey," Kylo ground out lowly as he gently pushed her towards the doors. "Run."

And she did. She ran as fast as she could as she heard her fellow peers' shouts and commotion as they entered through the back door of the chapel, heard the sound of Kylo snarling as a large fight ensued, and tears pricked her eyes as she ran even faster.

Why had she let him bite her? Why had she just stood there and let it happen?

More importantly, why had it felt _good_?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victorian nightgowns are an aesthetic all their own.
> 
> Also, Kylo hears boss music.

She had run all the way back to the monastery, and once she got inside her room, she began to hyperventilate as she frantically paced all around.

She could _feel_ him now.

She had begun to feel his side of the bond almost immediately after taking off, and she had screamed more than once as she felt his pain. 

It was terrifying. It was horrifying. It was... _exhilarating_.

She began to hurriedly undress after yanking off her leather gloves, letting her chest expand as she tore off her tightly laced black corset. She let it fall to the ground before throwing off her coat, taking her hair out of her frazzled bun and letting it fall to her shoulders. Then came the blouse after she tore off her knife sheath, then the leather pants after the boots and stockings, and finally came off the undergarmets.

She ran her hands up her bare arms as she closed her eyes and let her head fall back, the huntress letting out a loud exhale as she relaxed.

Home. He had gotten home. He was safe, and there was no more pain. She could feel that he was weak, that he needed to feed, but Rey tried to ignore that although the thought of him feeding made her feel feverish. Which both terrified and excited her.

Why this soothed her--the knowing of him being safe--she didn't know, but it did. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her chest in a sense almost. 

She froze when she remembered who he had been fighting.

Was everyone okay? Had he killed them? Were any of them mortally wounded? 

She quickly put on her white nightgown as she began to pace again, hugging herself tightly as she did so. She worried her lower lip so much to the point that she split it, her tongue darting out and swiping up the blood without her even realizing.

When her door opened to reveal Poe, she expected the absolute worst by the sight of his more than bloodied clothes.

"Kaydel was bit," Poe spoke lowly and Rey nearly fell to the ground. "Almost tore her shoulder open. You know what this means, right? You know what she'll have to do?"

 _Ren, what have you done?!_ "Does--does she really need to flay her skin and cauterize the wound underneath? Is that honestly necessary? She won't turn, you know she wo--"

"It's necessary." Poe narrowed his eyes and Rey flinched as she looked down and away. She was still hugging herself tightly, the twin wounds on her shoulder tingling incessantly beneath the white cotton garment. 

"...And the others?"

"Finn got hurt." 

Oh. _Oh, no._

"What?!" Rey practically screeched as she tried to rush past Poe out the door, only for him to grab her wrist and yank her back as he forcefully tilted her chin up to look at him.

"Have you been in your room the whole time, Rey?" Poe arched a brow and Rey stared up at him with a calm expression. But on the inside, she was _screaming_.

"Of course I have," She coolly lied as she faked an unbelievably real smile. "Father told me to. Why would I disobey Father?"

"Why _would_ you disobey Father?" Poe echoed her response and Rey's smile faltered for a second before returning as his grip on her wrist tightened ever so slightly.

"Poe, I've been sleeping!" Rey laughed as he looked her dead in the eyes. "I woke up about five minutes ago from another nightmare, I'm--I'm sorry if you believe otherwise, for it is simply not true. I've been here the entire time."

"...Alright," His smile was tight; forced. "I'm sure you're telling me the truth, I just wanted to make sure. You never know, you're just so... _reckless_."

"And you're just so," Rey grunted as she ripped her wrist away almost too easily before forcing another laugh that was slightly aggressive in nature. "Paranoid!" 

"You should be paranoid, too," His smile was still tight, still forced. "After all, you're the one he obsessively wants. Right?"

Rey fought the urge to snap at him as she said, "I'd like to go see Finn, please, if you could just--"

"He's resting," Poe gently pushed her back before grabbing her door handle. "Just like you should be." 

He closed the door before she could even get a word out, her heart dropping as she heard the sound of a key being turned in the lock.

He had...locked her in her own room.

She fell to her knees in front of the door, placing her hands against it as tears sprang to her eyes.

Did he know? Did Poe know some how? Or was he just being severely paranoid? 

Fear ate away at her like an infectious plague, an animalistic scream ripping from her throat as she slammed her hands on the door.

Only for the door to rip off the hinges and go flying.

She stared at the door with wide eyes as she attempted to get up, only to sway and fall back down on her knees and hands as she let out a shaky exhale.

It was just like the pew, but this was _so_ much worse. Just by simply slamming her hands against the door, she had sent it flying across and out into the courtyard. It was at least ten feet away on the ground, laying in the snow as snow daintily fell onto it and began to cover its wood.

"...Fuck," Rey breathed out as she forced herself to stand up. " _Fuck_."

In the dining hall, something much worse was transpiring.

"I found it after he ran away," Poe threw Rey's throwing knife on the breakfast table to which Rose nearly fainted as Jessika stared down at it in disbelief.

"That...could be anyone's throwing knife," Jessika replied slowly as her eyes darted up to Poe's, only for Poe to scowl in annoyance.

"It's obviously not, Jess, and I don't know why you're even denying it's hers in the first place. We've all noticed how she's drastically changed since meeting Ren, and I know that _this_ ," He jabbed a finger down at the knife with hate in his eyes. "Is _hers_."

"No," Rose shook her head frantically. "No, no, Rey hasn't been acting weird. She's fine. It's just the nightmares."

"Why are you both denying this?!" Poe slammed his hands down on the table and Rose let out a dry sob as she looked away, but Jessika kept her eyes on him.

"Because we don't want to lose Rey," Jessika whispered and Poe tensed up before hanging his head.

"I think we already have, Jess," Poe spoke in a mournful tone as his shoulders slumped down. "I think we already have."

"Oh, heavens above," Rose shakily reached across the table and touched the knife as tears welled in her eyes. "I-I don't want to believe it, but I think he's right. We all know this is hers, which means...she was there before us and left when she heard us coming."

"...No," Jessika murmured as she turned around and started walking towards the door.

"Jessika, stop denying--"

"Show me actual proof, Poe," Jessika spoke flatly. "And then I'll believe you. But, until then, the words you speak are nothing but speculation." She walked out the doors then, and both Poe and Rose looked at each other.

Jessika stormed down the hallway, glaring down at the floor and not even seeing Rey until she bumped into her.

"Rey!" Jessika gasped loudly as Rey blinked before smiling awkwardly.

"Hey...Jess," Rey laughed nervously as she took a step backwards, rubbing her upper arm as she glanced away. "I was just going to go see Fi--"

"He's asleep right now, Rey," Jessika frowned as she gently brushed a strand of hair out of Rey's face, Rey's eyes flicking back to hers as she did so. "Ren basically threw him against the wall, and...his back got cut by jagged wood. It's...not that great of a wound, but he'll survive."

 _Ren, you absolute bastard!_ Rey's eyes flashed angrily as she inhaled sharply, digging her nails into her arm as she clenched her jaw.

"And I don't know if Poe told you, but--"

"Kaydel got bit." Rey ground out and Jessika paused before nodding slowly.

"She's resting, she already--Poe helped her already with--" Jessika sucked in her breath loudly as she found herself unable to say the words. "Yeah...it's freezing outside, Rey, why are you only in a nightgown?"

"I just wanted to see Finn," Rey spoke quietly as she fully hugged herself. "That's all."

"You...aren't cold?"

"No, I--" 

_"I should be questioning why you aren't reacting to the dastardly cold weather as I can see your breath in the air like the ghost I thought you were."_

She'd never noticed that she wasn't affected by cold weather until this very moment. She didn't feel cold whatsoever, as if the very cold didn't exist, and she stood there with her mouth slightly open as she tried to find a way explain why she wasn't cold.

"Nightmare!" Rey shot out loudly and Jessika jumped visibly with wide eyes at the sudden answer. 

"I woke up sweating! Yeah, that has to be it, right? I just don't feel the cold because I'm feverish!" Rey nodded hurriedly as she let her arms drop to her side and Jessika paused before wrapping an arm around Rey's shoulder and began to walk her back to her room.

But as soon as they started, it was almost as if Father Skywalker had chosen that exact time to approach them.

"Excuse me, Jessika, but I'd like to take Rey to my quarters so I may give her medicine that will help with her nightmares so she may sleep." He smiled and Jessika nodded before walking off and Rey thought about calling after her to stay.

She was really beginning to grow afraid of Father Skywalker and she _hated_ it. How could she hate the man who adopted and raised her? She blamed Kylo.

She quietly followed him to his room, stepping inside and going to a chair to sit down as he disappeared into his study. It was then that, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a small pocket book that was hidden beneath his pillow.

She hesitated before quickly getting up and running over, snatching the book and hiding it in her nightgown pocket and sat back down just as he walked back in with a small vial.

"This is more vervain, alright? You're looking awfully ill," He frowned as he stood in front of her, handing her the small vial and she stared down at it as fear controlled her very being by just the sight of it.

 _"I just felt excruciating pain and then...nothing."_ Kylo's words echoed in her mind and she closed her fingers around the vial as she slowly looked back up at him with a forced smile.

"Thank you, Father," Her voice was so much quieter than she wanted it to be. "I'll be sure to take it when I--"

"I'd like to see you take it now," He cut her off with that smile. That damned, too warm smile that was beginning to frighten her for she feared it fake. "Please. Take it now."

Rey stared up at him before unscrewing it, bringing it up to her lips and pausing before tossing it back as their eyes never broke contact.

"Thank you," He was still smiling. It was almost as if his default was all smiles and nothing else. "You can go back to your room now." 

Rey silently got up and calmly walked out of his room, but once she was out, she ran.

She spit the vervain extract out as she ran to Finn's room, and once she got there she closed the door and sat down on the floor beside his bed in the pitch black.

Her mouth slightly burned from the extract, but it was better than the pain she remembered from when she had drank it. Why she had an allergy to it, she didn't know, but she refused to drink it again. She didn't care if helped clear illnesses. She wouldn't put herself through the pain she remembered.

She quietly pulled the small pocket book out from her pocket, looking down at it and flipping it open. She didn't question how she could see as perfectly in the dark as she could in the light, as she wasn't particularly paying attention to that, for the book had all her curiosity.

As she flipped further, she wanted to scream.

There was so much information about vampires she'd never even heard about, and she paused on a page that was specifically about vampire bites.

 _Claiming...bites?_ Rey furrowed her brows as she read the passage, her face falling as she read further and further.

What Kylo had basically done to her, as she continued to read, was tie her to him for her entire lifetime. He had injected venom, which was the reason it had felt so good, and it was why she could feel him.

He had permanently _bonded_ her to him, and he had permanently marked her as his property/territory. Forever. 

_I'm going to kill him_ , Rey hissed in her mind as she started to flip through the pages once more. _I'm going to actually kill him._

She nearly threw the book when she found out that vervain was toxic against vampires, and that meant Father Skywalker knew about Kylo and was trying to flush him out of her system in the most painful way possible. She didn't see that it was supposed to hurt humans, but she supposed it hurt when you had the blood of a vampire inside of you. That would be the only thing that makes sense, right?

But then the world came crashing down as she read a particular entry as the word ' _Dhampir_ ' stared back up at her menacingly.

Half-vampire, half-human. The strength. The speed. The durability. The stamina. The enhanced senses.

A certain sentence nearly made her throw up as it read, _"A Dhampir can only fully transition into its natural state at the first taste of pure, unfiltered human blood."_

Her head began to spin as the book fell from her hand, Rey standing up and crawling into bed beside Finn as she stared up at the ceiling with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Hello...?" Finn murmured sleepily and she slowly took his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing his hand three times to let him know that it was her.

"Rey?" Finn mumbled and Rey inhaled shakily as she squeezed his hand again. She couldn't speak, not in this moment. Not after what she just learned what she possibly was.

"You okay? Did something happen?" His tone was growing worried, filled to the very brim with concern, and Rey turned her head to look at him with slightly teary eyes.

"...It's okay," Finn assured her as he squeezed her hand back gently. "Whatever it is you're going through, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here for you."

"Even if I'm evil?" Rey rasped out and Finn was silent for a moment before nodding.

"Even if you're 'evil', Rey. I'm here."

She cuddled close to him at this, careful not to touch his heavily bandaged back, and she fell asleep with their hands still laced together.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Once he had fed, he felt tremendously better. He had felt Rey fall asleep not but five minutes ago, and he chuckled to himself as he rested back against his headboard with one of the ancient books in his lap and a glass of blood in his hand.

He was barely paying attention to the pages, though. His mind was far off as he tried to imagine what Rey would look like fast asleep beside him. Would one of her legs be thrown over his? Her head in his lap with her hair splayed out like a halo as he ran his fingers through it? He so desperately wanted to know.

He nearly groaned at the sudden thought of her feeding off of him for the first time after he'd turn her; her tiny fangs sunk deep into his neck as she sat in his lap. He'd hold her close, murmur words of praise and encouragement, and she'd mewl against his throat like a kitten as she clung to him.

And the sex afterwards would be _phenomenal_. He'd fuck her six ways to Sunday and have her denounce God as the one she prays to. She'd be chanting his name, not His.

"My Lord?" 

Kylo scowled as he looked over at Mitaka in his doorway, taking a long sip from his glass before lowering it and narrowing his eyes.

"What?" He snapped and Mitaka flinched slightly as he fiddled with his hands nervously.

"Snoke would like--would like to see you, sir," Mitaka cleared his throat loudly as he quickly put his hands behind his back. "Immediately, he said."

Well, that was odd. Snoke called upon him so rarely, and the times that he did it was only for serious reasons. Reasons such as executions, for example. But no vampire in the community had done them wrong and were to be executed, so Kylo truly wondered why in the devil his maker was calling upon him in this very moment.

"I'll be in his quarters shortly." Kylo gave Mitaka a single nod and he scurried off back to wherever he came from.

Kylo tossed back the rest of the glass before setting it on the floor and standing up, stretching for a brief moment before sighing and looking back over at his bed.

Would she find the silk luxurious or preposterously uppity? Would she want cotton instead? He could do cotton. He wouldn't mind cotton. Hell, he'd even lay in hay with her if it so pleased her. 

He made his way out of his room and down to Snoke's room, only to pause on his way as he passed by the throne room and backed up as he saw Snoke conversing quietly with a man cloaked all in black sitting on the throne.

"Ren, my boy, come! Come, come!" Snoke smiled and Kylo nearly felt sick as he got closer and closer.

This being's energy was vastly powerful, enough to make him nearly sway, and he almost feared looking over at them.

"He has slept for centuries but he has returned! Emperor Palpatine has graciously accepted my offer to stay with us!"

Palpatine. Palpatine, he knew that name. Palpatine, Palpatine, Palpa--

Shit. Oh, _shit_.

"My Emperor," Kylo instantly fell to his knees with his eyes downcast and Palpatine cackled as he clapped his hands together.

"You've trained him well, my progeny! Look at how he falls to those superior over him!" Palpatine laughed again and Kylo's chest heaved silently as he stared at the floor with wide eyes.

"Haven't I? He's very obedient," Snoke patted Kylo's head almost affectionately as he crooned. "Much better than his dead fledgling siblings."

"I would assume so, saying that he's still alive as they are nothing but ash," His voice was like gravel; harsh and rocky and unforgiving. Evil. This man's presence was _evil_. 

As Kylo glanced up, he saw Palpatine's eyes from beneath his hood, and he nearly screamed as he quickly looked back down.

For some odd reason, he saw and felt Rey's death in those eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had such a hard time writing this chapter because I was like: "What happens next, what do I do" so I decided that her and Mitaka should converse. I hope y'all like this chapter and that it makes sense ;w;

When Rey awoke, a jolt went through her body as she bolted up with a gasp.

She instinctually grabbed her throat for some reason, rubbing her thumb across her pulse before looking down at Finn and sighing softly as she saw him still sound asleep.

She crept out of bed, grabbing the pocket book off of the ground and exiting the room as silently as she could and back to her room. 

She saw the door still in the courtyard, dragging it back to her room and placing it in front of her doorway before dragging her dresser over to her doorway as well. She supposed no one had come to check on her, as no one had awoken her in Finn's room to ask why her door was in the courtyard, which was odd in all honesty.

It wasn't unbelievable, staging it the way she did. In fact, it was more believable than anything. She was strong enough to knock a door down with her dresser, and she nodded to herself as she stared down at the setup scene before her. It was a good plan--a great plan, actually, and she was positive it would go down as perfectly as it went down in her mind.

The sun was nearly coming up, which meant Father Skywalker would be awake any moment, and she'd need to figure out how to explain to him why she took his pocket book.

What would she say? Would she say, _"I saw it under your pillow, and I'm sorry, but I just had to take it because I wanted to know what it was, but I didn't read it."_

No. No, that wouldn't work. Oh! She could say she found it on the ground and slipped it into her pocket to give it back to him but forgot to! Yes, that could possibly work, but it was still highly suspicious. Any scenario she could come up with would still be suspicious as all hell, and it sent her spiraling into an endless hole as she paced back and forth in front of her door.

In the end, she just decided to slip it back into his room whenever she got the chance.

Talking to him could cause a whole spiraling of things, perhaps even out her, and Rey wasn't prepared for that. What she was prepared for was playing the agonizing waiting game.

She managed to sneak it back in his room around lunch time, and he had surprisingly not even mentioned it missing. 

In fact, at dinner, he had it in his pocket. 

She saw it as she sat down next to him, the top of it sticking out of his pocket, and she hummed quietly as she looked back across the table at Rose.

"So, um," Rose cleared her throat, Jessika looking over as she did. "Rey...Poe told me about what he did before he went on his hunt--"

"Oh, you mean locking me in my room and then making me have to knock down my door with my dresser?" Rey huffed and Rose laughed nervously as Father Skywalker looked up at her.

"He locked you in your room?" He looked at Rey and Rey shrugged as she stabbed a piece of chicken with her fork.

"Has no one been by my room today? I knocked the door down last night. Thank goodness the winds weren't harsh last night, I might've frozen to death." Rey sighed dramatically as she easily lied and Jessika clenched her jaw as she glared down at the table.

"He went on a hunt with Kaydel an hour ago, and he didn't bother to tell the rest of us he attempted to lock you in your room? Fucking prick--"

"Jessika!" Father Skywalker shot out and Jessika inhaled sharply before putting her hands up in mock surrender as she looked over at him from down the table.

"Poe stayed in Kaydel's room last night, didn't he? So Finn could have their room all to himself? Do you think Kaydel told him to lock her in--"

"I think they both just want Rey gone," Jessika ground out in response to Rose's question. "Because they think she's turning; that she's been bit."

"Hilariously untrue," Rey chuckled before shifting in her seat as the bite marks began to tingle again. It was really starting to get on her nerves. "I wouldn't let a vampire bite me in a million years. You think I want to ever have to do what Kaydel had to--"

"Not even by Ren?" 

The dining hall got dead silent at Rose's question, which she had basically snapped out, and Rey's eyes flicked over to hers as she dropped her fork on her plate with a loud ' _clang_ '. 

"Why is it," Rey started as she laughed dryly, "That you and Poe and Kaydel are so suspicious of me having some kind of forbidden affair with Ren, hmm? I'd really like to know the backstory as to why, Rose."

"Poe found your--"

"Poe found your behavior at the table the other morning suspicious," Jessika cut Rose off and Rose's head whipped over to her with wide eyes. "That's all. It's just moronic speculation, Rey. Don't pay attention to them."

"As if Rey would be turning," Father Skywalker chuckled as he rested his arms on the table. "Rey is of God, just like the rest of you. I'll talk to him when he--"

The doors to the dining hall being slammed open startled everyone but Rey. 

"We brought one back," Poe grinned wildly and everyone turned to look at him. "He's in the shed in the woods chained up with silver. Says he _works_ for Ren."

"You managed to bring one back?" Rose gasped excitedly and Rey slowly looked down as she felt a burning sensation began to blossom in her chest that she recognized as horror. She felt horrified. And she wasn't even exactly sure why. Was it because it was related to Kylo?

She knew what happened when they brought a vampire back to the shed. They were only ever able to bring back the weak ones, the ones that barely could fight (which was often incredibly rare), and she also knew that they were tortured for days for information before being killed in the most brutal, gruesome fashions.

"Good job, Poe!" Father Skywalker chirped as Jessika shrugged with a nod of acknowledgement, but Rey felt like she was going to be sick.

"Kaydel is pressing him for information right now, so--Rey, are you okay?" Poe asked and Rey didn't even realize she had had her hand on her stomach until that moment.

"Sorry," She rasped out as she stood up. "Sorry, I don't think--I don't think I'm feeling rather well. May I please go back to my--um, a room? Because of my _door_?" Rey narrowed her eyes but Poe just stared back with a blank expression.

It's amazing how fear and paranoia can turn a once close friend into someone you don't even recognize. Fear can turn the sweetest soul into a monster.

"You can go to my room, Rey," Jessika quickly stood up and rushed over to Rey, gently linking their arms together as she gave her a soft, comforting smile. "I'll just bunk with Rose for the night after I fix your door."

"Thank you," Rey sighed in relief and Jessika nodded as they left the dining hall.

As she brushed past Poe, she glanced over at him with tired eyes and his eyes softened for a split second before hardening again. Did he even see her as a person at this point anymore, she wondered? Or did he see nonexistent fangs sitting in her mouth already?

She stayed in Jessika's room for as long as she could until around one in the morning, fleeing the room and running to the shed in the wood at the edge of the monastery.

She felt her heart racing in her chest, her boots leaving behind a blurred trail of prints in the snow as she ran faster and faster. She felt dizzy and clear all at once, and it was really starting to make her want to collapse and pass out.

She found herself freezing at the sight of the shed.

The cold wind whipped her hair, sinking its icy talons into her already numb skin. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the door, and she could already distinctly smell blood inside of the wooden torture prison. 

"H-hello? Ren, is that you?" A trembling, frightened voice came from within the shed and Rey cursed under her breath before opening the door and closing it behind her.

"No," Rey whispered as she turned around to face him and she winced at the blood surrounding him. "No, I'm not Ren."

"Oh," Mitaka smiled tiredly as he shifted ever so slightly on the ground, a small hiss emitting from his lips as the chains pressed into his skin from where his shirt had been sliced by the markings of a knife. "You're the huntress, aren't you? You smell just like him. You do smell very dead, though, he wasn't joking about that."

"I don't think Ren is a joking man," Rey chuckled as she sat down in front of him. 

"Mmn, you would be correct," Mitaka leaned his head against the wall as he laughed weakly. "He's terrifying."

She sat there in silence for a moment before moving forward, Mitaka not even flinching as she touched the chains with her gloved hands.

"I can't imagine the amount of pain you're in right now," Rey murmured and he stared at her with peak curiosity. "And to think they took possibly the most polite vampire I've ever encountered. You haven't said one rude thing or even hissed at me."

Why she was giving him kindness, she wasn't exactly sure. Normally she would be the one to kill him, but she supposed it was just her exhaustion. Plus, she could ask him about everything he knew about Dhampirs.

"I grew up in a good home," He chortled and Rey snorted out a laugh as she sat back. "You, on the other hand, have seemed to grow up in Hell."

"Why say such a thing?" Rey tilted her head to the side and Mitaka clicked his tongue.

"You say you do this in the name of God, that my kind is unholy, and while you are not wrong, you must remember that God made the devil...and the devil made us. So, in conclusion," He smiled as he shifted again. "Your God made us."

"Are you telling me that we're killing creatures of God by killing your kind?"

"Oh, huntress, all creatures on this planet are technically creatures of God," Mitaka glanced down before sucking in his breath as his eyes remet hers. "So, yes. Yes, you are. Do you feel monstrous yet?"

"I've been beginning to feel like a monster more and more every day," Rey spoke quietly as she drew a small cross in the puddle of blood and _that_ made Mitaka flinch.

"I'm Rey," She wiped away the cross as she looked back up at him. "They said you told them that you worked for Ren?"

"I'm Dopheld Mitaka," He swallowed silently. "Born in 1789, turned in 1821. And yes, I work for Ren, but...that's all I said. I plan on dying here, actually, as I shan't give them a shred of information."

"You're technically still a fledgling, aren't you? You're not even a hundred in vampire years..." Rey frowned and he shrugged as he looked away.

"I was turned by Hux, the man you killed. The redhead."

Well, shit.

"Does Ren know you're here?" She decided to change the topic.

"Oh, God, no," Mitaka laughed as he shook his head. "He probably won't even realize I'm gone until a month from now, most likely. I'm basically made of non-existent glass in the vampire community. No one notices me, which suits me just fine. I was turned on, ah, accident. Hux just kept me around simply because he could."

"Christ," Rey breathed out as she moved to rest her back against the wall. "I'm sorry."

"A hunter apologizing to a vampire? I must already be dead!" Mitaka laughed yet again and Rey cracked a smile as she looked up at the ceiling.

"Dopheld--"

"Please just call me Mitaka."

"...Mitaka," Rey looked over at him. "Do you know what a Dhampir is?"

"A Dhampir...?" His brows knitted in confusion as he shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, I don't believe I do...forgive me for not knowing and bringing you disappointment from my lack of knowledge on the thing you seek."

"Half-vampire, half-human," Rey exhaled out the words and Mitaka's face fell. "And I think...I think that's what I am. I think that's why I smell dead to you and to Ren."

"But that's impossible," Mitaka scoffed. "My kind can't have children. We're _dead_."

"But it's the only thing that makes sense--"

"Say it is true," He leaned forward, his dark eyes glinting in the low light of the moon as well as his fangs. "Say that you are whatever this 'Dhampir' may be. Do you have any idea how much danger you would be in if my kind or your fellow hunters found out?"

"Danger? Why would I be in--"

"Because you're different." He cut her off and Rey inhaled shakily as she hit her head against the wall gently as realization sank in.

"They'll attempt to kill you, simply because they don't understand, and because they're afraid. It's the same with humans. Humans kill us because they don't understand us, and my kind would kill you because they don't understand you." Mitaka's tone was deadly low, lower than Hell itself, and Rey shuddered as she listened.

"I think...they're already suspicious of me," Rey spoke in a hushed tone as she touched her shoulder, Mitaka's eyes instantly following her movements. "I think it's only a matter of time before they burn me before Father can say anything in my defense."

"You could run," Mitaka tilted his head to the side as he eyed her neck. She smelled _good_ , and with all the blood he had lost, all he could focus on was her tantalizing scent. Underneath the death, there was an uncanny sweetness. "To Ren."

"No--"

"He cares about you," His tongue darted out and he licked his lips before forcing his eyes to meet hers. "You should've seen the way he acted after he thought he killed you. He basically tore numerous rooms apart all in your name, and he murdered that entire brothel. He didn't stop feeding, like he was trying to fill this hole in his heart with blood, but he instantly calmed back down after finding you alive in that church."

"He told you all of this?"

"Sometimes he talks to me, yes, even though he thinks I'm nothing but an insect," He nodded. "He's lonely. As much as he hates to admit it, he's lonely. And I'm the only one there that he _can_ talk to about you; his precious little huntress, his reason for living at this point. His words."

"Ugh," Rey groaned loudly in frustration. "It's almost as if he's love with me."

"We feel emotions on a vastly different level than humans, don't you know that?" Mitaka smirked and Rey bit the inside of her cheek as she looked away.

"Emotions are all that consume us; we can basically taste them on our tongues. You would think that anger is the most deadly, but no, it's love. Love _destroys_. After all, it was love that made Vader into Vader." 

"What do you mean?" Well, that caught her attention.

"His wife died because of him," Mitaka blinked as his eyes darted down to her neck once again. Starving. He was starving. "He bit her, basically tore her throat out, before engaging in a heated battle with his former teacher: Obi-Wan Kenobi. She bled out after giving birth to the twins."

"Oh," Well, fuck. She didn't know that. She was beginning to understand that she barely knew anything, actually. Why was Father Skywalker keeping all of this to himself? Was it because he was the son of Vader?

"Can--can you feed me?" Mitaka asked in a pleading tone as he leaned forward and Rey jerked back with wide eyes.

"Please? I'll close the wounds, I promise--"

"Vampire bites are permanent--"

"Not if you just knick the skin," He shook his head vigorously before licking his lips again. "And I'll do exactly that. Please? Please, Rey? Feed me?"

"No!" Rey shot out before bolting up and running out the door, Mitaka calling after her in the same pleading manner as she ran faster.

The moment she got to Jessika's room, she collapsed on the bed and forced herself to fall asleep.

\-------------------------------------------------------

_She was back in Hell, back in the burning cathedral. She was standing at the end of a hallway as she heard an echoed laugh, and she stupidly ran towards it to see her doppelganger self standing there at the edge of the corner._

_"And who are you?" Rey whispered as she turned the corner, following her demon eyed doppelganger down the long burnt corridor of the decaying, partially burning church._

_"Me?" It replied with a laugh as it twirled around to face her, holding its arms out as a gesture of great pride as it walked backwards. "Why, Rey, don't you recognize yourself?" It grinned maniacally and Rey felt a chill envelop her at the very sight of said grin. Those fangs. Dear God, those fangs._

_"We...are not the same," Rey breathed out shakily and it laughed as it turned back around._

_"No, we're not," It sighed as it suddenly pressed its back up against the wall, draping one arm over its head as it arched its back and slightly pulled up its dress. "I'm better."_

_"And how could you possibly be better?" Rey asked and it laughed yet again._

_"Because I've actually accepted who I am! You, on the other hand, live in your shameful dirt covered hole of God and of religion, of humanity and of morality, and of pure dishonesty. You toss and turn, begging for forgiveness, but someone has already given you forgiveness. And it's not your God, that's for certain." It scoffed loudly as it rolled its eyes._

_"Who?"_

_"Kylo." It responded simply before pushing itself off of the wall and walking up to her._

_Rey stayed silent as it traced her jawline with its index finger, her demonic doppelganger crooning as it pouted sarcastically._

_"And you're so sad, aren't you?" It crooned loudly once again. "You're just this sad, desperate little creature that doesn't know what the truth is anymore. You've been caged by Father for so long, and yet...Kylo offers to give you freedom and you won't take it even though he already marked you. Why is that, Rey?"_

_"I refuse to make deals with the--"_

_"If Kylo is the devil, then you and I are Lilith," It rolled its eyes in annoyance as it gently pushed Rey back. "Stop comparing him to Satan when he is nothing of the sort! He can give you life, Rey! Isn't that what you want? To live?"_

_"No--"_

_"Lies!" It snapped with its fangs before chuckling and smiling once more as it placed both hands on her cheeks and leaned forward so their lips were almost touching._

_"Kylo could give you the world, you know that? I think even Mitaka knows that." It whispered and Rey found herself unable to move. "You could be me; free. Look at me, Rey. Look at me and tell me that, in your heart of hearts, you don't want to be me. But, I'll warn you, if you say no, I'll know you're lying because...you and I? We're the same exact person."_

_"You're a demon," Rey hissed out and it pulled back to look at her with unamused eyes. "And I will never be you. Ever."_

_"And if I told you already are?" It narrowed its eyes and Rey inhaled sharply._

_"You know what we are, Rey. You've known since you found that book last night in Father's bedroom. We are half of Kylo, half of humanity. But humanity has never been kind to us. The other hunters...they've looked at you with suspicion ever since you met Kylo and they've looked at you with hatred," It walked behind Rey and squeezed her shoulders with its cold hands as it leaned close to her ear. "But Kylo? He looks at you with love. And that's all you've ever wanted, isn't it? To be held? To be cradled in the arms of one who actually cares about you?"_

_"S-stop it," Rey choked out in a broken whisper as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Stop."_

_"By your reaction, I can tell I'm right," It rested its chin on her shoulder as it wrapped its arms around her almost lovingly. "And I want it, too, Rey. I want love just as you. I'm lonely, you're lonely,_ we're _lonely. Just take his hand, my dearest, darling love. Take his bloodied hand and join him in order for the both of us to experience the love we've always wanted."_

_"G-God--"_

_"Was never with you." It hissed in her ear and Rey choked back a sob._

_"How could God love a hybrid abomination such as yourself? Half demon, half human...and you think He loves you? You're a murderer, Rey. You murder your very own kind and get excited when doing so. You're a monster just like me."_

_"I-I'm not a leech!"_

_"Yes, you are!" It shouted before groaning and walking back around to face her._

_"Don't be afraid of who you are, Rey!" It exclaimed as it smacked its hand into its palm harshly as it glared at her in frustration. "You always have been! From the very, very start, you've been half of a vampire. Let it fully take over you, forget your humanity, and join the one man who will ever understand you. You know what you need to do, Rey. Until then...you're lost."_

_It backed up into the shadows and Rey hesitated for a moment before running forward, but it was gone._

_Rey slowly sat down on the ground as tears pricked her eyes, a small whimper escaping her lips as she squeezed her eyes shut._

_Why was the devil too honest?_

\-------------------------------------------------------

Mitaka screamed as Father Skywalker injected vervain extract into his neck, the dark haired vampire writhing as bloody tears pricked his eyes.

"P-please, I didn't tell her anything!"

"But I saw her come in here," Father Skywalker sighed as he took his book out of his pocket and slammed it on the ground after dropping the syringe. "And she stole this from my room last night. So, she must've asked you about Dhampirs, didn't she?"

"N-no--"

"Oh, but you know of the story, don't you?" He smiled as he flicked Mitaka's nose. "Of how a vampire male and a human female can have a child? It's incredibly rare, yes, but then again, Rey has always been quite the rarity."

"I-I promise I didn't tell her anything, okay?! I don't--I didn't even know Dhampirs were a thing! We aren't taught about them!" Mitaka choked out a sob before letting out another scream as the vervain tore through his veins incessantly.

"Because Palpatine didn't want you to learn--"

"H-he's back, you know that?" Mitaka rasped out and Father Skywalker's face fell in horror.

"What?"

"He's _back_ , and if he finds out about Rey...she's dead. And so are you for harboring her, _Luke Skywalker_."


	10. Chapter 10

Contrary to Mitaka's beliefs, Kylo noticed that Mitaka was gone within a few hours.

"Oi," Kylo called down the long halls as he searched for him, his irritance growing more and more as he let out a scream, " _Mitaka_!"

But he got nothing in return. Other vampires skittered around the castle like feral cockroaches, murmuring words of praise as he passed each individual one, but he simply hissed at them as he continued his search.

Where the hell had the little anxious man gone? Where could he have possibly gone, anyways? Out to feed, probably, but Mitaka always came back in under thirty minutes. Always. So, why was this time different?

He paused in front of the room Palpatine was staying in, his eyes darting down to the congealed, incredibly sticky blood coming from beneath the door. He could smell numerous corpses within, and his jaw clenched as Rey flashed in his mind.

The ancient was already healing, already rejuvenating himself, and it would be but a week before the decrepit creature could gain full rule and most likely make things as they once were in the times of Vader.

Which wasn't necessarily bad, in Kylo's mind. It meant more chaos, and Kylo _loved_ chaos. The flavor of it was spicy and tangy in the air, the fear sickeningly sweet and the screams like harps.

But not with Palpatine on the throne, and not with Snoke, either. No, Kylo wanted the throne for himself.

The gnarled man was asleep now, he could sense that, and the thought of slicing his throat flickered brightly in the back of his mind. He could kill him, then Snoke, and then take his rightful place on the throne with Rey by his side.

_Rey_ , he whispered in his mind as he went back to walking, dragging his hand across the stone wall as he tried to bury himself further into their bond. 

_Can you hear me? I'm here. Speak, Rey._

Silence.

She must be asleep, then. He tried to picture her in her bed, her sheets tangled around her lean body as she slept like the angel she was. He could feel her warmth from just thinking of her, imagining her eyes fluttering open and giving him a blinding pearl smile in response to his face being the first thing she saw when she awoke. 

_"Kylo,"_ she'd say. _"My love."_

He rested against the wall as he placed his hand over his unbeating heart as he closed his eyes. He imagined her heartbeat where his was, imagining that he could feel the rhythmic pumping in his cold, blackened chest cavity, and he nearly cried out in joy at the warmth enveloping him even more.

_"You don't have to be alone anymore."_

"I don't?" Kylo whispered to the air in response to his own delusion.

_"I'm here. You're not alone anymore."_

"Rey," Kylo's eyes flew open as his fangs extended, his eyes glowing in the darkness as a loud growl tore from the back of his alabaster throat. " _Rey_."

In that moment, halfway across London, Rey bolted up with a cry as she had basically just heard Kylo growl in her ear like some starved, depraved beast.

"S-Saint John's ghost, what the hell!" Rey bit out as she laid back down, covering her head with her pillow as she groaned loudly in rage.

How he had just done, she didn't know, but she chalked it up to the bond.

_"But I can't not mark you, Rey. Not after all we've been through, not with the way we feel about each other."_ His voice echoed in her head as she flipped over on her back, her hand touching the hidden twin wounds that lay beneath her clothes.

It had been consensual.

If she really wanted to stop him, she could've, and she had a feeling he wouldn't have sank his fangs if she truly didn't want him to.

Which meant that she had.

Somewhere within her, some primal creature living in the darkness of her heart, wanted nothing more than to be marked and claimed by him.

And he had sensed that. He had sensed that, and he had done it, and now she felt feverishly hot as she thought about it.

She waited several moments for his voice to come back, but after nothing, she found herself being coaxed back into the lull of sleep by slumber's beckoning hand.

\--------------------------------------------------------

When she woke up, she was sick again.

She ran to the lavatory, collapsing on her knees in front of the toilet and gripping the sides as she vomited while tears of agony pricked her eyes. Her body trembled, the sickness stronger than ever, and she let out a wail before vomiting again.

How was the sickness escalating _this_ quickly? Why did she feel like she was practically _dying_?

"M-mmn...mmn..." Rey panted after a moment, shakily wiping the back of her mouth as she closed her eyes. There was an inexplicable burning in her throat, one that tore at the flesh and clawed until nothing but blood was left, and she let out a dry sob as she tightened her eyes.

She dragged herself up after flushing the toilet, slowly brushing her teeth with her cherry toothpaste pot after doing so. She stared at herself in the mirror as she did so, exhausted eyes with dark circles and pale skin staring back at her.

The glow from her sunkissed skin had seemingly vanished, gone with all traces, and it looked as if she had bled out and had been reanimated back from the grave.

The day went by blurry.

She'd space out constantly, and, at one point, she nearly collapsed when she was walking with Jessika around the monastery.

It was around four in the afternoon that she stumbled to the shed, the sky grey with no sign of sun anywhere. She cracked open the shed door, instantly seeing Mitaka in the darkest part of the shed asleep.

"Hey," Rey croaked out and Mitaka's eyes instantly flew open, his pupils expanding at her scent hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"Huntress," He breathed out with an exhausted smile, his fangs fully extended from hunger and threatening to puncture his lips. "Welcome back."

"It's my turn to torture you, apparently," Rey stepped in before closing the door behind her, swaying for a moment before leaning back against the wall as she squeezed her eyes shut from the nausea and agonizing pain wriggling throughout her nerves.

"You look ill," Mitaka tilted his head to the side owlishly as he blinked. "Very ill, actually. Do you need a hospital?"

"I-I feel like my throat and chest and stomach are on fire," Rey rasped out as she slowly began to sink to the ground. "I can't stop throwing up, I wasn't able to eat today. Just the smell of food, it's--it's like smelling death."

"...You're fascinating," Mitaka's eyes lit up and Rey opened her eyes as she furrowed her brows.

"How...?"

"You're experiencing the thirst, Rey," Mitaka leaned forward with the giddiness of a small child. "And your body is most likely trying to rid itself of mortal food because, if you are this 'Dhampir', it's only craving human blood. You, my dear, are making yourself sick by eating food instead of drinking it."

"N-no, I--I could never, I've only done that from...Ren..." Rey cleared her throat loudly before shaking her head. "I'm not drinking human blood."

"Oh, but it looks like you need it," Mitaka exclaimed as he nodded hurriedly. "Even more than me, it seems! How about you go grab one of your friends and we can both--"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Rey hissed out behind clenched teeth and Mitaka slowly sat back as he inhaled slowly while looking away.

"You know," Rey chuckled dryly, "My friend Paige was always convinced I was some kind of immortal. I never got sick, I was always in tip-top shape, and each time she'd get sick she'd curse me for having the health of God."

She stayed silent for a moment before tears pricked her eyes and a shallow, trembling breath flying from her lips as she spoke, "She's dead now, and it seems like everyone has forgotten her. We mourned for the tiniest amount of time, and it's just like...it's just like she doesn't exist. Not even her sister brings her up."

"That's...horribly inadequate behavior," Mitaka frowned and Rey nodded.

"So it is the way of the hunters. Once one of us dies, we don't get to be sad. We have to show pride for them, for they died for our Godly causes to rid the earth of your kind. But...I guess I am your kind...so I--I guess they'll be coming after me the moment they find out."

The shack was dead silent for several moments before Rey quietly cleared her throat.

"Where is Ren?" Rey whispered and Mitaka glanced over at her as he stayed silent.

"Mitaka, I'm not going to tell the others," Rey sighed loudly as she slumped down. "I just want to know for myself."

"...An abandoned castle on the outskirts of London," Mitaka spoke quieter than death. "But you can't go. Snoke would instantly kill you, even if Ren found you first. I find you a rather pleasant woman and I very much enjoy your company, so I'd hate to see you disemboweled on the throne room floor."

"And he'd kill me because I smell like one of you, right? Because he won't understand?"

"That's a bingo." Mitaka murmured under his breath and Rey pressed her lips together tightly as she roughly wiped her eyes before tangling a hand in her hair.

"Rey,"

"Hmm?"

"Please release me."

Rey slowly looked over at him as her hand fell from her hair, her eyes wide as she did so.

He looked pleading--more than pleading, actually, and she felt sorry for him for a split second as she forced herself to stand up.

"What will you give me in return?" Rey asked and Mitaka blinked before barking out a laugh as he let his head fall back.

"Oh, you're so much like him, you know that? No wonder he's smitten senseless." Mitaka chuckled before bringing his head back down, his eyes locking with hers as he smirked.

"I can get you human blood." His smirk turned into a grin and something inside of Rey jolted excitedly at the offer, crimson painted butterflies fluttering wildly in the pit of her stomach that cried out with their wings, _"Yes! Yes! Yes!"_

"...And if I don't want it?" Rey asked as she slowly approached him. "If I were to ask for another offer?"

"Oh, you want it," There was that low, vampiric tone again from last night. "It's so painfully obvious you do, Rey. Your eyes _scream_ for it."

"If I knew any better, you're trying to get me to join the dark side--"

"No," Mitaka cut her off as he shook his head. "I'm just trying to ensure you survive. Ren would kill me if I let his mate die before my eyes."

_Mate._ The word echoed in her head like a haunting bell; clanging and ringing its ghostly wails at top frequency. It vibrated in her eardrums, banging like a gong in her skull, and all she could do was stare at him with wide eyes as a wheeze of surprise escaped her throat.

"...Um," Rey started slowly as she felt faint. "I'm...going to have to process that later. Yeah. Later..."

"Will you rel--" Mitaka flinched as she crouched down, breaking one of the chain links behind him with her bare hands. 

"Don't leave until I'm gone," Rey spoke lowly as she stood up back up. "I'm only letting you go because...because I, too, enjoy your company. As fucked as that is."

"I will," He nodded before exhaling loudly with a smile, his eyes shining with both relief and mirth. "I hope that, in the end, you choose us, Rey. If there's a way to have Ren fully turn you, I can search--"

"Don't make me regret doing this." Rey hissed out and Mitaka paused before sighing and looking away as he rolled his wrists behind his back.

When she left, she felt even more ill, and her eyes rolled back as she collapsed to the ground. 

The world around her blackened, and she succumbed to the inky abyss.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y A ' L L
> 
> I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS LOVE MITAKA, HE TRULY IS THE SOFTEST BOY
> 
> So basically, if y'all have noticed, I've taken different vampire traits from different vampire literature. Vervain is vampire diaries, the no reflection thing and red eyes is Dracula, and, now, the bleeds is True Blood. Speed and strength is just common vampire lore, but I thought it'd be cool to mix a whole bunch of different vampire characteristics from different media/literature. 
> 
> Also, Kylo says vampires don't have tripping rights in this fic.

Mitaka heard her collapse, his head whipping up with wide eyes as a loud exhale left his lips.

_Well, shit._

If Kylo found out that he had let Rey collapse or, even worse, _die_ , then he'd most likely be tortured for centuries on end before finally meeting the true death.

He felt a trickle of blood slide from his nose, a loud curse escaping his mouth as he quickly wiggled the chains off of his exhausted body.

If the bleeds had already started, it only meant he had so little time before his body would fully go out and he'd most likely starve in the woods.

But _Rey_.

Rey, he needed to save Rey somehow. 

It was either starvation or being ripped apart by Kylo.

In Mitaka's mind, the choice wasn't difficult in the slightest.

He stood up only to freeze as he heard a male's voice scream Rey's name followed by the sound of someone running and then falling to their knees.

Mitaka slowly inched towards the window, knowing it too risky to go out the door. If someone was there to help Rey--although not in the way she needed to be helped, and Mitaka would certainly find some type of way to get her human blood--then he could run back to the castle and tell Kylo everything he had learned.

He climbed out the back window, a soft hiss escaping his throat at how bright everything was. The sun was covered, which meant he was safe, but there was still an unholy amount of light covering the woods. It was like a blanket of blurred out sun, and yet there was no warmth to be given to his cold skin. Just pain.

He ran then, panting by the time he got back to the castle.

Only to be yanked in and slammed against the wall harshly by a furious Kylo Ren whose nose, eyes, and ears were already bleeding.

That wasn't good.

"Where is she?" Kylo hissed at the scent of Rey coating Mitaka, Mitaka blinking before swallowing and then laughing nervously.

"G-good evening, Lord Ren--"

"Where. Is. _She_." Kylo barked out each word and Mitaka's eyes flicked to both sides before remeeting Kylo's.

"I-I have a lot to tell you, but--but perhaps we may speak in your quarters on the subjects I have learned? There could be others listening, and you _really_ don't want them to find out--f-fuck!" Mitaka gasped as his head was slammed against the stone wall, his vision flashing white for a split second before returning to normal.

"I will only ask you one more time, as I'm feeling rather generous," Kylo growled menacingly. "Where is she? And why can I barely _feel_ her? I've been awake for hours, Mitaka, so, while I may he generous in this moment, I am beyond irritable and unpleasant." 

"M-monastery," Mitaka whispered shakily. "She's--she's sick, my Lord, she needs your help--"

"Why is she sick?" Kylo snapped with fully extended fangs and Mitaka let out a small whine in fright.

"Not--not here, please, we need to protect what she really is--"

"What is she?" Kylo's voice grew soft, the anger slowly melting from his face as it was replaced by curiosity. 

"Half," Mitaka spoke in barely a whisper as he stared into Kylo's eyes. "Half, Ren. She's half."

"Half of wha--"

"What should be impossible for our kind," Mitaka spoke in the same dead quiet tone and Kylo dropped him, Mitaka instantly hitting the floor and letting out a wheeze as he closed his eyes in relief. "Thank you, my Lord."

"...How?" Kylo looked beyond perplexed; his expression one of a philosopher questioning the very meaning of God.

"I-I don't know," Mitaka breathed out with his eyes still closed, his body relaxing into the floor as the hunger ate away at him. "But Luke said it's what happens when a male vampire and female human have an offspring. A...a 'Dhampir', she called it."

"She knew what she was?" Kylo crouched down and Mitaka shook his head weakly as he opened his eyes barely to look up at him.

"I think...I think she just found out, and I think I helped her realize how dangerous and dire her situation is...but Luke knew. Luke knew, and I just...I just want to help her--"

"Why?" He decided that question to be best, as thinking about that priest wasn't the smartest idea right now.

"She's kind," He whispered. "She's like a baby bird that you just want to help and mend its wing."

"You think my future mate a bird?" Kylo couldn't help but crack a smile and Mitaka chortled as he shook his head again.

"No, she's no bird," He slowly smiled. "Your huntress is a lioness through and through."

Kylo inhaled slowly before standing up, Mitaka watching him go only for the vampire Lord to pause and then walk back.

"Am I going to have to drag you to your room?"

"Given that I can barely move...I would say yes," Mitaka nodded slowly. "Yes, you're going to have to drag me back to my room."

"Or I could leave you here."

"Or you could--" Mitaka cut himself off to sigh loudly as he closed his eyes. This was expected, honestly. "Or you could leave me...here."

"...I'll get you food when night falls," Kylo murmured as he crouched down, putting his arms under Mitaka's and wrapping his arms around his chest before standing back up and dragging Mitaka to his room.

"You really do need to help her--"

"You think that I won't?"

"No, no, I'm not trying to say that you wo--oh, do be careful, don't trip on these stairs--"

"I won't trip. Vampires don't trip."

"I--I do--"

"Then you're just the rare exception, aren't you?" Kylo mumbled as he finished dragging Mitaka up the stairs, dragging him down to his hall and down to his room. He dropped Mitaka in front of his door, the dark haired vampire saying a quiet 'hoorah' under his breath as he crawled towards his bed on his stomach.

"Do you think she'll be fine until nightfall?" Kylo asked as Mitaka crawled onto his bed.

"Oh, I believe so," Mitaka sighed, his eyes closing the moment his head hit his pillow. "But I would call to her to get her to get to somewhere where you can feed her in sacred privacy. You don't need the hunters on you, much less Luke."

"Luke..." Kylo hissed out his uncle's name as he clenched his fists, his vision blinded by red (by both blood and rage). If Luke had known all this time on what she was, why had he kept her? Something was off and wrong about the whole thing.

"You--you can be angry later, may I please suggest you sleep?" Mitaka cleared his throat and Kylo paused before clicking his tongue and wiping the blood from his eyes.

"You look like a nightmare, my Lord--"

"Says the one who just came from a nightmare." Kylo grumbled before walking off, bolting towards his room and jumping into bed with clothes on and all.

The hollowness from Rey's side of the bond was eating at him alive, tearing him from the inside out, and he let out a small, mournful whine as he squeezed his eyes shut.

He just wanted to be with her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

When night came, Kylo was standing at the edge of the wood with one of his grasping one of the thin trees tightly as he tried to focus on the sound of Rey breathing.

It wasn't an ideal place to feed her, of course, but there was no other choice. With how Mitaka had described her, after having woke at sunset, there was no chance in hell he'd have her drag herself somewhere.

No, this was fine. He just couldn't be seen or caught, and neither could she.

_Rey,_ he called out through their bond in a pleading tone. _Rey, come here. Please, I'm going to help you. But I need you to come to me._

It wasn't but two minutes later that he saw Rey hurriedly walking across the courtyard, only for her to pause as she put her hand on her stomach and looked ready to keel over.

"No, no, no, you're so close!" Kylo sucked in his breath, his tone fast with panic. "You're doing so well, you're so close! Come on, come--"

"G-give me a minute," Rey breathed out as she closed her eyes as she heard his whispered panic, her body screaming at her to go lie back down. "Give me a minute."

Father Skywalker hadn't injected her with any more vervain extract, thank God, for after Finn found her in the courtyard she had just been put on bedrest.

The whole Mitaka escaping thing, though, well...they had no proof she was the one that did it, so no one could pin it on her (no matter how suspicious Rose, Poe, Kaydel, and now Jessika were).

"No, no, come on," Kylo waved her over frantically and Rey reopened her eyes to glare at him even though he was but a shape in the far distance.

She forced herself to run at that point, running into his arms and he instantly caught her as they both fell to the snowy ground.

He instantly clung to her, burying his face in her hair and letting out a breathless laugh as he cradled the back of her head.

"You're still alive," Kylo laughed breathlessly again and Rey hummed softly as she closed her eyes tiredly.

"Mitaka told you everything...?"

"Yes, yes, he did, and I'm about to help you--"

"No human blood," Rey murmured as she slowly found herself falling asleep. "No human...blood..."

"No, no, come on," Kylo sat up with Rey whined in annoyance as she opened her eyes, giving him a sleepy glare as she lightly pushed against his chest with her hands. 

"Stay sitting up, okay? Here we go," Kylo yanked off one of his gloves with his teeth, quickly rolling up his sleeve and biting his wrist as she huffed like an irritated child.

"Sleep--"

"In a moment, hush," Kylo pulled back and Rey huffed again before holding his wrist and bringing it to her lips, giving a small kitten lick to the wounds before attaching her mouth and drinking slowly.

"Oh, good girl," Kylo sighed in relief as shifted to hold her closer. "See? You feel better already, don't you?"

Rey hummed in response as her eyes fluttered closed, her grip on his wrist tightening as her drinking became rougher and messier.

"You're doing so well," He was imagining tiny fangs in his wrist suddenly, imagining that when she opened her eyes her irises would be just as red as his. "You're doing so, so well."

"I don't need you," Rey gasped as she pulled up, dragging her tongue across the wounds in a way that made him growl. "To tell me I'm doing well. I'm not a bloody child."

"You don't like praise?" Kylo asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, Rey dropping his wrist as she scoffed with a small smile.

"I don't _need_ praise, Ren. I give myself my own praise."

"Well," Kylo chuckled. "Sometimes it's nice to receive it from other people, especially your ma--"

"Don't you dare," Rey cut him off as she abruptly got off of him, smoothing down her nightgown before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Don't you dare talk to me about that right now, Ren."

"...You're angry--"

"Not just about that!" Rey exclaimed as she threw her hands in the air. "You _hurt_ Finn! And you tore into Kaydel's shoulder?! What were you thinking?! Huh?! Do you think, Ren? Do you have any coherent thoughts about the things you do?!"

"I--"

"And you! God, you just in general! The first time we met, you were going to kill me before you caught my scent. Then, in the first and second dream, you were super suave and vampiric with a dash of aggression, then your whole personality changed after I 'died'--you became sweeter and--"

"B-because I realized I can't live without you--"

"Why?!" 

"Because we're mates," Kylo looked as if he'd been slapped, the hurt welling in his eyes as he stared up at her. "We haven't consummated the bond, but we--we're mates, and I don't understand why you're mad at me for defending myself against your fellow hunters--"

"I'm mad at everyone! Including myself!" Rey shot out before choking back a dry sob and falling to her hands and knees in front of him, hanging her head as she let out a quiet whimper.

"I-I'm _scared_ of myself..." Rey breathed out shakily and Kylo tilted her chin up gently, leaning forward and nosing her cheek as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"But I can help you," Kylo pulled back. "I can teach you. You just have to join me--"

"...My entire life I've devoted myself to God," Rey opened her eyes to reveal hidden tears waiting to spill. "And you want me to throw it all away...for you?"

"No," Kylo caressed her cheek. "For _us_. For you. For your own health, Rey. I'm the only one who can help you."

Rey touched his cheek with trembling fingertips before choking out, "I'm scared of _this_."

"Of us?" His voice was so gentle. How could the voice of a predator be as soft as the fur of its prey?

"M-mhm," Rey sniffled and Kylo exhaled with a smile as he brushed the snow off of her hair.

"You shouldn't be," He couldn't stop smiling, not in front of her. This beam of light, this electric woman. "You should never be afraid with me."

Rey moved forward before pulling back, only to move forward again and press her lips against his as she held his face in her abnormally warm hands.

Kylo instantly kissed back, pulling her into his lap and roaming his hands over her body as the kiss became more and more desperate. 

Desperation is such a funny thing. When you're desperate for something, it's all you think of. It consumes every part of your mind, wriggling throughout and burying itself in every inch of your skin, and nothing else becomes important. 

Rey was desperate for him. All of him, any of him, just _him_. 

She felt one of his hands vanish from her, slipping into his pocket and pulling something out.

Rey froze as she felt a flask of some kind being pressed against her chest and she slowly pulled back to look down at what Kylo was presenting her.

"Please," A plead. The truest plead her ears have ever heard, and it was coming from a devil. "Please, Rey, drink this."

Without him even telling her what it was, she knew, and as did the crimson butterflies in her stomach. Something within her rejoiced, screaming praise and thanks as it twirled around in her subconscious, and Rey slowly took it without tearing her eyes away from his.

_There's human blood in here_ , her mind hissed. _And you need it._

Her ghosts were chattering non-stop, both whispering and screaming of things the past tried to condition her to forget. But you never really forget, do you? No. No, they stay right in your mind until they click back into place.

The snow fell around them as they stared into each other's eyes, blanketing the ground and dusting their bodies like the frozen tears of angels staring down at the scene from the heavens. Oh, how the angels must mourn for her. Oh, how God must weep.

But the pain was too great to listen to the invisible wails of the holy.

Rey continued to stare at him as she unscrewed the cap, the scent hitting her instantaneously as she raised it to her lips.

_There's no going back_ , her mind sighed.

_I know._

And she drank.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do be writing like a Victorian widow poet sometimes, though
> 
> Edit: So, basically, why Rey was afraid towards the end even though she had decided to drink in the last chapter is because she's still heavily conflicted. She had decided in the last chapter that, yes, she would drink, but then she spilled it and she realized that if she drinks more, she would completely be giving herself over to her vampire side.  
> She's just really scared of becoming the "monster"(putting that in quotations because I'm a vampire sympathizer lmao) she was taught about by Father Skywalker.  
> I hope that makes sense ;w;

All she could take was barely a sip before the sound of a door opening spooked her, the flask falling from her hand and landing in the snow. It bled into the white, creating a crimson pool that seemed to reflect sin taking over purity, and Kylo's head whipped towards the sound with wide eyes.

"Rey--"

"I-I have to go back, they can't find you--"

"But you barely took a sip--"

"Kylo," Rey grabbed his face and Kylo saw stars at the mere mention of his first name on her rose petal lips. It was liquid gold and ambrosia spilling from her lips, his name; pure heaven. "Please. Go."

Kylo delicately put his hands on top of hers, and it felt strange to her for his skin to touch hers. The glove was still missing from left hand, his skin nearly the color of the snow around them, and Rey took that hand to place a chaste kiss upon his palm.

It was like kissing ice, and ice had never been so warm.

"Go," Rey whispered. "I'll see you later."

"When?" Kylo breathed out, his mind spinning from the drop of blood on her lips. If they could just kiss again--

"I'll call to you tomorrow," Rey sighed as she grew impatient with panic. "But, I beg you; for your own safety, you must go."

"How could you ask me to leave your side when all I want to do is be by it for eternity?" Kylo sighed and Rey dropped his hand as she got off of him and stood up.

"I finally took your hand," A wish of his fulfilled. One she'd never thought she'd make come true, but she had. "Now go."

He was gone in the blink of an eye, her eyes flicking down to the glove he had left laying behind. She knelt down, gently picking it up and slipping it into her pocket before frantically covering up the bloodied snow and the flask along with it.

She could hear someone scavenging around her room, calling out her name, and she instantly recognized it as Finn. 

_Thank God_ , Rey sighed in relief as she finished covering the evidence of crimson sin. _It's Finn. He's the only one not suspicious of me at this point._

She stood up and turned around, running out of the woods and down the courtyard to her room. 

"Finn,"

"Rey!" Finn jumped at the sudden sight of her, his chest heaving as he quickly sat down on her bed. "Where were you?!"

"I just wanted to go for a walk, I'm--"

"What's that on your mouth?" Finn cut her off and Rey touched the corner of her mouth, her middle finger coming back with a small dot of blood.

"Oh, I must have bit my tongue," Rey frowned, staring down at it as a ravenous hunger began to settle in the pit of her stomach. "It's just a smidge, though, so I think my tongue is fine."

"...Father wanted me to give you this," Finn held up a vial of vervain extract and Rey instantly slammed her back against the door with frightened eyes, shaking her head violently as she clenched her jaw.

"Rey, it's medicine--"

"It's the fucking devil!" Rey spat and Finn jerked back in shock at her venomous tone.

"Rey...Rey, what's...happening to you...?" Finn barely whispered and Rey stared at him with frightened eyes still. Her body was trembling at the memory of the pain the vervain brought; the burning, scalding sensation flowing throughout every single part of her small body. It was liquid death in a bottle, and she'd rather die than ever ingest it again.

"Nothing is happening to me, Finn," Rey whispered as she tried to force herself to calm down. A hard task, but not impossible. "I'm just tired, and I don't want to have an allergic reaction to that demonic elixir ever again."

"Demonic?" Finn slowly stood up. "You think Father's medicine, the medicine of a priest, a man of God...is _demonic_?"

"More than demonic," Rey hissed out without meaning to. "It's making me sicker, not healthier."

"...So be it." Finn stated dryly with a tight smile, and she knew he was suspicious now as well. And there was nothing she could possibly do about it.

"So be it." Rey swallowed as she gave him a quick, singular nod, and Finn clicked his tongue.

_So be it._

\------------------------------------------------------

Even with the grey skies, her eyes stung from the light. She shielded her eyes each time she left her room to go do things, and the suspicious looks from the others were growing and growing until they turned into icy glares.

But she didn't pay attention. She had more important things to do than cower in the eyes of her fellow hunters.

She had gone down to the library before anyone had woken up, and she spent most of her day reading over things she had simply skimmed over in the past; specifically mates.

Beautiful thing, mates seemed to be. A soul tethering bond, a bond so unbreakable that not even God could touch it, but it was painted horribly in the books. Oh, how it was painted horribly.

' _Devil bond,_ ' it read. ' _The screams of a mate watching their beloved die is worth more than gold._ '

It was also a rarity, mating was, and to kill a pair of mates was basically to be promoted in the hunter world. If you killed one mate, the other would eventually wither away and die without their other half. Their souls were bonded, they cannot exist without one another.

"...Shit," Rey whispered as she touched the page, tears of terror welling in her eyes as she did so. "That's...not good."

Rey ran her tongue over her upper teeth as the tingle in her gums started up again.

Since she had woken up, her two canines had been tingling incessantly. It was as if she had just eaten something very cold, frozen almost, and the tingle wasn't going away in the slightest. 

But she could forget the tingling in this moment as the haunting words she had just read twirled around in her mind like phantom wisps of decay. 

If they killed him, she would die. If they killed her, he would die.

It was a nightmare, this realization. More than a nightmare, actually. It was _Hell_.

A couple tears hit the page and she flinched at the sound of the salted water hitting the old pages, Rey quickly slamming the book shut as she inhaled sharply before hurdling it across the room.

She hastily wiped her eyes, breathing shakily as she did so, and she closed her eyes as she pressed her lips together tightly.

Certain death for both of them if one of them died. 

Of course, the bond hadn't been conssumated, but it was still there, wasn't it? Just not as strong? It had to be, the emotional distress she'd been put through since she met him had to mean that it was, in fact, there.

Had it always been there? Since the moment she met him? Or did it develop over the dreams and the times they interacted? The book didn't say anything about that. It just said the basics and that they were a valuable kill.

_"Do you feel monstrous yet?"_

"My God," Rey breathed out as she opened her eyes. "Mitaka was right. Hunters are...monsters. Both us and the vampires are monsters, we're--" She paused to bark out a laugh as she hunched over, pressing her mouth into cupped hands. "Monsters killing monsters! Oh, the irony!"

She hugged herself then, letting out a loud, choked sob as tears sprang to her eyes.

She had been a monster since the beginning, and she just didn't realize it. Hunters hid behind God, behind the angels and the holy word, but, in reality, they were just as bad as vampires; endlessly killing and destroying a race which was not their own.

She felt like she couldn't breathe suddenly, all air leaving her lungs which started a fit of hyperventilation as she collapsed onto her side. 

_"You're a murderer, Rey. You murder your very own kind and get excited when doing so. You're a monster just like me."_

"O-oh, God," Rey whined as she tossed and turned in her emotional hell pit.

_"Was never with you."_

She wanted to pass out, to be asleep. She wanted to be far away from this place, from--from everything. This was Hell, the hunters were Hell, Father Skywalker--

_Father Skywalker._

What was she ever going to do about him? He had been lying to her since day one, and she felt the strongest urge to rip out his throat and bathe in his blood like some sort of murderous maenad.

He had been hiding in his room all day, Rey not having seen a single glance of him, and she had a feeling that he, too, was suspicious of her.

Or...did he already know?

But she couldn't think about that right now.

All she could focus on was her heartbeat pounding in fear of being found out and her short of breath.

And she knew she needed to get back to Kylo as soon as possible.

\------------------------------------------------------

Escaping from the monastery hadn't been easy.

It seemed as if everyone was watching her every move, and she left the moment everyone had fallen asleep.

She ran to the burnt church, her coat flying behind her as the need to get him only grew stronger and stronger with each and every passing second.

When she ran into the chapel, he was already there.

"You smell of fear," Kylo announced and Rey inhaled slowly as she stayed still. "It doesn't suit you."

"I have many a things to be fearful of," Rey responded and Kylo paused before nodding.

"Do you fear me?"

"Not anymore."

"Then what is it you fear?"

"The unknown," Rey swallowed before scoffing with a tight smile and pushing her hair back as tears pricked her eyes. "I'm afraid of the _fucking_ unknown like a child."

"...I don't think your fear childish, Rey, I think it rather just for how you were raised." Kylo was suddenly standing in front of her, tilting her chin up as he looked down at her.

"You fear what this could be, and I understand, but you shouldn't be. Just...let yourself go. Let yourself fall into the crimson in which you were born of--"

"But I don't want to become a monster!" Rey choked out and Kylo pressed his lips together tightly before clicking his tongue.

"You think me a monster?"

"I--there are things you have done--"

"There are things saints have done that are monstrous, and yet you still praise them. Why am I different?"

Oh, truth. Oh, blasted, revealing truth. How it steeps in the soul like no other.

"I...Kylo, I--"

"No more words," Kylo shook his head once as he put a gloved finger to her lips. "Just accept what you are, Rey. Accept that you and I are meant to be, that we're all we need. I'll protect you. I'll do _anything_ for you. Just let yourself fall."

She stared up at him with teary eyes, a small whine escaping her lips as she desperately grabbed onto his coat.

"But I'm _scared_ \--"

"Don't be," Such a soft smile he gave her; one of satin and silk. "I'm here."

A flask was suddenly being pressed into her hand, and her eyes flicked down to it as a couple tears slid down her cheeks.

"You know what you need to do and I know you have the strength to do it." Kylo smiled and Rey bit back a sob as she nodded quickly as she took it.

"There's no going back after this," Rey whispered as she slowly unscrewed the cap. "Is there?"

"No," Kylo stated bluntly. "No, there's not. Not if you drink it all."

"...Cheers," Rey gave him a sad smile before squeezing her eyes shut and pressing the flask to her lips, and after the first sip, something inside of her screamed in relief.

It was like dying--well, it was like being born, too. Death and life all at once, coming together in harmony and holding each other in a blanket of red; caressing each other like forgotten lovers as the red grew and grew until positively nothing was left.

The flask dropped from her hand after she was done, her breathing steadier than it should be as her eyes opened.

"Better?" Kylo asked softly and Rey nodded slowly as she hugged herself.

Warm. She felt warm.

Before she realized what she was doing, she found herself kissing him savagely.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the sex in a church tag has entered the chat*
> 
> It took thirteen chapters for this explicit fic to get explicit. I am...so sorry.

Never before had a kiss been so hungry.

They were devouring each other, both body and soul, and Rey felt herself being slammed up against the wall after her corset was shredded off.

No words were needed in this moment as he ripped off each individual clothing from her body, and Rey froze as she felt the air on her nude body after she kicked off her boots.

"Hey--"

"Shh," Kylo hushed her as he pulled back for a moment, his eyes roaming her body as a smile tugged at his lips. "I'm admiring you."

Rey felt her face grow hot as he ran his gloved hands across and down her body like he was exploring one of the world's greatest treasures, a purr rumbling in the back of his throat as he hoisted her up and placed her legs at his sides.

"You're stunning," Kylo breathed out with a smile as he cupped her breasts in his hands, Rey squeaking silently at the feeling of the leather on her skin as her nipples instantly hardened into peaks. "You know that?"

"I-I wouldn't know, I'm not some narcissist who stares at themselves in the mirror constantly--"

"You don't have to be a narcissist to look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see." Kylo gently squeezed and Rey hit her head against the wall with wide eyes.

No one had ever touched her like this. Not even herself. Hell, no one had ever even seen her body beside herself. So, for him to be touching and looking at her like this was an overwhelming experience for her to say the very least.

His hands moved down to cradle her ribs, his fingers grazing against the bones as the purring grew louder and louder. Down his hands went, lower and lower until they were at her thighs.

"Rey," His voice was deep; husky and hungry. "Would you like to conssumate the bond?"

Well, fuck. 

"I--I mean, yeah," Rey blinked as she felt a foreign warmth began to swell between her thighs as he pressed his still clothed hips against hers. "Yes, we should, but--"

"But?" He didn't sound angry or annoyed in the slightest, he sounded rather soft and genuine.

"I haven't--"

"I know you haven't," He chuckled as one of his hands dipped between her thighs, and as his thumb pressed against her clit, her body instantly jerked and a small yelp flew from her lips like a startled canary. 

"That's why I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to, and we can go as slow as you would like. Just tell me what you want."

"It f-feels warm," Rey breathed out shakily and Kylo bit back a devilish grin as he leaned down, his lips brushing the shell of her ear and he could no longer hold back the grin as he said, 

"It's because you're wet, sweetheart."

 _Fuck._ The huskiness of his tone, the sinful baritone that dripped carnal desire, flooded her senses and her eyes nearly rolled back as he began to slowly thumb her clit in agonizing circles.

He's holding her against the wall with one hand, just one hand, and Rey has never felt so weightless and small as she rolled her hips against his hand needily. A whine ripped from her throat as his thumb stilled, only for the whine to be replaced with a shrill cry as his middle finger slowly sank in-between her swollen folds.

"Relax," Kylo sighed softly as he pressed an open mouthed kiss against the column of her throat and Rey jerked her hips as she felt his fangs. "No need to be tense. Just let yourself go."

When he sunk a second finger in, Rey jolted. "Hurts a little bit--"

"Mhm," The response was quick, his tone rushed. She could tell he was holding back, that he wanted nothing more than to rip his own clothes off and fuck her against the wall, and she whimpered as he curled his fingers upwards. "I'm going slow."

"Y-you--you don't have to go that slow--"

"...Hang on,"

She found herself on her back on the stone altar with him already between her thighs, and she arched her back as she felt his breath grace her wet cunt.

"You're going to be the death of me," Kylo muttered as he spread her thighs a tad bit more, his glowing eyes flicking up to hers as he did so. "I hope you realize this."

Rey bit her lower lip only to gasp and jerk her hips as she felt his tongue drag between her folds teasingly, the tip of his tongue delving into the dip of her clit for a split second. 

And then he began to eat her out like a beast that had been starved for eons.

Rey cried out at the sensation of it all, arching her back and jerking her hips as she tangled her hands into his raven locks. He slammed his hands down on her hips, holding her place like the personification of gravity, and Rey cried out again as she felt his fangs playfully scrape against her most sensitive flesh.

He suckled her clit, his tongue flicking her bundle of nerves repeatedly, and Rey whined loudly as she tried to jerk her hips up yet again.

She felt like she couldn't see, the sound of his mouth on her filling the room with wet and obscene noises, and white exploded behind her eyes as she felt one of his hands vanish only for his finger to sink into her again.

But when he added two fingers and began to thrust them in and out mercilessly, and he pulled up to kiss her, and she could taste herself on his lips, something within her snapped and she screamed into his mouth as she came around his fingers.

Her body convulsed for a brief few seconds, tears stinging the corners of her eyes, and he pulled up with a smirk as he stilled his fingers.

Pride. The man was the face of pride in this moment.

Even with his gloves on, he could feel the slick of her cum. She's all liquid, a soaked mess, and he couldn't help but grin as he held back a laugh.

He was the only one that would ever be allowed to touch her like this; to turn her into a gelatin-like mess beneath him.

"Ky--Kylo--" Rey breathed out as her chest heaved up and down, her orgasm basically having stolen all air from her lungs.

He leaned down suddenly, his lips moving down her throat to the twin marks on her shoulder as he chortled, "They're healing. Fading fast, I'd say."

"Are they?" Rey asked breathlessly, placing one of her legs at his side as she closed her eyes and let his lips press love into her very flesh. "I suppose you'll just have to--m-mmn!" Rey choked loudly as he sank his fangs in, and she clung to him as she arched her back ever so slightly.

She could feel the blood being pulled from her veins, the sound of it thick like honey, and Rey found herself moaning softly as she rolled her hips against his.

"So good," Kylo gasped as he pulled back, licking the wounds as he groaned. " _So good_." He pulled back again to stare down at her, his eyes still glowing brightly as a certain predatory hunger shone within them.

"Ky--Kylo--" She was cut off by Kylo swiping his fingers across the wounds, dragging his index and middle finger down her chest and then across as he smirked.

"God can't have you anymore."

Rey picked her head up and looked down to see that he had drawn an upside down cross on her body, and her eyes widened as they flicked back up to his. 

"Kylo--"

"I think it's fitting," He chuckled as he licked the blood off of his fingers. "Don't you? Am I still not 'demonic' in your eyes, my beloved? Does this symbol not suite your taste for me?"

"It's bloody insulting in a sense--"

"Oh, no," Kylo purred as he gave her a quick kiss. "I've insulted you. Whatever shall I do to make up for my idiocy?"

"I-I--I don't know--"

"Oh, I think you do," Kylo grinned wolfishly.

"Will--will it hurt?" Rey asked meekly and the smug aura around him vanished as it was quickly replaced with one of care as he caressed her cheek.

"I'll try to make it as painless as possible," His words were soft; genuine. "You're in control here, not me."

Her cunt still leaked from his hands making a mess of her, and she bit her lower lip as she stared up at him.

"I--okay," Fuck it, right? "Okay."

He stood up then, hurriedly undressing himself only to pause as he watched Rey touch herself. Her eyes widened at how wet she was, her thighs slick, and Kylo nearly choked on air as he watched her slip a finger inside of herself.

"Wet," Rey whispered in almost awe as if she had just discovered something for the very first time and, in a way, she was. She was staring at her hand after pulling it up, rubbing her fingers together and looking at the wetness on her fingertips. "Wet."

Kylo didn't care if his clothes were shredded at that point, his clothes and shoes thrown across the church as he knelt down over her. 

Big. He was _big_.

"You're going to kill me," Rey shot out without thinking and Kylo bit back a laugh as he settled in between her thighs, gently maneuvering her legs so they were up higher.

"You're already half dead." Kylo chuckled breathlessly as he pushed the head of his cock against her sex, to which Rey whimpered and tossed her head back at his teasing. 

Inch by inch he pushed in, only to halt midway as Rey made a pained sound with tears pricking her eyes.

He was tearing her in half, splitting her completely down the middle.

"You're okay," Kylo whispered as he grabbed her hands, lacing their fingers together as he gave her a reassuring squeeze. He looked like he was holding back once again, and Rey wanted to sob thanks to him for doing so.

"I promise you, you're okay. Just tell me when."

Rey nodded hurriedly before moving her hips after a few moments, and a pained moan flew from her lips as he sank down into her all the way to the hilt.

" _Fuck_ ," Kylo hissed out as he squeezed her hands harder, clenching his jaw as his cock twitched within her. "You're _tight_."

Rey panted up at him as he let go of her hands, her hands then instantly going to his back as she wrapped her legs around his waist only to pull him in deeper.

He moaned at that, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he gently snapped his hips forward.

" _Rey_ \--"

"Move."

He fucks her hard then; his pace relentless and merciless like that of a war. She clawed at him, digging her nails in his back and drawing blood, and their lips were never apart for more than a few moments at a time.

It isn't graceful. It isn't beautiful. It isn't a dance.

It's messy. It's carnivorous. It's _primal_.

Each time their lips were apart, Rey would sink her teeth into his shoulder or his neck and each time Kylo would cry out as his thrusts sped up.

He was on his back suddenly, Rey's hips and his moving against each other in violent harmony as she rode him. 

Her hands were on his chest, his gripping her ass, and she threw her head back as he thrust up into her in that perfect spot. She screamed as she felt her orgasm tear through her, and Kylo grunted as he quickly followed.

She felt lightheaded for a moment, slipping off of his cock and collapsing by his side.

Rey gently threw her leg over his thighs after a moment as he put his arm around her while she rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. He began to absentmindedly twirl a piece of her hair as a constant, pleased purring sound rumbled within the back of his throat.

She was still breathless, still lightheaded, but she could feel her body dwindling down into the soft afterglow of sex.

"Do I still smell dead?" Rey asked after a few minutes and Kylo snorted softly in response.

"Of course--"

"Is it like...dead _dead_?"

"No, Rey, you don't smell like decay," Kylo laughed, and she found it beautiful. His laugh was the golden hour of sounds. "The scent of the 'dead' just means you smell...icy; frozen. You smell like frozen roses. It's a wonderful scent."

"Frozen roses..." Rey trailed off as the chapel was engulfed into silence once more.

She opened her eyes to look over at the cross on the wall, a loud sigh escaping her lips as she did so.

"What is it?" Kylo asked and Rey hummed as she bit her lower lip.

"I used to be afraid of the cross as a child," She began. "I used to have nightmares that it was me up on the cross instead of Jesus; that it was my hands and feet nailed into the holy wood."

"Crucifixtion would most certainly be a horrible way to die," Kylo murmured and Rey looked up at him as she picked her head up to look down at him.

"What were you afraid of as a child?"

"Not being enough for my parents." The answer was quick, like he didn't have to think about it in the slightest.

"...Oh," Rey breathed out and he glanced away as he knit his brows together.

"My past is...bloody and complicated, Rey," His words were slow and slightly pained. "Much too bloody and complicated for this moment. Ask me about them later, will you? But not now. Not now."

Rey stayed silent for a moment before pushing his hair back and speaking, "How many ways have people tried to kill you?"

"Oh, Lord," Kylo laughed as he looked back at her. "Would you like the list detailed or straight to the point?"

"Straight to the point." She said with a cheeky grin.

"Ah, well, let's see..." Kylo hummed as he looked up at the blackened ceiling. "People have attempted to...drown me, hang me, stone me, poison me, stab me, shoot me, throw me from the cliffs...God, Rey, there have been so attempts on my life by humans that I've lost count. One time I almost got my head cut off by a guillotine, but I managed to escape. I really chose the wrong time to be in France that day."

"What was the most painful?"

"The most painful thing in my life?"

Not what she was asking, but why not. "...Sure,"

"Watching you fall from the roof," He reached up to brush her hair from her face. "That was the most painful thing in my life. Nothing else can compare."

"...If one of us dies, because we conssumated the bond, so shall the other," Rey whispered and Kylo inhaled slowly before exhaling loudly with a smile.

"Is that not romantic in your eyes, my darling?"

"It's _terrifying_ \--"

"Ah, but love is terror," Kylo grinned and Rey stared down at him. She hesitated before removing her leg and fully sitting up, resting her weight on her hands as she stared down at him once again.

"What the hell do you mean 'love is terror'? Love is--love is beautiful, it's blinding--"

"But is it not also terrifying and perilous?" Kylo reached up to cup her cheek, his eyes that soft silk she was quickly learning to adore. 

"Is it not hell to be in love? How could anything as horrifically, wonderfully explosive as love be nothing but heaven? There is darkness in everything, Rey, and love is not excluded from that darkness."

"...Can it be for us?" She touched his cheek as she smiled sadly. "Can it have no horrors, no darkness, no peril? Can it just be sweetness and light and blinding?"

"Then it wouldn't be love." Kylo spoke softly and Rey paused before leaning down and kissing him.

"But it could be _our_ love," She whispered against his lips and Kylo hummed softly as his eyes closed, the kiss as sweet and as soft as they come.

"You already speak of love, yet you wanted to kill me more than a week ago--"

"Is this not love?" Rey pulled back with a confused expression and Kylo blanked for a second at her question.

"...I would hope that it is, yes--"

"I think it's love," Rey murmured as she sat back up, looking towards the doorway of the chapel as she sighed. "But I wouldn't know. I haven't the faintest idea of what love is."

"Oh, you poor, piteous creature," Kylo frowned. "What loneliness have you known?"

"What loneliness have _you_ known?"

"Endless," He whispered as he pulled her on top of him, Rey planting her hands on his chest as she settled down on his lap. "An endless black sea of loneliness that I am constantly bobbing for air in."

"...Back at the monastery, I had never felt so alone--"

"You're not alone." A promise flew from his lips and Rey breathed in the warmth of it, the sunlit words wrapping her up in a cocoon.

"Neither are you." Rey smiled and Kylo nearly cried as he closed his eyes.

Rey laid back down, his arm instantly enveloping her and pulling her close, and she rested his head on his chest once more as she closed her eyes.

"Will you wake me before dawn?" Rey muttered sleepily and Kylo hummed in response as he brought her even closer.

And, so, she let herself succumb to slumber in the arms of love.

\-----------------------------------------------------

He was jolted awake by sunbeams filtering in through the broken windows, a low hiss escaping his throat as he instinctually pulled Rey closer and away from the intruding, pesky light.

Rey stirred against him, a soft groan escaping her lips as she buried her face in the crook of his neck while inhaling deeply before she stilled once more.

He sighed as he closed his eyes, stroking her spine lovingly as he dwelled in both her warmth and the silence of the chapel.

Contrary to some beliefs, the sun does not instantly incinerate vampires.

It hurts, yes--burns the skin and peels at the flesh--but only if exposed to it for more than ten minutes or so as a vampire's skin is hard to penetrate (silver and blessed metal is the only metal that can break the skin).

The sun rays weren't flittering onto them, but beside them, and Kylo moved to the left inch by inch until they were fully immersed in the darkness.

He pulled back to look down at her face, caressing her cheek and gently swiping his thumb across her lower lip only to freeze as she opened her mouth ever so slightly.

A pair of tiny fangs, much like a kitten's, sat in her mouth. They gleamed up at him like precious pearls, the sharpness of them too taunting not to touch.

He touched one delicately, pressing the pad of thumb up against one. It broke the skin instantly, and he nearly moaned as she began to suckle on his thumb like a babe starved.

"M-mmn?" Rey's eyes fluttered open and Kylo instantly hushed her, a proud smile on his lips as she continued to suckle his thumb.

Her eyes. There was a ring of molten gold around her pupils; gold as the sun itself.

"Sweet girl," Kylo crooned. "My insatiable mate."

Rey paused as he pulled his hand back, her tongue swiping over her upper teeth only for her face to fall in horror.

She screamed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, I know, and I'm so sorry I haven't updated! I kept rewriting this chapter because I wanted to make it perfect, and the next chapter is going to be pretty interesting. 
> 
> Also, thank you guys for all the comments so far 🥺💕 It genuinely makes me so happy that y'all enjoy my writing

"Shh, you're okay--"

"There are fangs in my mouth!"

"You're okay--"

"There are _fangs_ in my mouth!"

"Because you're hungry!" Kylo laughed and Rey froze as she stared at him with horror etched into her face.

What had she done by drinking?

"You need to feed, that's all," Kylo smiled as he held her chin in-between his thumb and index finger. "Pause for a moment, breathe, and then feed from me. I can properly feed you la--"

"I have to get back," Rey cut him off as a new panic set in and Kylo's smile faltered. "I have to get back before anyone--Kylo, what time is it?"

"Early," Kylo huffed as he frowned, his hand falling from her chin. "Too early for _us_ to be awake."

"No, I--"

"Need to go back to sleep in my arms? Yes, I agree." Kylo smirked and Rey hissed as she sat up, only for Kylo to grab her wrist.

"Stay," Kylo pleaded quietly and Rey paused before looking down at him. "Please."

"But they'll get suspicious," Rey frowned as she got on top of him, lightly rolling her hips against his which caused him to sigh and close his eyes. 

"You already know that they're suspicious," His tone was low, dangerous. "You shouldn't even go back in the first place."

"And what? Come stay with you in your big castle with all your vampire followers?" Rey arched a brow and Kylo scoffed loudly as he rolled his eyes after opening them.

"They're not _my_ followers, per se, but yes. Yes, you should come stay with me given that we're mates--"

"I'm not coming to stay with you in your castle, Lord Ren, as I need to get back in order to not blow my cover--"

"It's already been blown--"

"Hold your tongue!" Rey gasped loudly as she put her hand over her heart, her eyes wide and frightened. "It is _not_ blown! They--they have no proof, and I'll just be in my room all day until nightfall when I can escape again!"

"Do you really want to stay there and run to me every night for the foreseeable future, Rey?" Kylo sighed tiredly as he rubbed circles into her hip bones with his thumbs, his eyes flicking up to hers as he smirked.

"Or would you like to live with your mate and live in not only my lap, but the lap of luxury as well?"

"Mitaka said--"

"What did Mitaka say?" Oh, he seemed angry now--not, not angry. _Livid_.

"He--he said that the other vampires would kill me," Rey frowned. "Because I'm different. I smell different, I _am_ different. They'll kill me because they won't understand."

"...Mitaka said that?" Beneath the murmur lay a rage that fire paled in comparison to.

"Is he not correct?"

"He--" A pregnant pause as he processed. "We...weren't taught about Dhampirs, but I'll protect you. No one will tou--"

"What about Snoke?" Rey asked and Kylo's muscles tensed up as he glanced away with a nervous look in his eyes.

"I...he wouldn't, not if I told him you're my mate. I'm his only progeny left, he wouldn't kill me...I'm a descendant of Vader, he can't find another one of me..." He sounded so on edge, so afraid, and, in that moment, Rey saw a glimmer of humanity within him.

No more was the suave, sadistic vampire in this moment of time. A man, one of conflict and mortal fear, lay beneath her.

"I don't want to risk it," Rey sighed as she caressed his cheek, stroking her thumb along his cheekbone as she did so. "I won't risk your safety."

"Your teeth say predator but your voice says prey," Kylo breathed out and Rey bit back a smile.

"And what could that ever possibly mean?"

"Prey are kind, gentle," Kylo took her hand and kissed her palm as he closed his eyes. "Soft."

"Hilarious that you think I'm soft when I could very easily kill you where you lay."

"Oh, but you won't," Kylo chortled, his eyes opening as his hands fell to her thighs. How she was beginning to love those 'living' rubies that shined up at her like the rare jewels they were.

"I still could," Rey grinned before clearing her throat as it began to burn. Her hand darted up to her neck, her thumb rubbing against her larnyx as she cleared her throat again.

"Like I said," Kylo purred out in a tone slathered with pride. "You're hungry."

Rey pushed her tongue up gently against one of her fangs, gentle to the point where it wouldn't pierce, and she nearly whimpered as she looked down.

If she had known that fangs would come with the whole 'embrace your true self' package, she probably wouldn't have drank from that flask. She probably would've continued to suffer and only drink from Kylo. 

"You look frightened," His whispering was as soft as the day as he spoke.

"I _am_ frightened--"

"But you needn't be." He sat up with her still in his lap, tilting his head back and to the side as he loosely tangled a hand in her hair, pulling her head down close to his neck as he sighed softly.

"Feed."

She hesitated for a moment before slipping her arms beneath his to hold onto him, her palms pressed tightly against his back as she opened her mouth and experimentally pressed the tips of her fangs against his throat.

"Stop fighting yourself. Feed." A stern order.

She quickly sank her fangs in, trying not to hurt him as she did, and something inside of her clicked as his blood exploded into her mouth. 

She clung tighter to him, an unexplainable noise of joy erupting from her throat, and Kylo laughed breathlessly as he held her tightly in his arms as his eyes fluttered closed.

To him, this was what home felt like.

To her, this was what living felt like.

She slowly pulled back after a moment, swiping her tongue across the wounds before fully pulling back only to jump as she felt her fangs retract. 

It was strange having them semi-long one moment and then short the next, but the point was still there. The sharpness, the razor-like quality, was still there. And she knew, because of her decision, that that sharpness would never disappear.

"How did you get used to this...?" 

"Get used to what?" He smiled softly as he wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth with his thumb. "Fangs?"

"Yes, but no, but--just...everything," Rey sighed and Kylo hummed quietly before sitting back.

"I knew what I was getting into," He began. "I chose this. I wasn't turned against my will or anything of that sort. Snoke offered me a place by his side, and I took it. I...forced myself to get used to it, and you might not want to hear this, but I _easily_ got used to it. It felt almost...natural; being like this."

"Why did you choose this life?" She shifted on his lap as she draped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead against his as another sigh exited her lips.

"Why?"

"Yes, why." She wanted to know. It wasn't in any of the books, but then again, why would it be? No one knew Kylo's story but Kylo.

"...I threw away my mortality for the ultimate change because it would be the only decision I had ever made for myself," His voice was quiet; torn. "Everything other decision in my life had been made for me by my father, my mother and my uncle. I was the good son, the _only_ son, and a chance for the Skywalker bloodline to reign freely without darkness, and...I...didn't want that."

"You didn't want what?" Rey pulled back ever so slightly to fully look at him. 

"To live a life that wasn't my own." Such a sad smile he gave her as he spoke. A smile of rain, of grey skies and of muffled thunder. A storm of mourning paraded in his eyes, and Rey's face slowly fell as she felt his sadness pour into her.

"You...killed your parents though--"

"I did," He glanced away then, almost as if he couldn't look her in the eyes as he continued in a much softer tone, "I did."

"Wh--"

"Because I had to. Enough." Kylo hissed under his breath and Rey looked away as she inhaled slowly before exhaling just as slow.

She focused on the sunlight flittering in, the way the sunbeams danced on the dusty stone flooring, and she let herself relax as Kylo slid his hands up her thighs.

"I want to see what you look like in the sun before you go back to the 'home' that will never accept you," He said as he pressed a kiss against her collarbone, his hands sliding up her back as he moved up to her pulse point and continued, "I want to see if you glow like I imagine you to."

She couldn't help but smile at his request, grabbing his face and giving him a chaste kiss before standing up and walking over to the sunlight.

She stood directly under a sunbeam, giving him a smile before looking up towards the sun and closing her eyes as she let herself bathe in the warmth. She slid her hands up her arms, hugging herself loosely as she tilted her head back to let the sun completely cover her face.

Never in her life had the sun been so warm on her skin. She could feel its golden kiss pepper her body delicately like that of a bird's wings, and what wonderful kisses they were. She almost felt as if she was floating in the warmth, resting atop its golden pool of neverending light, and she opened her eyes to look over at Kylo.

He looked as if he was seeing God. His eyes were wide, frantically searching her as if he was trying to soak in every detail of the light on her skin, and he exhaled with with a smile as he nodded.

"Yeah," A tone could never be as soft unless spoken with love. "Yeah, you glow just like I imagined you to."

"Like a star?" Rey asked as she slowly smiled and Kylo barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, just like a star. Just like a star."

"Can I be your star?" She couldn't stop smiling. In the past, this amount of raw, caring emotions would've made her sick with concern. But now? Now they were the only emotions she ever wanted to feel again.

"You have been since the moment we met," Kylo chuckled before touching his nose as he felt a small amount of blood trickle down. "And as much as I hate to say this, I have to go back to sleep or the bleeds will increase to a severe rate."

"Will you be safe here...?" Rey frowned and Kylo shrugged as he sniffed.

"I'll manage. Now go, I'll see you tonight. And I'll work on making it to where you can stay with me and not there."

\----------------------------------------------------------

Getting back to the monastery hadn't been hard. In fact, it had been quite easy. She took the back streets, making sure not to be seen, and it was almost _too_ easy to slip back onto the church grounds and run to her room.

What she wasn't expecting was Finn to be waiting for her on her bed with a pistol in his hand.

"...Finn," Rey whispered and Finn's eyes flicked over to hers tiredly.

Broken. He looked broken.

"...I was the one assigned to you last night," His tone was beyond quiet, almost as if he didn't really want to speak. "And, uh...I accidentally fell asleep, and when I came to check on you, you were gone. And now you've returned...with torn clothes and blood on your face."

"No, Finn, no, hang on--"

"Close the door," Finn gestured to the door with the pistol and Rey whimpered loudly as she obeyed.

"You hurt me," Finn cleared his throat as he stood up and walked over to her, her face written with pages upon pages of heartache. "By coming back like this and confirming our suspicions, you've hurt me."

"No, I--Finn!" Rey cried out as he pushed the barrel of the gun against her chest which caused her to slam her back into the wall.

"Finn," Rey choked out as he pressed the barrel of the gun closer against her chest, tears welling in her eyes as tears welled in his.

"I didn't want to believe it," His tone was bathed in betrayal, in hatred, in agony. "Everyone else told me, everyone else agreed after Mitaka miraculously escaped, but...but I loved you, Rey. I couldn't imagine that my very own sister would be the very thing we hunt. But the blood on your face tells all, doesn't it?"

"Y-you told me you would still be there for me even if I was evil," She whispered brokenly, her heart shattering as she spoke, "You told me that you were here. For me. Even if I was evil."

"Not anymore," Finn forced out as his voice cracked from the heartbreak that was crashing over him like a relentless, unforgiving sea. "I can't be there for the devil when I stand with God and His work."

"I _am_ His work," Rey hissed out behind clenched teeth before choking out a sob as she hardened her expression. "We are all creatures of God, for God made the devil and the devil made me."

Finn stared at her before inhaling shakily as a few tears slid down his cheeks, his hand shaking as he prepared to pull the trigger.

"You don't want to kill me," Rey whimpered and Finn paused as a strange look took over his eyes. "You don't want to kill me, Finn. Y-you don't, do you? I-I thought--I thought we were going to be buried together..."

"I don't want to kill you?" He sounded genuinely confused and Rey nearly screamed in horror as she realized what was happening.

Compulsion. She was using compulsion on him.

"N-no," _Oh, God, forgive me. Forgive me._ "No, Finn, you don't want to kill me. You want--" She choked as she tried not to squeeze her eyes shut.

"You want to go get everyone except Father Skywalker and report to them I've been in my room all night. I never left, I was here, and you should--y-you should tell them that you will never be suspicious of me. Because you l-lo--love me." She was hiccuping her words, sobs wracking her body, and Finn nodded slowly as he lowered the gun.

"Go," Rey whispered and he left her room. She instantly sank to the floor as he did, letting out a muffled wail into her hands as she squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed freely.

Everything hurt. 

Knowing that she had just compulsed her brother, her best friend, made her want to vomit. She had broken into his mind simply to save herself and Kylo, and she let out another wail at the realization of her selfishness for love and life.

She kicked her feet on the ground a couple times before letting a full scream out into her hands, and the sobs only continued.

_"I-I'm not a leech!"_

_"Yes, you are!"_

_Yes, I am. I always have been. Right from birth._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey just needs to sleep for a year at this point, she's so tired
> 
> There's definitely some blasphemy in this chapter, as well as religious "smack talk" galore

_Drip._

Rey silently hugged her knees to her chest in the metal clawfoot tub, her eyes wide as her body trembled.

She had been in her room for hours, and she had finally found the strength to move and wash herself of the sins she had committed in the church.

_Drip._

The water was stained pink from the dried blood that had been on her chest, stomach and shoulder, and she stared at the slowly dripping faucet as she tried to get her mind to stop screaming.

What had she done?

_Drip, drip._

Her wet hair stuck to her skin, beads of water dripping off of individual strands, the sound of them hitting the water non-existent to the other drip in her ears.

_Drip._

_What have I done_ , she screamed in her mind like a banshee. _What have I done?!_

_Drip._

In a matter of hours, she had not only broken her celibacy and hunter promise, but had also willingly drank an entire flask of human blood and have an upside down cross drawn upon her in her very own blood. With that gesture alone, Kylo had practically finalized where she now stood with God.

_Drip, drip._

And she had broken into Finn's mind to save her own sorry arse and Kylo's as well.

_Drip._

No more was the girl who prayed in Latin and sang praise for God. No more was the girl who had been raised by the word of the Lord and vowed to do His work.

She was Kylo's now. 

_Dri--_

Rey growled as she jerked the faucet fully off, a loud snarl erupting from her throat as the water splashed around her almost angrily. Or perhaps it was rejoicing with its violent waves for she had stopped the pesky droplets from disturbing its stillness. 

But water is water, and no matter how many emotions it shows, it is not sentient. In this moment, Rey wished she was water.

"...Shit," Rey sighed as she leaned back into the tub, melting into the warm waters as she let her tense body relax. The waters welcomed her, wrapping their watery fingers around her body, and she let out a loud sigh as she let her eyes close.

The face of her demonic doppelganger flashing in her mind forced her eyes open, Rey crying out as she bolted up and gripped the sides of the tub for dear life.

Her body trembled once more and she let out a dry sob as she squeezed her eyes shut and let her head fell forward.

"Why did I do this? Why did I drink, why did I take his hand?" Her voice echoed off of the empty walls almost sorrowfully.

 _Because you wanted to live_ , a small voice in the back of her mind supplied. _Because he's the only one who will_ ever _understand you._

"Shit!" Rey hissed, terribly upset that her thoughts were true, as she splashed the water before getting out and drying herself off in a murderously violent way. She was scrubbing off the regret from her skin, and yet there was a part of that was laughing at her for even feeling such a thing.

She supposed that part of her was the thing she was afraid of the most, and was afraid of becoming.

She caught her eyes in the mirror and she cursed loudly as she saw the visible golden ring bleeding into the green around her pupil.

It was faint, no longer glowing like they were at the church (which she didn't even know happened), but still nearly noticable to the point where it was obvious that they had changed.

There was nothing she could do about it, and she was almost scared to open her mouth to see her fangs. Small they might be, but a fear still great in her mind with the very knowledge of knowing that they were there.

She would have to keep her eyes down until the golden ring could completely disappear. Could the ring completely disappear? Perhaps it would be fixed with feeding...properly. 

She didn't want to think about that. That was the _last_ thing she wanted to think about.

She hurried into her room, quickly getting dressed in a long sleeved white blouse and a pair of leather pants which had _not_ been torn. She vastly preferred pants over skirts and dresses, honestly really hated the flowy things, and pants had always let her be much more flexible on hunts.

But she wouldn't exactly be hunting anymore, and she knew that. She had made her choice.

Tying her hair back with a long black ribbon, she began to lace up her corset from behind.

Tying the corset on herself never proved to be difficult, as she had been doing it for years, but her currently shaky hands were making it rather difficult to cinch the blasted black thing. But, once she did and pulled on her boots, she prepared to head for the door.

Only to halt midway as she realized that going out probably wouldn't be the best idea right now.

Then again, she'd always been reckless, and continuing to hide in here with only her thoughts and ghosts as company seemed like a horrible idea.

For once, she despised silence.

She slipped out the door after putting on her coat, running across the courtyard like a bat out of hell, and continued to run towards the cathedral.

She couldn't hear any of her fellow hunters on the grounds, and she wondered if they had all gone into town. In another time, this gesture would've hurt her feelings. She might have even felt abandoned.

But all she currently was feeling was panic and anger as a particular scent hit her as she got closer and closer to the cathedral.

It was strange to recognize the scent of Luke without even having smelled him before like this, and she growled loudly at the particular scent of vervain coating him.

She didn't hold back as she slammed the chapel doors open, only to pause as she saw him kneeling down in front of the cross with what appeared to be a sword in his lap.

"And so the prodigal daughter returns," There was no life in his voice as he spoke. "And I assume she has made her decision?"

"I'm prodigal now? I used to be the one you smiled at the most," Rey slowly, cautiously approached him. "I used to be your favorite, Luke."

"Ah," He scoffed with a smile as he picked his head up. "I'd never thought I'd ever hear you say my real name. I suppose I'm no longer 'Father' to you?"

"You lost that privilege when I found out that you had been _lying_ \--"

"I suppose you would like the story, then?" He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes greyed with sadness as he attempted to give her a smile.

Rey stood still in the middle of the walkway, her eyes glued to his as she gave him a single nod.

"Would you like mine or Ben's?"

 _Ben._ The name echoed in her mind like a cave, twirling and bouncing off the walls of her mind, and Rey exhaled shakily as she slowly sat down on the ground.

"All of it," Rey whispered. "From the beginning. Simplified."

"I was born in 1413 along with my twin sister, Leia, to Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker," Father Skywalker began as he stood up, placing the gleaming silver sword on the floor before doing so. "Our mother died at childbirth, you see, as Anakin had torn into her throat because he believed that she, his loving, pregnant wife, had betrayed him. He showed no mercy."

"Anakin became Vader, so his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, took the both of us in and taught us everything he knew. We grew up with the knowledge of vampires, the knowledge of how to kill them, and he told us both about who our father really was when we both came of age."

He hesitated before turning around to fully look at her before continuing, "Obi-Wan died by my father's hand one day, and both Leia and I as well as her future husband, Han, saw it as well. I vowed to end him, and so I did four years later after even more training by a very old hunter by the name of Yoda."

"The bonfire," Rey groaned as she closed her eyes before reopening them. "That was you in 1436?"

"...Ben was born a year later," He clicked his tongue as he approached her, kneeling before her as he placed his hand on her knee. It was a gesture she used to find comfort in, but now her skin was positively crawling at him touching her. "And if I had known what he would become, I would've told Leia to terminate the pregnancy."

"You're fucking sick," Rey blurted out with wide, horrified eyes and Father Skywalker shrugged. That's all he did. He _shrugged_.

"She wanted me to teach him, so I took him in at age ten. He felt like his parents abandoned him when they left, can you imagine the stupidity? They were doing what was necessary in order for the world to gain another warrior of God, and he saw it as the worst thing in the world. He saw it as Hell."

_"What were you afraid of as a child?"_

_"Not being enough for my parents."_

It made sense. It all made sense.

"Well, he had been conflicted since day one. I saw Vader in his eyes each time I looked at him, heard him in his voice each time he spoke, and if I had known that he would murder all the other students and my sister and her husband, I would've killed him as a child and not have shed a single tear."

Rey felt like she was going to throw up. Her stomach was twisting and turning, acidic bile rising in her throat like a titan betrayed, and she let out a loud whine as tears pricked her eyes.

She honestly couldn't believe that the man that had raised her was telling her to her face that he would've killed a child.

"I became immortal the night Ben was turned and murdered practically everyone," Father Skywalker sighed. "It's an elixir I made of vampire blood, vampire venom and vervain. The vervain keeps the venom and blood at bay, keeps me from becoming bonded to whatever vampire the blood and venom come from, and it keeps me this age. I made it with Ben's blood the very first time, and I only did it so, one day in the far future, I could still be alive to see him killed for what he did to my sister."

"Y-you're sick," Rey whimpered as more tears welled in her eyes and she flinched as he touched her cheek. " _Sick._ "

"But I never thought of killing you," Tears welled in his own eyes as a smile split his face. 

"I knew what you were from the moment I saw you," He chuckled quietly as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "As did the nuns at the orphanage who harbored you. A man had come one night, a vampire, with you wrapped up in a thick bundle, and he begged for them to take you. He said it was too dangerous for you to stay with him and the mother any longer, for his maker was hunting him down simply because you had been born, and that you needed sanctuary; a safe haven. They were too afraid to say no...they wanted to smother you in your crib on the first night, but they didn't. They kept you until you were five, and then you were given to me...and I never regretted taking you. I still don't."

"W-what the fuck is the difference between Kylo and I?! He's your _blood_! Your goddamn _nephew_!" Anger. There it was. The rage sweeping across her like a wildfire.

"You're my child," He answered simply. "My daughter. You were so much more...good than he was, and I was doing so well until he corrupted you. Now look at you; my very own candle put out by the blood of a monstrous heathen. My heart is breaking. God's heart is breaking."

Rey abruptly stood up then, storming over to where the sword lay as she picked it up.

She stood there for a moment, processing everything she just heard. Her mind was spinning, her heart pounding in her ears like that of a war drum, and she still felt more than sick to her stomach. 

"God?" Rey scoffed after a moment as her hand tightened around the hilt of the sword, tears welling in her eyes once more as she stared down Father Skywalker as he stood up and turned to look at her.

"He still loves you," He swallowed thickly. "He's always loved you, Rey."

"He's loved me? An abomination?" Rey smiled as couple tears escaped her eyes, sliding down and ducking under her chin like the cowardice water they were.

"I can cure you--"

"Would you like to know what I say, Luke?" Rey sniffled as more tears escaped. "Would you like me to speak my truth?"

"Rey--"

"I say... _fuck_ God," Rey choked out roughly as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "And I say _fuck_ you."

She whirled around, screaming as she raised the sword and sliced the cross in half. It clattered to the ground loudly, her chest heaving as Father Skywalker swayed for a moment before falling to his knees and clutching his chest.

That was it. She had fully made her decision, and there was no longer an ounce of regret to be held in her heart. In the back of her mind, she heard an ancient cackling and she just quickly assumed it to be her neverending exhaustion.

She would've laughed at herself in the past for wanting to nap, but it was all she wanted right now.

"Look at me and tell me He loves me," Rey looked over her shoulder at him, the golden rings around her pupils glowing as her fangs extended. "Tell me that I am not what I hunt, Luke."

"R-Rey..."

" _Tell me_!" Rey screamed as she suddenly stood before him, grabbing him by the hair and yanking his head back.

"He's done this to you, hasn't he? He made you into this--into this _monster_ \--"

"The only monster I see is you," Rey laughed bitterly as more tears slid down her cheeks. "It's always been you, Luke. Not Kylo. Just you."

"I never told you what you were because I was protecting you," Tears were in his eyes once more now. Could they be fake, she wondered? Or were they truly genuine? "I wanted to cure you, but...but you've chosen your path."

"And you chose yours by lying." Rey whispered angrily. She gently pressed the tip of the sword to his chest before inhaling sharply and letting the sword clatter to the ground.

The sound took the chapel by storm, bouncing off the walls and into their ears.

"But I do not believe in killing you. To kill you would to be kill nothing. You're nothing." Rey stated bluntly and Father Skywalker stared up at her with wide, teary eyes.

"Goodbye, Luke." Rey gave him an almost non-existent nod before stepping to the side and walking past him as she wiped her eyes, only to halt as she heard him take the sword into his hand.

"Even angels die, Rey," He murmured and Rey slowly looked over her shoulder at him.

"Would you like to know how they die?" 

"...Do not compare me to an ang--"

"They let themselves be coerced into temptation." His eyes were hard, like stone, and Rey fully turned around as all emotion drained from her face.

"I did let myself be coerced into temptation," Rey walked forward, crouching down in front of him as she placed her hand on top of the one which held the sword. "And I finally embraced what I am. Can you say the same, Luke Skywalker? Can you say that you embrace who you are and what you've done? Or shall you tell me that you are a holy man and have done nothing but His work?"

"You break my heart, child," He forced out and Rey scoffed with a smile.

"You've secretly been breaking mine for years. Why should you be the one who weeps when it is I who has been living a lie?" Rey slipped her hand into her coat pocket, pulling out the cross necklace that still hid within the wool confines and placed it in front of him.

"You're renouncing God?" He choked out in a broken tone and Rey stared at him blankly.

Was that what she was doing?

"God renounced me the moment I was born. I am simply returning the favor to Him," Rey glanced down at the sword before looking back up at him. "And I am most certainly renouncing you, Luke."

Yes, that's what she was doing. She was renouncing the lies that had been put upon her from the very beginning.

"I have always done what needed to be done--"

"Lie? Murder? Made yourself immortal for the sole reason of one day watching someone else, that you trained, kill your own nephew for your own vendetta? Keep me caged in the dark like your own personal sparrow? Train me to hunt down the very things that I am half of?" Rey narrowed her eyes and Father Skywalker _whimpered_.

"I-I see him in you now, I don't think I could cure you even if I tried--"

"I don't want to be cured, Luke. I'm finally alive." She stood up then, hurrying out of the chapel and cathedral to go pack her things.

She had a plan now. 

She could no longer stay here, no longer look at the man who raised her without wanting to kill him, and so the plan was simple.

She hurriedly packed a small bag, pausing as she opened a drawer to see a vial of vervain extract sitting there. Either Finn or Father Skywalker had put it there, and she slipped it into her coat pocket without thinking.

The sun had just set, and Kylo was most likely just waking up, but she couldn't stay there another moment. She couldn't risk the others coming back and seeing her eyes, but she did quickly write a letter to Finn explaining that she would never return.

It hurt writing the letter, and she let herself hurt as she wrote it. But this was no longer her life, and she needed to leave. Permanently.

Just as it had been easy going from the church to the monastery, it was just as easy going back.

"Kylo!" Rey cried out as she ran into the chapel, her heart dropping to her stomach as she found it empty. So he had gone back to the castle.

Here she was, alone, and Father Skywalker's words were slowly sinking in.

Kylo had murdered an entire league of hunters. He had murdered his own parents. He murdered everything. Everyone.

Her head was spinning as she sank down to the floor, her breathing labored as her vision seemingly went in and out as panic flooded her system.

Had this been the right choice? Leaving? Was Father Skywalker really wrong for wanting to kill--

"Rey," Kylo spoke softly as he was suddenly crouching down in front of her, his cool gloved hands cradling her face as she looked up at him with teary eyes.

Just looking at him and she had known she made the right choice. All regrets vanished, a smile curling her lips, and she laughed breathlessly before choking out a sob.

"C-come with me," Rey pleaded and Kylo blinked before looking down at her bag on the floor.

"You...wish to leave England?" He asked slowly and Rey nodded as she hiccuped. 

"You left the Resistance," Kylo's eyes widened in realization before grinning. "To be with me?"

"Y-yes, yes, I left to be with you, but I want to leave _now_ \--"

"And go where?" Why did he find this humorous? Could he not see the amount of stress she was portraying? Perhaps it was because he was too overjoyed with the news of her having left the Resistance to be with him fully.

"Anywhere! God, Kylo, anywhere! Romania, Austria, France, Russia, Spain, America! I don't care! Anywhere!" Rey snapped and Kylo purred quietly before letting go of her face.

"Rey, I don't think I can--"

"So...this is where you've been going at night," 

They both froze at the sound of Snoke's voice from the entrance of the chapel before looking at the tall, gnarled man whose expression told them that he found this amusing.

"She's got such pretty eyes, Ren," Snoke purred out. "Why don't we bring her back so you can tell me _all_ about her?"

Well, that was enough stress for Rey in one day. As her eyes rolled back into her head, she felt Kylo catch her in his arms and bring her close to him.

And as the world faded to black, she heard that ancient cackling in her mind once more.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dress inspiration because I'm trash and Victorian dresses are really pretty

The first thing Rey felt as she regained consciousness was the feeling of a softness touching her like more other.

She ran her fingers across what covered her, her eyes slowly fluttering open to find herself in possibly one of the most lavish beds she'd ever seen.

She could guess it was Kylo's by the red silk sheets, and she had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. Of course he'd have red silk sheets, they'd probably been dyed with blood itself.

"You're awake."

Rey sighed at the sound of Kylo's voice, turning her head ever so slightly to the left to see him sitting upon the stone window seat. The breeze gently flew in, caressing his hair with the most delicate of care, and he turned his head towards her to look at her with a smile she knew that was only reserved for her.

"...Kylo," Rey whispered before inhaling sharply and sitting up. "Tell me this is a 'dream' or so help me God--"

"God most certainly isn't here and I really don't think He'll listen to you at this point," Kylo chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. "But, if you wish to pray to the devil, I'm more than certain he'll answer."

"How the hell could you let me be brought here!" Rey seethed as she tossed a pillow at him only for Kylo to catch it and then drop it. He arched a brow at her reaction, his eyes looking her up and down before darting back up to hers.

"I can't exactly disobey my maker, Rey. Not to his face, at least." 

"Mitaka said--"

" _I_ say you're fine," He was on top of her now, her wrists pinned above her head as he grabbed her chin. Her back had hit the bed the moment he got on top of her, her hair splayed out on the pillow like spilled molasses onto blood. 

"And no harm will come to you. Not when I'm around." His eyes softened as his forceful grip became gentle, his hand moving up to cup her cheek. 

"Don't let me die here," Rey whispered as she tried to ignore the growing panic bubbling in her chest. "Please. Please, Kylo, don't let me die here."

"You think I'd let someone kill you?" Kylo murmured quietly and Rey whimpered as she pressed her body up against his.

"Why else would Snoke have you bring me here? I'm--I'm different, he probably sees me as a threat--"

"He's curious about you, beloved," He ran his thumb across her lower lip, a loud purr rumbling in the back of his throat like a pleased cat. "That's why you're here. He simply wishes to know what you are and why you are the way you are. He hasn't said a single malicious thing towards you since you've arrived. He won't harm you."

"You talked with him?" Panic. Panic, panic, panic.

"Of course. He wanted to know everything about you."

Rey hesitated before reaching up and touching his cheek, her eyes searching his for a brief moment as Father Skywalker's words came flooding back.

_"Well, he had been conflicted since day one. I saw Vader in his eyes each time I looked at him, heard him in his voice each time he spoke, and if I had known that he would murder all the other students and my sister and her husband, I would've killed him as a child and not have shed a single tear."_

She'd ask him for his story later, as she felt that there was more to it than what Father Skywalker had told her, but for right now she was just focused on the fact that she was in a place where, no matter what Kylo said, she felt unsafe. Lord only knew how many vampires were crawling inside of this place and the thought of knowing that they could smell her scared her beyond belief.

"And yet you're still afraid," Kylo murmured and Rey snapped out of her thoughts as she blinked up at him.

"Of course I'm afraid, Kylo. I'm in a castle filled to the brim with things--"

"Things?" He drawled and Rey pressed her lips together tightly while biting back a scream of frustration.

"Yes, Kylo, _things_ \--"

"Am I just a 'thing'?"

"No--"

"So why are the others?"

Ah, he had a point. She wouldn't deny that he had a completely valid point.

"I...you're different," Rey huffed and Kylo was silent for several moments before chuckling and getting off of the bed.

"Wait, where are you--"

"Food." He stated bluntly and Rey bolted up at that, seemingly manifesting by the door as she blocked him from leaving.

"You're not leaving me here in this--in this _hell_ alone, Kylo," Rey hissed out and Kylo watched her with an amused expression as she continued, "You're staying right here with me until we can leave and go someplace far away from England."

"And why would we leave home?" Kylo was in front of her now, placing his hands beside her head and putting his knee between her thighs. Trapped. He had her trapped.

"This isn't my home--"

"It will be," Kylo purred quietly as he leaned down, his lips grazing her jaw before moving down to her neck. "You just need to find comfort amongst your own, that's all. You're still ridden by mortal fear."

"I could easily kill you right now if I really, truly wanted to," Rey breathed shakily as she felt his fangs scrape against her throat only for him to pull back a second later to look at her.

"I know." He grinned with excitement in his eyes, his fangs fully extended and gleaming at her like deadly beacons.

"...But I won't." She felt like she needed to state that. His death would mean her death, and at this point, he was all she had left in the world. She couldn't attempt to kill him at this point if she even tried.

And she couldn't kill him without killing herself.

"I know." His voice softened as well as his smile.

"...I don't want to be here," Rey glanced down as she frowned. "I don't feel...safe. I feel like there's something here that shouldn't be here, something...really, really evil. I feel sick being here."

"Um," Kylo sucked in his breath as he stepped back. "Yeah, about that. I was meaning to tell you that Palpatine was--"

"Who?" Rey felt faint. Out of all the things that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, this was the worst. This was the absolute worst.

"You don't know who Pal--"

"I know who he is, and I cannot _believe_ that you kept--"

A knock on the door made her give a small scream, her hands flying to her mouth as she jumped away from the door. 

"Oh, God, Rey, I'm sorry," Mitaka rambled from outside the door. "I-I didn't mean to frighten you in the slightest, it's just that Snoke wants to see you--"

"Not alone," Kylo bit out and _that_ sparked even more fear into Rey. If Snoke hadn't said a single malicious thing, why wouldn't he allow him to see her alone? It didn't sit right with her in the slightest.

"Yes, alone, I'm afraid--"

"No, _I'm_ saying not alone," Kylo threw open the door and Rey poked her head out from behind him to look at Mitaka. "I'm saying it's not an option for her to see him alone. If he wants to punish me for that, so be it, but she's either staying in the room or staying by my side."

"...Very good, sir," Mitaka nodded quickly and Rey hummed quietly as she gripped onto Kylo's jacket. "I'll just, um...go tell him that. I don't think he'll be pleased, but I'll go tell him that. To his face. Alone."

"You go do that--"

"Now hang on," Rey spoke up as she let go of his jacket and forced herself to stand up straight. She couldn't show fear, not here, and it only took her just now to realize that.

Fear was weakness in a place like this, and she would not be weak.

"We can just...go with you," Rey said as she tried to force down the fear bubbling in her chest. "There's no need to avoid the inevitable."

"Ah, about that," Mitaka smiled sheepishly. "Your clothing is...not what he deems appropriate. He's chosen a dress for you."

"He's what?" Rey ground out.

Fifteen minutes later and she was practically biting back the urge to murder everyone within the castle as Mitaka laced up her corset.

"Mitaka," Rey hissed out as he yanked the ribbons back on the corset, the golden rings around her pupils glowing as she glared at where he should be in the mirror. 

"You said me coming here would mean my ultimate death, and yet Snoke himself 'invited' me--"

"Him taking interest in you isn't good either," Mitaka mumbled as he yanked the ribbons back again, Rey biting at the air before letting out another hiss.

"Good God, are you trying to crush my ribs?!"

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing," Mitaka smirked. "My mother used to own a dress shop and she'd make me do her corsets all the time. If anything, you're only in pain because you've never properly put on a corset before."

She didn't know if she felt insulted or not.

"...Mitaka?"

"Hmm?" He began to tie it up, humming as he did so.

"Why isn't him taking interest not good either?"

"Because, in my opinion, I think this is all some sort of elaborate test of some kind."

"A test?"

"For Ren." Mitaka stilled his hands as he furrowed his brows. "I...wouldn't be surprised if he tries to get him to kill you to prove loyalty or something."

"Can he not smell that we're--"

"Mates? No, and Kylo hasn't breathed a word about it." Mitaka shook his head as he tied the rest of the ribbons off and gently turning her around, smoothing her dress down before stepping back and looking at her. 

"He's too wrapped up in himself to notice. Most of the others probably are as well. There isn't exactly a distinct scent of mates, it's more of just...being able to tell by body language."

"Body language?"

"Yes, like Ren being completely incapable of not touching you every five seconds." He smoothed her dress down once more before clicking his tongue.

"The very idea that Snoke chose a white dress for you tells all," Mitaka inhaled slowly before crossing his arms and chewing his lower lip nervously before continuing, "You're the personification of a 'lamb to the slaughter' in this mess of white lace."

"I hate it," Rey looked down at the dress with malice as she bunched it up in her hands. "And I'll tell Snoke myself that Kylo and I are--"

"That wouldn't be a good idea, Rey," He spoke with fear as he quickly continued, "Snoke would probably see Ren mating as a form of betrayal and as treason. Ren would have to get his permission to mate and clearly...with Ren being Ren, he didn't, so I'd just keep pretending to be as polite as possible and keep your guard up. I'll keep mine up as well."

"And Kylo doesn't see this trap?" Rey looked up at him and Mitaka smiled fondly.

"He's too busy being happy that you're here to notice the crimson flags that now litter these walls in which you walk. His mind is clouded by love, by you. He is blinded." 

"Well...shit," Rey sucked her teeth before taking a deep breath and standing up straight. "At least tell me I look decent in this horrid thing."

"Oh, darling," Mitaka laughed as he twirled her around which made her laugh. "I don't think you could ever look bad if you even tried to."

"God, so polite!" Rey laughed louder only to pause as she felt Kylo's presence drawing near.

"...Hang on, Mitaka," Rey whispered as she ran over to the dresser, snatching her coat off of it and digging into the pocket. She pulled out a small vile of vervain extract, throwing it at him and he silently screamed as he caught it and realized what it was.

"Pour that into Snoke's cup or something if things start to look really bad, hmm? It'll make it easier to kill him." Such a simple smile she gave him for the words she had spoken along with it.

"Are you _insane_?!" Mitaka hissed out and Rey paused before shrugging.

"At this point, I would assume so, yes. The choices I have made are more than mad." Rey smiled again and Mitaka whined as he stared down at the deadly substance staring back up at him through a glass shield before shoving it in his pocket.

"T-the--the very idea of this is treasonous, just the very uttering of words is--is unheard of--"

"I need to protect not only myself, but Kylo as well," Rey walked back over and gently patted his cheek. "And, lucky you, I'm looking out for you as well. You can thank me later when you're not being tortured for holding back information from your tyrant of a 'King'."

"...How Snoke doesn't see that you two are mates is astonishing," Mitaka chuckled. "It's so painfully obvious. You two were practically made for each other."

"Wouldn't that be funny if we actually were?" Rey chuckled before pausing at Mitaka's expression.

"What?"

"That's--that's literally what mates are, Rey."

"...What?"

"Made for each other."

"Like...by birth?"

"Technically, yes. Even though you were born centuries apart, fate had aligned your souls from the beginning."

"...Interesting," Rey blinked as she processed the information. "The books didn't say that."

"Did you really trust Luke Skywalker's personal notebook to have the tru--"

"We don't speak that name here. Not now." Kylo walked in and Mitaka flinched as he swallowed.

"I meant no offense--"

"And no offense was taken," Rey looked at Kylo before looking back at Mitaka. "At all."

"He's getting impatient," Kylo glanced away almost angrily as he leaned against the door of the dressing room. "I think it's time you come with me."

"Is it just him where we'll be going?"

"...No."

That was _not_ the answer she wanted.

"...Fine," Rey inhaled sharply before lifting her dress up ever so slightly and going out the door. 

Kylo didn't speak as he walked with her, Mitaka nervously mumbling to himself as he walked behind her, and Rey found no words to speak as she got closer and closer to the throne room.

" _Sweet girl,_ " Her ghosts crooned as their phantom hands slid across her mind. " _She who has finally embraced Hell will suffer in its flames for eternity. Such is the life she has willingly chosen._ "

 _I shall not suffer,_ Rey grit her teeth as she turned a corner. _I shall not endure fire and pain. I have chosen life, not death. Never death._

" _You're already dead._ " They hissed and Rey looked down before looking back up to see a shadowy figure slide across the end of the hallway before vanishing completely.

Something told her to follow it, to chase it down, but Kylo grabbing her hand and leading her into the throne room deterred her from doing such a thing.

"Look at you," Snoke purred out and Rey nearly collapsed at the sight of at least over a hundred vampires staring at her.

"All dressed up with your pretty eyes. Come here, let me look at you." He waved his hand over at her from where he was sitting on the throne, Rey hesitating before letting go of Kylo's hand and walking towards him.

She hated this--no, not hate. _Loathed_. 

She could feel every pair of eyes on her, hear their inhuman whispers that were strictly about her, and the moment she stood before Snoke, she hesitated before glaring at him.

"Such fire," Snoke murmured as he smiled. "I can see why he's taken you up as his pet."

"A pet? You think me a pet? I'm the farthest thing from a pet." Rey scoffed and Kylo made a move to step forward, only for Mitaka to hold him back while shaking his head.

"Oh, my," Snoke smiled like a feral animal, and she instantly felt threatened by it. "You remind me so much of how Ren used to be before I...domesticated him."

"That was a mistake," She narrowed her eyes and she nearly jumped as she felt her fangs extend. "In my opinion, of course. Domestication is cruel, once again, in my opinion. Animals shouldn't be tamed."

"Animals...shouldn't be tamed," Snoke echoed her words slowly as he stood up, walking down the steps to her. "This is your belief?"

"One of them," Rey instinctually took a step back as she tried not to show fear. "I have many."

"Do you still believe in your God, huntress? Do you think He is here with us tonight?" 

It was dead silent before she simply responded with: "No."

"At least you're intelligent." He smirked and Rey growled quietly.

He stared at her before grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to turn around, grabbing her chin harshly from behind and lifting her head up.

"She believes animals shouldn't be tamed when she is the most feral of them all!" Snoke laughed and the room erupted with laughter, the only ones not laughing were Kylo and Mitaka.

Mitaka looked terrified. Kylo looked _enraged_.

"This creature is the saddest I've ever seen! She doesn't belong with humans, most certainly not with us, and yet she holds herself like an elite! A pathetic half-breed that doesn't even deserve to explain herself!" Snoke laughed again and Rey hated that she was tearing up.

"What ever death shall I decide for you, child?" Snoke chuckled in her ear and Rey bit back a whimper.

"You said you wouldn't hurt her--"

"And you trusted me," Snoke cut Kylo off and Kylo saw red. "That was your first mistake. How could you possibly think I wouldn't want her killed?"

"Kill her now!" A vampire hollered from the back and Rey took no hesitation in snarling whatever direction it had come from.

There was the anger she needed.

"You wish to kill something you don't understand?! How are you better than humans?!" Rey shouted and the laughter ceased.

"We wish to kill you purely for entertainment," Snoke hissed in her ear as he grabbed her hair, yanking her head back violently so her throat was exposed. "And to put Ren back in his place."

"If I die, so does--"

"Oh, my," An ancient voice filled the room as the shadowy figure from before walked in, and Rey hated the eerie silence that followed.

His footsteps made no sound as he got closer and closer to the throne, his hood hiding his eyes as he slowly grinned with teeth like that of a shark.

 _Palpatine._ This was Palpatine, and the evil energy radiating off of him nearly made Rey collapse with sickness.

"You don't kill your guest on the first night, Snoke, whatever has made you think such a thing? Surely I taught you better than this."

"She is an abomination--"

"She is a _gift_ ," Palpatine chortled as he now stood before Rey. "And you're to let her go now. You've had enough of your tyrant fun for one night."

"My Emperor--"

"Let her go," Palpatine smiled as he looked up, and Rey felt sick as she saw his eyes.

"Now."

He had the same exact eyes as her doppelganger from her nightmares.

Snoke begrudgingly let her go, only for Palpatine to touch her cheek and grin.

"Such a gift, indeed."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to get v i o l e n t
> 
> I love writing manipulative characters, so writing Palpatine is, like, super fun 😂 I just really love writing villains

Supposedly, according to some, every choice we make dictates our current dimension.

In theory, this would mean that your life could be the same, or it could be vastly different on whichever decision you decide on.

Rey had made her decision to take Kylo's hand, to embrace her true self, and now she lay in her decisions that nestled in both wilting and blooming flowers.

In another dimension, the one where she hadn't of taken Kylo's hand and had just killed him from the very start, she would probably be in her room or even dead.

But in this dimension, she was sitting across from Palpatine at a table in his room with a chessboard between them.

"I'm terribly sorry that my progeny was so rude to you," Palpatine hummed as he plotted his next move as Rey sat there as still as a statue.

She was letting him win because she was too frightened to know what would happen if she beat him at chess. She wanted to punch herself for being afraid of such a stupid thing. It was _chess_. He wouldn't kill her over _chess_.

"And on your first night here, no less! You should've been welcomed warmly." He smiled with those shark teeth before glancing back down at the board.

"I...knew from the very start that I wouldn't be welcomed warmly," Rey began slowly as she already saw the piece he should move. "I was honestly expecting to be killed much sooner."

"Oh, no, I'm afraid I wouldn't let that happen," Palpatine chuckled as he moved his bishop forward. "I strictly told him to keep you alive, as I felt you the moment you were brought here, and he attempted to disobey me when I live in the same walls as him. He's nothing but an ignorant child who should be punished, and punished he shall be."

She was curious as to what the punishment would be, but she didn't want to press.

"How many progenies have you had?" Rey asked, deciding to change the subject, as she moved a knight before looking back up at him to be met with those ghastly, demonic eyes.

Like pools of lava they were; melted fire that burned with just one look.

"Oh, many," Palpatine grinned as he took the knight she had just moved, placing it on the side of the board with an audible ' _clack_ '. "Five. One of them being not...like the rest."

"Is Snoke your last?"

"My last one 'alive'?"

"Yes."

"Yes," Palpatine sighed almost in annoyance, leaning back in his seat with the game forgotten for a moment. "Yes, he's the last one 'alive'. All my others have perished."

"...Did you kill them?" Rey asked quietly and Palpatine only grinned in return with those horrifying shark teeth.

"You know, Rey," The game had been forgotten by both of them at this point. "I'd like to ask a question before I respond to that."

"What type of question?" This could be dangerous, she knew that.

"What are you most afraid of?"

Oh. _Oh._

"Um," Rey began before exhaling quietly with a smile and continuing, "My fear has changed, actually."

"What did it used to be?"

"Rejection."

"And now?"

"...Silence," Rey furrowed her brows as she truly thought about it. "I'm afraid of silence. I--I didn't use to be. In fact, I rather relished in it, but now? Now it's just...haunting."

"How so?" Why he was so intrigued, she didn't know, but he was.

"It's...a disturbia of the mind; a winding labyrinth with twists and turns that lead to nothing but dead ends," Rey stood up as she talked, walking over to his desk to see a plethora of books laid out. She ran her hand over a cover before clearing her throat and continuing, "It used to comfort me, used to let me think, but recently...when it's silent, all I can hear is my mind screaming."

She paused before laughing breathlessly and hugging herself loosely. "And silence, the blasted thing, is starving, and it eats and eats until nothing but my bones are left..." Rey trailed off before hanging her head.

"And I fear that if I sit in it for too long, I'll be gone."

"Oh, your fear is tragic," Palpatine frowned and Rey froze. Why had she so openly spoken about this to him? Was it the fear that made her utter no lies?

"I...think I'd like to go now, if you don't--"

"Is it because your mate grows restless?"

_He knew._

"You know," Rey breathed out before glancing towards the door. Kylo was somewhere pacing the castle, she could sense it, and she could feel his restlessness through the bond. "You know we're mates."

"Oh, but of course," He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, the ancient waving his hand dismissively as he scoffed, "I knew it the moment I saw him carry you up to his room. He was fretting over you like one frets over an injured baby bird! It wasn't hard to tell."

"...Why did you save me? Was it only because you have plans for Kylo?" She wanted to know why this creature that oozed evil energy saved her from what most likely would've been a gruesome and excruciating death.

"Ah, because you are a gift," Palpatine sighed softly as he stood up, going over to his nightstand and grabbing a metal pitcher of sorts that rested on a tray with a goblet upon it.

"You are one of the most wonderful gifts I have ever encountered with my own eyes."

"Why?" Rey couldn't help but laugh out the question as the entire situation of sitting here was laughable. Here she was, standing with the monster of all monsters, and they were speaking as if they were friends.

...Did he see them as friends? This thought plagued her.

"Because for so long you believed that you were good and that we were bad," He practically purred out as he poured the dark liquid into the goblet, the scent of blood hitting her instantly. "What changed, Rey?"

"My perspective." Rey answered simply before feeling her fangs extend. She gently slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes flicking away nervously as her mouth began to water.

"...You are truly a marvelous creature, Rey," He grinned wickedly as his eyes lit up excitedly. "Such a marvel, indeed."

"Because I changed my opinion when I saw both sides to the story?" Rey scoffed loudly as she took her hand away from her mouth and Palpatine paused before laughing.

"Because you chose the path no one expected you to take! You could've remained a huntress of God, a holy woman, and yet you chose Ren and to become a creature of Hell. _That_ is why you're a marvel."

"I'm...not of Hell," It almost sounded as if she was trying to convince herself that this was true. "I'm not of Hell, or God, I'm just...me. I am neither good nor evil, I like to think myself--"

"Human?" Palpatine chortled as he walked over to her, holding out the goblet to her with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Is it so bad that I still see myself human? For years I was told I was," She hesitated before taking the goblet and staring down into the redness that lay within it. She swirled it around lightly, watching the thick liquid splash against the metallic walling. "I was told I was just like everyone else; normal. I could just...do things that others couldn't. I was told that I could simply do these things because I was more skilled."

"You are not normal, Rey," His tone dropped an octave as he pointed at the goblet, her eyes going back up to his. "You were never normal. Then again, normality is such a curse. Why would you wish to be normal in the first place?"

"I just wanted to fit in," Rey spoke in a hushed tone before looking back down into the red sea that shone in a bed of metal in her hands. "I just...wanted to be like everyone else."

"Drink, and then tell me if you still wish to remain normal."

"Answer my question from earlier first."

He slowly grinned, a demonic sight, as he cackled under his breath and said, "I do not dirty my hands when there are others that can dirty their own...but I did kill one. Just one."

"Who?" She was terribly curious but his eyes told her not to press.

"Drink, Rey, and then you may return to your mate. He grows impatient for you."

Rey nodded quickly before bringing the goblet up to her lips, taking a small sip and then holding it on her tongue for a moment before swallowing.

"Oh, good God," Rey gasped breathlessly as she gripped onto the desk, her eyes wide as a foreign sweetness overrode her senses. Like liquid taffy, it was. "What is _that_?"

"The good stuff!" Palpatine laughed loudly in amusement as Rey downed the entire goblet, her senses alight as she let out her own laugh after lowering the goblet.

"No, really, you must tell me who this came from--"

"It was given." Palpatine took the goblet from her and placed it on the desk.

"Given?" Rey blinked as she delicately wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb.

"Oh, yes. There are plenty of humans that are kept as...well, I shan't go into it," Palpatine shook his head before gesturing towards the door. "But you are more than welcome to return to your mate now. As I said, he grows impatient."

"But what will do about Snoke?" She needed to know--no, she _had_ to know.

"What do you believe I should do?"

 _"Death,"_ her ghosts whispered. _"Death, agony, suffering, brutality."_

"...Let Kylo kill him," Rey whispered and Palpatine seemed to be more than delighted at her suggestion.

"Let Kylo kill him however he deems fit."

He clapped his hands together excitedly at that, bringing them up to his mouth as he let out a gleeful, rasped gasp that echoed within the stone walls. His eyes glowed and bored into hers, and, in that moment, Rey felt as if she was staring at Satan himself.

"And what if it is you I wish to see end his existence, my child?" Palpatine grinned widely and Rey's eyes slowly widened as she gripped onto the desk.

"I--it's not my place to kill him, it's Kylo's--"

"You could both kill him," He swiped his index finger across a dusty book and rubbed the dust between his thumb and finger, clicking his tongue before saying, "Call it...an act of love. But I wish to see your hand strike him down, not just Ren's. I wish to see you spill blood under my command."

" _Your command_?" Rey scoffed in disbelief as she took a step towards him, her fangs dangerously sharp in her mouth as she growled, "I think you forget what I was trained to do since an early age."

"Such anger," Palpatine marveled and Rey tensed up as she realized she had let her rage consume her and blind her to whom she was speaking to.

"Such _rage_."

Rey stared up at him before looking away and darting towards the door, throwing it open and marching out as she kept her head up high.

Her hands slowly crept up to her arms, goosebumps prickling her skin as she realized that she had basically just threatened to murder an ancient, an elite.

"God--"

No.

No, she couldn't pray to Him or even say His name anymore. No, she had renounced Him; renounced His very name. She had given up Him and all things holy for Kylo, for a new life, but...but this realization hurt. 

It was all she had known. For years, it was all she had known, and now...now it was nonexistent. It was nothing but a passing breeze that had come and was now forever gone. Religion and God were...gone. Forever.

She found herself standing at the foot of some stairs suddenly, her doe-like blinking rapidly in shock for a split moment before she curiously began to descend down the stone steps.

The air surprisingly felt lighter as she got further and further down. It...felt like home.

She didn't know why it felt like home until she came face to face with a deteriorating chapel with the cross smashed to pieces on the altar. 

She stood in the entryway for a moment before rushing over to the altar, falling to her knees and frantically grabbing at the pieces of the cross as she hyperventilated.

The cracked wood threatened to give her splinters, but she didn't care. This was all she knew, and it took this long for her to realize that. She had thought that there was no regret, but here it stirred within her like a rancid poison.

This was all she knew. This was all she knew. This was all she--

"You're still holding on," Kylo spoke softly in her ear as she felt him wrap his arms around her from behind and she froze in her movements. "Let go."

"I-it's all I know--"

"But no longer will you know His deceit," He practically purred as he nosed her neck affectionately. "I'll teach you our ways. I'll help you, Rey. You just need to stop holding onto what Luke taught you. You're free now, so act so. From now on, you can pray to me, and I'll _always_ answer."

Days ago, that last sentence was blasphemous. Now? It was holy.

"K-Kylo, please--"

"What is it you wish?" His tone rumbled with love, with longing. "What is it you seek?"

" _Everything._ " Rey breathed out as the pieces of the cross fell from her fingers, her head falling back against his shoulder as she felt his hands slide up her sides.

"Will you let go?"

"I...already have," Rey whispered only to hang her head as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. 

"...I know it's hard to accept change," Kylo stood up and stared down at the cross pieces. He had been the one to do that, actually. "But you must remember that this is the life you've always wanted. This is the life you so rightfully deserve."

"A life of murder? Of blood, of sin?" Rey spoke hoarsely and Kylo clicked his tongue before crouching down beside her and turning her face towards him.

"A life of freedom, of happiness and of truth." He spoke lowly and Rey searched his eyes for a moment before leaning into his touch and closing her eyes tiredly.

"Will you kill Snoke with me?" Kylo asked gently and Rey's eyes flew open.

 _Did he hear the conversation...?_ "I...but...it is not my place--"

"Call it an act of love." He smirked and Rey's eyes widened at that. He _had_ heard the conversation.

"You listened in?" 

"Of course I listened in," Kylo's eyes softened as he ran his thumb across her cheekbone. A soft, gentle and delicate gesture. "What kind of man do you take me for?"

"One who doesn't listen in on private conversations--"

"I had to make sure that nothing went wrong, I--with what happened with Snoke..." He trailed off and Rey worried her lower lip before groaning and letting her head fall forward into his chest.

"Where is Snoke?"

"Out feeding."

"Out feeding..." Rey echoed before her eyes lit up with a plan.

"I know exactly how to kill him."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is short, yes. It's a filler chapter of sorts; one where the thing that needed to happen happened and it's a big turning point for the story. We see Rey's true self come out as well as her true feelings towards a certain priest.

When Snoke returned and passed by the dining hall on the way back to his room, he froze at the presence of Rey sitting within the dark.

He backed up to see her eyes glinting at him in the dark like a cat's would. Lightning suddenly soaked the room, lighting up her features in a most ghastly way, and Snoke found himself staring at her with narrowed eyes.

She was sitting in his place at the table with his cup in her hand. The very nerve.

"Welcome back," her tone was soft; non-threatening, "Did you enjoy your most likely unwilling cuisine?" Ah, there was the malice.

He chuckled as he walked in, seemingly manifesting beside her as he sat down. "She was most divine."

She scoffed loudly with a forced smile at this, her fingers curling tightly around the cup as her eyes bored heavily into his. Another flash of lightning and she was suddenly by the window, the cup forgotten on the table. Surprisingly, the scent of the blood within the cup made his mouth water with carnal hunger. It smelled sweet, like summer wine, and he slowly inched it towards him as she continued to look out at the window.

"We need to get along, Snoke," her voice echoed in the room, "For your progeny's sake. He's grown rather fond of me, and I of him."

"Fond of your cunt and blood, you mean."

Her eyes flashed angrily at this, a quiet hiss flying out as she glared at the window. No, she wouldn't shoot back an insult. No, she wouldn't argue. She needed this to work.

"Or perhaps it's because he's obsessed with the idea of you being different," Snoke swirled around the blood in the cup as he smirked. "Perhaps you being a half-breed... _excites him_. He's always been rather odd; even before I met him. He likes things that are...unique. Special. It's most likely because he's always wanted to be special--you know, because his parents didn't want him. Did you know that? They just gave him to Luke. Abandoned him, I'd say. I simply coaxed him to my side with praise. That's all it took. And that's the sad thing, isn't it? I got him to kill not only his parents after turning him, but also his fellow trainee hunters just by giving him the thing he had never gotten; praise."

Rey's heart ached in that moment. How she had ever seen Kylo as a monster, she had absolutely no clue. This man was obviously the monster. This man was obviously the puppeteer.

"And you're the same, aren't you, half-breed? That's why you're clinging to him. That's why you won't let me do what needs to be done."

"I think you forget that it was Palpatine that stopped you--"

"And I think you forget that you are nothing," he snarled before laughing and tossing his head back with mirth in his eyes. "You're nothing! You're nothing, and you have nothing! Once I kill you, which I plan on doing right here in this very room, Ren will forget about you in decade. You'll be nothing but a memory of a sensation of a cunt, of a taste, and you will rotting away in a forgotten ditch in which no one will ever find your body. The animals will pick at you, but even they won't remember you. And isn't that the very best part? They won't even thank you for the meal!" He was practically howling with laughter at that point, finding his words highly amusing, while Rey silently stared out the window with her jaw clenched.

 _Kylo, where are you?_ She wondered through their connection as she impatiently drummed her fingers on the windowsill. Another flash of lightning struck the room and she saw her reflection staring back at her for a split second in that eerie white light. She swore she saw her demonic doppelganger in place of her in the glass.

"Oh, and here's my absolute favorite part about you, half-breed,"

_Drink the blood, goddammit._

"You gave everything up for Ren! You renounced God for him! You, a little Catholic virgin huntress, gave everything up for a cock and--"

"Enough," Rey snapped violently as she whipped her head towards him. She was tired of being berated by this thing, this creature that crawled from the depths of Hell and had manipulated her mate for centuries. No more.

"Enough? Oh, no, I hardly think it's enough," Snoke mused as he lifted the cup. "But I do tire of your presence. Would you like me to get Ren in here so you may utter your last words to him as I kill you? I'm thinking decapitation by brute force."

"You wish to decapitate me, hmm?" Her fingers were still drumming, her nails still clicking against the chipped golden metallic paint. Yet her first clenched for a moment, it shaking and twitching ever so slightly, as she clenched her jaw almost painfully. And yet he did not notice.

"Here's to you, half-breed," Snoke raised his cup with a malicious grin, "May you rot in Hell for turning your back on a deity that never even cared about you in the first place."

But the moment he drank, she smiled so ferally that he paused. Another flash of lightning soaked the room, lighting up her features in the most demonic way possible, and the cup fell from his hand as he choked loudly.

"Does it hurt?" Rey cooed as she walked over. "Because it's hurting me." She pointed to the cup on the floor as he fell to his knees after sliding off the chair, Snoke desperately clawing at his throat as his eyes bulged.

"That was my blood," Rey smiled chaotically as she suppressed a laugh. She had been waiting for this. "And I drank a small amount of vervain, not enough to properly hurt me, but enough to properly hurt you. I'm in pain, yes, but not nearly as much pain as you."

"Y-you wench," Snoke choked out violently and Rey took the dagger off of the chair she had been sitting on before. 

"You think me an animal, _Your Highness_ ," Rey sneered as she kicked him onto his back, straddling him as she placed the blade to his throat. "So you shall get an animal."

But, just as she was about to slit his throat in a way that would kill him instantly, she saw Father Skywalker's face on his, and she stilled as her eyes widened.

At first, only the happiest memories of him played in her head.

The first day she met, how she had run to him and clung to him once the nuns had told her he was taking her to a place she'd never known: home.

The way they laughed together and how he taught her everything she knew. Their private conversations, their alone time in which they'd simply talk about the world and how nice life was.

But then other thoughts began to brew.

_"And if I had known what he would become, I would've told Leia to terminate the pregnancy."_

_"I would've killed him as a child and not have shed a single tear."_

_"Now look at you; my very own candle put out by the blood of a monstrous heathen."_

_He made you into this--into this_ monster _\--"_

Her face hardened as she stared down at Snoke, her irises--besides her golden rings--flashing red as she brought the end of blade down directly into his throat.

Warm blood splashed her face as he let out a garbled scream, but she didn't stop. Down and down the blade went into his throat, down and down and down and down and _down_. Her face was splashed with red as he let out choked scream after scream until she had completely shredded his vocal cords.

She could see and hear the muscles tearing, blood squirting out in every direction and coating her hands. More lightning flashed, the sound of hail heavy against the roof, and she found herself screaming as she stabbed and stabbed and stabbed.

She was killing him. She was killing Father Skywalker for everything he had done to her. All the lies he told, all the mirages and façades, and it felt _good_.

As Snoke lay dying, he glanced over in the corner to where he could visibly see Kylo being held back by Palpatine. His maker was grinning wildly, eyes glowing in the darkness, and Kylo looked _livid_.

They must've just manifested in the room, there to watch him die. There to watch him suffer.

He attempted to reach out only for Rey to bring the dagger down on his finger, the ancient screeching as she sliced the finger clean off. After that, her dagger went right back to his throat.

She didn't stop until his head separated from his body to which he instantly turned to ash, the tip of the blade crashing into the stone floor as she let out an animalistic scream.

She sat there trembling for a moment, feeling Kylo and Palpatine's presence in the room, and she let out a loud whine as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Did--did I do good?" Rey choked out and she suddenly felt Kylo's arms around her from behind as he whispered great praise in her ears.

"You did wonderfully," he was saying. "You did perfectly. My perfect, perfect love. You created art."

"Art...you think this...art," Rey said slowly, her head feeling as if someone had smashed a brick over it. Swimmy. Swimmy, she felt swimmy. Sick. Tired.

"I think it more magnificent than any painting in the world." Kylo breathed out and she glanced over to where Palpatine was.

He was still grinning. He was grinning as if he was _proud_.

"I love you," Kylo nearly choked out as his arms tightened around her while he buried his face in her shoulder. "I love you."

But she wasn't there in that moment.

Her mind was far off, thinking off a conversation she had with Father Skywalker long ago:

_"Father, what's home?"_

_"Home is the warmth of your heart; home is the happiness you seek most."_

"I love you, too," Rey rasped as she closed her eyes, a single tear sliding down her bloodied cheek. 

This was home now. This was home, and she could never look back.

In the darkness of the corner, Palpatine began to clap.


	19. Chapter 19

Here she was again, overthinking in a bath tub filled with bloodied water.

She ran her hands against the edges of the tub, pulling herself forward as she let her head hang forward while closing her eyes. But each time she closed her eyes, she saw Father Skywalker dying beneath her as she obliterated his throat with her ivory dagger.

It wasn't Father Skywalker she killed, but it felt like she had. Snoke's blue eyes had turned into his on that floor, and her eyes snapped open as a singular water droplet rolled off her hand and onto the floor. It sounded like an avalanche in her ears.

Kylo was speaking to Palpatine somewhere within the castle, but Rey wasn't focusing on their conversation. She was focusing on the sound of hail outside. It was pounding and screaming on the roof like a child having a meltdown. In her mind, the hail was her sanity. It pounded and pounded, threatening to rain down upon her like a titan loose from Tartarus, and she slowly looked up to the ceiling with a blank expression.

"Do you send hail as a threat?" Rey murmured up to the heavens, her eyes tired, "Do you seek to rain pelting icy stones upon me for renouncing you, O' Lord? Do you wish me destroyed?"

But, of course, silence was her only respondent. It always was when she asked Him questions.

"Pity," Rey clicked her tongue as she stood up, stepping out of the red water and onto the floor. "I still stand here despite your wishes." She smirked as she wrung her hair, walking into the bedroom still dripping wet and collapsing onto the bed on her back. She threw an arm over her eyes, a loud sigh escaping her lips as she melted into the silk sheets like hot butter.

She felt a pair of gloves hands slide up her stomach suddenly, a pair of lips pressing to her hip as a low, rumbling purr filled the large room. She uncovered her eyes, running her hands through Kylo's hair as he kissed up to her chest.

"Oh, my love," his voice was a breathy sigh that bloomed with passion like a summer rose, "You have absolutely no idea how exquisite you are. The sun pales in comparison to your glowing radiance."

"Such kind words," Rey purred quietly as she tilted his chin up to look at him. "What is the purpose of this wooing?"

"Can I not compliment my mate? I wasn't informed that doing so required having a reason." Kylo grinned and Rey snorted out a laugh as she let go of his chin.

"You absolute romantic, why are you buttering me up after what just happened?"

"Because I don't want you to dwell on it," he spoke softly as he came up further, taking one of her hands and pressing it against his chest. "I'd rather you dwell on me and us. You killed the dragon, now you may enjoy the treasure."

"The treasure? Oh, Kylo, what are you going on about?" Rey asked cautiously to which he only smiled.

"Palpatine wishes to anoint you as queen."

She felt as if she was falling as he uttered those seven words, her hand falling off the edge of the bed and hanging limply. Another droplet of water rolled off, and this time it sounded like an explosion that could decimate an entire continent.

"Tell me you're joking," she whispered frightfully and Kylo's smile slowly faltered. "Tell me this is a dream."

"You killed Snoke, it's only right--"

"For you!" Rey pushed up against his chest before moving away and sitting up. She hugged herself tightly, hunching over and letting out a shaky exhale as she stared at the wall with frightened eyes.

"No, for us," Kylo gently touched her shoulder with a smile as she glanced over at him. "We couldn't be us when he was here. The others fear you now--"

"You believe it is better to be feared than loved?" Rey cut him off and his eyes darkened significantly.

"To be feared is to be loved in this hierarchy, Rey."

What cold, truthful words he spoke.

"What about you? What do you get?" She frowned as she touched his cheek, his face breaking into a grin as he laughed.

"I get you!" He laughed louder and Rey's eyes softened as a small smile tugged at her lips. How pleased he seemed at this announcement, but all she felt was fear. But his laugh, for the moment, suppressed that fear as she leaned towards him and nosed his neck softly with a quiet purr.

"And if I decline?" Rey murmured against his neck and Kylo hummed as he tilted his head back so she'd have better access.

"You can't," Kylo spoke breathily as she crawled into his lap, her fangs scraping against his neck as she slid her hands up his chest. "It'd be an insult."

"An insult?" Rey murmured against his throat once more. "Well, I tend to be quite the insulting type. It seems right up my alley if I decline."

"He's on our-- _side..._ " Kylo moaned as she sank her fangs into his throat without warning. She pulled the blood from his veins greedily, and one of his hands was tangled in her wet hair as he pressed their bodies together tightly.

But the noises he was making; breathy groans and shaky moans that echoed in her chest, his other hand desperately grasping at her as his eyes screwed tightly shut.

She pulled back much to his dismay, a whine escaping his throat as she licked a stripe up the wounds before grabbing his face and kissing him in such a searing manner that she feared they would burn up together. When she pulled back, he looked ruined. 

"I'll speak with him." Rey tapped his nose before getting off of his lap, going over to where her dress lay before hesitating to pick it up. It was stained with copious amounts of blood, and Snoke's blood smelled most fowl to her nose. She sneered at it, moving it away from her with her foot before looking back over at Kylo who still sat there with a dreamy gaze and bruised lips.

"Do you have any other clothes I could steal by any chance? I ruined this one."

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Walking to the throne room felt funny. It felt as if she was walking straight to her doom clad in a red dress that symbolized the death of her humanity. In her mind, it was her blood that dyed the silk that she wore.

Her heels clicked against the stone ground, whispers coming from every hall and eyes sticking to her skin like a disease.

"Murderess," they whispered. "Killer of the king."

She paid no attention to them or their wandering eyes and harsh tongues, but she was almost certain that if she looked their way they would cower and bow like the hellish insects they were. She reigned supreme here now, much to her dismay. She just wanted to leave England and go far, far away.

But, as she drew nearer to the cursed room in which she killed Snoke, she heard a laugh behind her. She whirled around to see her demonic doppelganger at the end of the hallway, its eyes gleaming as it laughed again and turned the corner.

"Wait," Rey blinked before running to the end of the hall and down the corner. "Wait! Why are you here?"

She was only met with more haunting laughter and Rey's breathing turned erratic as she turned various corners and ran down numerous halls.

When she stopped, she found herself in the ballroom with the mirrored wall in front of her.

She swayed before falling to her knees in front of her, shakily touching her reflection to make sure she was seeing correctly.

"Are those my eyes or yours?" Rey whispered in horror as her reflection didn't reflect her actions. It simply smiled as it pointed behind itself, Rey looking over her shoulder to see Palpatine standing in the entranceway with a smile on his lips.

"Do you see it? Do you see her?" Rey asked in a trembling voice and Palpatine sighed as he walked over.

"See who, Rey? You?" He kept on smiling, just like Father Skywalker, and Rey looked back in the mirror to see that the doppelganger had promptly left.

"...I'm sorry," she shook her head once before looking up at him. "I was actually going to find you to speak with you, but I got...distracted."

"Ah," he patted her head almost affectionately. "I understand. You're in a new place, you wish to explore. I used to know someone who was very like you, actually. He was constantly moving around and seeing new places, all because he wished to explore every inch of the world."

"Did he?" Rey asked and Palpatine smirked.

"Oh, yes, of course. He saw everything...even Hell."

This made her skin crawl. She absentmindedly rubbed her arm as she let out an uneasy laugh, her eyes flicking back to the mirror just to check one more time. No, she was her. She was her.

She took a deep breath before coming out with the thing she needed to tell him, "I came to speak with you because I am sorry to say that I cannot accept--"

"Oh, but you must," he knelt down beside her, running a gnarled hand down her hair as they both stared in the mirror. It was in that moment that Rey begin to question as to why his eyes were the same as her doppelganger's.

"You killed Snoke, it is your place to take the throne. Kylo will be right beside you, don't worry. Your mate is happily included. But it will be you who is in charge of most things."

"But...but I don't... _want_ to be queen," Rey frowned and his smile remained unchanging. "I just want to be me."

"Oh, you'll always be you," Palpatine crooned. "But you'll be a better you."

 _"I'm better."_ That was what her doppelganger had said in her dream. Was--was her doppelganger some sort of the vision of the future? No, that'd be impossible. Why would she have the eyes of an elite? Why would she have Palpatine's eyes?

Rey rubbed her temples as she screwed her eyes shut, her vision suddenly spinning and her throat constricting. This was too much. This was far too much for her. 

"But I'm _not_ ," Rey laughed breathlessly as she carded a hand through her hair. It was still damp. "Royalty material. I'm not royalty material, and I think it a nightmare to be 'Queen of the Leeches'."

"Ah, but nightmares can beautiful, too." Palpatine chuckled and Rey tensed up as she glanced over at him. He obviously didn't know what her nightmares consisted of or he'd change his mind. Then again, this man was evil in its purest form, and he probably thought the sight of murder was the most divine sight in existence.

"I was raised by the hand of God, so you can see as to why I'm hesitan--"

"The promise of the Devine is nothing but a sweet illusion. God is nothing but the embodiment of suffering." Palpatine sighed loudly as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "And you, Rey, have done nothing but suffer until now. Don't you think it's finally time you let yourself bloom into the bloodied flower you were born as?"

He paused at her silence before continuing, "Come. I have a surprise for you."

He offered his hand to her after standing up and Rey slowly took it as she stood, her eyes shining with worry as they made their way out of the ballroom and back down the hall.

She felt cold. For the first time in ages, she felt freezing. She felt as if winter itself was burrowing into her bones with its razor-sharp nails. She could feel its icicles stab her in every direction, feel the blood draining from her body to pool beneath in the snow. She felt...frozen.

They were nearing the throne room when she caught the scent of someone who seemed familiar. That's odd, she didn't--

Peppermint leaf oil and vanilla extract.

_Jessika._

Rey broke free from Palpatine and rushed into the throne room like a mad woman, ignoring the crowd within watching her, and she fell to her knees beside her friend's body.

Jessika looked near dead. Her throat and arms were coated with bites and blood pooled around her like a blanket. Her eyes were glassy and her lips nearly blue, and Rey let out a shrill scream as tears sprang to her eyes.

" _What is the meaning of this?!_ " Rey screamed as she cradled Jessika's body tightly to her, her eyes wild as she frantically looked around. " _Which one of you did it?!_ "

Silence. Only silence.

" _Which one of you--_ "

"Rey," Jessika croaked out and Rey instantly looked down at her, not noticing both Palpatine and Kylo coming in.

"You're wearing a dress." Jessika smiled weakly and Rey blinked before laughing and pressing their foreheads together.

"Y-Yeah, I am. I'm wearing a dress." Rey laughed again as tears slid down her cheeks.

"They want you to kill me," Jessika whispered and Rey's face fell. "Initiation. They called it initiation."

"Oh, Jess, no," Rey smiled sadly as she brushed her friend's hair back. "No, no, no one is dying. You're going to be okay."

"Are you...happy?"

Jessika's question bounced around in her head and she moved her head back and stared down at her in silence as she nodded.

"That's good," Jessika laughed weakly as her head lolled to the side. "Finn is...losing his mind. He misses you so much."

"He tried to kill me--"

"Which would've tormented him for the rest of his life, and you know that. You know that."

"I actually came to look for y--" Jessika coughed then and crimson splattered Rey's chest. She flinched at the warmness of it, her eyes screwing shut as she whined loudly. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a nightmare.

"It's time to kill your your first human, Rey," Palpatine announced and Rey's eyes flew open. "It's time to spill your first blood."

In a fit of impulse, Rey turned to glare at him before her eyes flicked to Kylo. He looked just as shocked as her.

"Fuck you." Rey spat before biting her wrist and putting it to Jessika's lips.

Jessika began to drink.


End file.
